funny how my messed up head works, it takes noise in order to quiet my mind, this thing does the trick
You head is not messed up. Most people are the same way. I'm hypersensitive to certain sounds and relaxed by other sounds:
This rain sound played with low volume - relaxing
This rain sound played at highest volume - noise
Hearing people yelling and banging in condo above mine (i.e. humans doing their thing) - extreme noise
Hearing birds chirping outside my window (i.e. birds doing their thing) - relaxing
Hearing dogs barking or scratching on floor in condo above mine (i.e. dogs doing their thing) - extreme noise
Hearing classical music - relaxing
Hearing loud rock music in condo above mine - extreme noise
PS - This past Friday, I sold my condo. Moving to somewhere I can hear birds chirping and rain falling and no unpleasant sounds (hopefully).