Last post wins!!!!!

[gasplamey]

No, actually it was a kind of truth.  Perhaps metaphorical, but like many myths, it had some origins in truths about the human condition.

So, don't have a guanaco, sir.

With fond regards,

Craven Moorehead

Why did you post after me, if all of my "wins" count towards you winning?

[perfect_pitch]

No you idiot

Actually, it's not fair to say that. The original 10 seasons had scenarios that I'm sure most Americans actually felt personally. Homer not wanting to go to church, Bart & Lisa having to play sports on the opposite teams in a final match, Marge feeling unloved and being almost seduced by a smooth French-talking bowling instructor and Maggie shooting a greedy, sun-hating & oil-living tycoon billionaire.

[lostinidlewonder]

No you idiot.

Are you a true story?

[perfect_pitch]

C'mon - even you probably had a great laugh for the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons...

They unified every family around the world.

And yes, I am real.

[lostinidlewonder]

And yes, I am real.

Is "I" a true story?

[j_tour]

You all are bunch of true stories.

Bunch of doofuses.

Keith Morrison probably did some investigative reporting on all y'all.

[perfect_pitch]

He wouldn't care about any of us - we're Australian and the worse we get up to is drinking beer and watching the football (but even then, I can't stand the football).

No need to investigate us...

[j_tour]

No need to investigate us...

To catch a predator I'll go to the ends of the earth!

[gasplamey]

Is "I" a true story?

No.
You is a false story.
Made-up. Fabricated. Entirely untrue.

Cope.

[j_tour]

Why did you post after me, if all of my "wins" count towards you winning?

Because I don't like you, that's why!  I don't like kids in general! 

You do show a bit of promise, but I have my standards.

[perfect_pitch]

While I think it's humorous that the Courier New font face is becoming more popular on this forum, I refuse to join you both.

[gasplamey]

While I think it's humorous that the Courier New font face is becoming more popular on this forum, I refuse to join you both.

Then you will be destroyed.
Erased.
Utterly dismembered.
No trace of you shall remain.

All will be Courier.

Because I don't like you, that's why!

Well start liking me.
That's an order!

[lostinidlewonder]

No.
You is a false story.
Made-up. Fabricated. Entirely untrue.

Cope.

Is "made up and fabricated being entirely untrue" a true story?? I mean, can that be replied upon to cope with?

[j_tour]

I refuse to join you both.

Nobody axed you nothing, you Strine speaking bogan!

Courier New is the only damned typeface worth a damn on this joint, anyway.

Ask anybody!  They'll tell you that.

Common knowledge.

All will be Courier.  Well start liking me.
That's an order!

Eat my pants, dude.

[perfect_pitch]

]Then you will be destroyed.
Erased.
Utterly dismembered.
No trace of you shall remain.

[j_tour]

Somebody needs some shaft.

And spray some Drakkar Noir on their everywhere.

For the ladies.

[perfect_pitch]

You do realise Shaft is a fictional character???

[j_tour]

You do realise Shaft is a fictional character???

What?  You're a fictional character!

Damn right.



Also, in other news, Al Pacino's "Tony Montana" used too many bullets in the *Scarface* tribute by Brian De Palma.

(Also, not quite visible, but the general formula is inverse tangent....the derivation of the formula is brief but sound.  Like many such formulae it is built on first-year calculus, which here is just integration over time in a few vectors which is eventually abstracted away....well, and the well known abstractions of geometry, which are also from basic calculus, you know, like spheres and such (I didn't think I'd have to say that, but why the hell not).) 

It's a satisfactory formula, I guess, but deflection/squirt (not exactly the same thing, but if you have to ask, you don't need to know!) is something you really need experience to "feel" when at the pool or snooker table.

If you plug in some dummy quantities for the variables, it's actually not much, and is pretty simple if you just look at the formula with a clear head.  Not nothing, but very small quantities once one takes sqrt of such-and-such squared and sqrt all that, and even just pencil and paper, or in your head.....it's not much).

[lostinidlewonder]

[perfect_pitch]

(Also, not quite visible, but the general formula is inverse tangent....the derivation of the formula is brief but sound.  Like many such formulae it is built on first-year calculus, which here is just integration over time in a few vectors which is eventually abstracted away....well, and the well known abstractions of geometry, which are also from basic calculus, you know, like spheres and such (I didn't think I'd have to say that, but why the hell not). 

I wouldn't know - the full formula isn't completely shown clearly so all we have is your word... and frankly I don't think that means much.

[j_tour]

I wouldn't know - the full formula isn't completely shown clearly so all we have is your word... and frankly I don't think that means much.

Oh yeah?  Well you don't mean much too, but more!

https://drdavebilliardtshirts.com/product-category/humor/squirt/

[perfect_pitch]

Oh yeah?  Well you don't mean much too, but more!

If you claim I don't mean much... but then follow it with 'but more', it means I mean MORE than not much (i.e. a higher level than 'not much').

That's so kind of you to say... thank you.

Also... was it too hard to do this:

[j_tour]

Also... was it too hard to do this:

No.

[perfect_pitch]

No.

Then why didn't you... clearly it was.

[j_tour]

Then why didn't you...

Because you did it for me, like the punk you are!

[perfect_pitch]

Because you did it for me, like the punk you are!

No... Geniuses do what meagre men can't.

I think you're becoming like Bob... unable to embed in a simple internet forum.

[j_tour]

unable to embed in a simple internet forum.

Like hell!  You're "simple!"

[perfect_pitch]

I have simple needs... a roof over my head, food in my stomach and a Yamaha C2 to play...

...but intellectually I am far more advanced than you seem to give me credit for.

[j_tour]

...but intellectually I am far more advanced than you seem to give me credit for.

Oh, look at the college boy with his fancy words!

Pardon me, William F. Buckley!

[perfect_pitch]

Oh, look at the college boy with his fancy words!

And I can only assume that's some horrific science experiment you have cooking in your basement???

Or a dog whose care has been a little neglectful?

[j_tour]

And I can only assume that's some horrific science experiment you have cooking in your basement???

Or a dog whose care has been a little neglectful?

Yep.

Both, really.

[perfect_pitch]

I dread to think what else you have in your basement... a Kaiju, new species of mould...

Perhaps COVID didn't originate from China, but rather your dusty and filthy basement.   

[j_tour]

I dread to think what else you have in your basement... a Kaiju, new species of mould...

It's an attic, really.  Big enough for several medium-sized beasts.

Kaiju.  Again with the fancy words.  Those are like Mothra and Gamera, IIRC, right?

Gamera is friend to children.

[lostinidlewonder]

Please stick to true stories.

[perfect_pitch]

Sadly enough - I DO believe he has that in his basement... I mean attic.

[j_tour]

Please stick to true stories.

Gamera is a friend to children!  He's good!

[perfect_pitch]

Gamera is approximately 90 metres tall. One slip of the foot and that's many squished children on the side walk.

Not very friendly.

[lostinidlewonder]

Just somewhat friendly I guess.

[perfect_pitch]

Clearly their music and their singing was terrible. People have done much worse in the past.

[j_tour]

Clearly their music and their singing was terrible. People have done much worse in the past.

People like............Sxxxxxx?

A friend to children, anyway, surely.

[perfect_pitch]

People like............Sxxxxxx?

No... No one likes Sxrxbjx. No one on the planet.

[j_tour]

No... No one likes Sxrxbjx. No one on the planet.

What?  Everybody loves Scriabin, and some of us play his works regularly (although his last few sonate are bastards to play, frankly — technically and psychologically....difficult material).

[perfect_pitch]

People like............Sxxxxxx?

What?  Everybody loves Scriabin

You're missing one too many 'x's in order for that to be correct. And I put the correct amount of x's for it to be NOT Scriabin.

[lostinidlewonder]

But does he really miss his x's? Like cries over it?

[perfect_pitch]

But does he really miss his x's? Like cries over it?

Yes, actually he does. It tears him up inside... it keeps him from sleeping at nights and each time he sees a knife he thinks it would probably be easier to stab himself in the heart than to go through the treachery of knowing that nobody refers to him by his proper name and will forever be known as 'he who shall not be named'...

or Sxrxbjx... because I'll be fxcked before I say his proper name.

[j_tour]

You goddamned bunch of clowns.

I knew going into that post there wouldn't be the right amount of "x"s.  Seemed good enough for you lot.

What, you want me to sing a song about it, for you fruity little ivory ticklers?  All my exes live in Texas.  Fine.

Get bent, bunch of hosers.

that nobody refers to him by his proper name and will forever be known as 'he who shall not be named'...

what did you just say, sonny boy? 

If it wasn't "Yes sir, them shoes surely do look mighty better after all dat polishing up I did on them," then we're going to go round and round.

Good.

Now go home and get your shine box.

[perfect_pitch]

If it wasn't "Yes sir, them shoes surely do look mighty better after all dat polishing up I did on them," then we're going to go round and round.

It wasn't... I said "shine you're own god damned shoes, or I'll put them on and kick your arse with your own shoes."

[j_tour]

It wasn't... I said "shine you're own god damned shoes, or I'll put them on and kick your arse with your own shoes."

You like that, huh?

Stop hitting yourself.

OK, you like that?

[perfect_pitch]

I'm thankful we're separated by many thousands of miles... so there's not a single damn thing you can do about it.

[j_tour]

I'm thankful we're separated by many thousands of miles... so there's not a single damn thing you can do about it.

Is that a true story, or did you make that up?

I need one page on each artist featured in this collage on my desk by yesterday, copy?