Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Found them.

No, you didn't - because the words don't exist.

bulge enhancing underwear for swimsuit.

Speak for yourself... I don't need any enhancing of my bulge...

[lostinidlewonder]

Good, good. The first step is to admit the bulge doesn't need to get any bigger.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

No, you didn't - because the words don't exist.

Yes, I did. On page 5,991.

[perfect_pitch]

Good, good. The first step is to admit the bulge doesn't need to get any bigger.

[ Invalid YouTube link ]

I'm usually amazed at the malleability of the human body - contortionists, athlete's who run marathons on a daily basis, and the marvel at the human pianist who has such control over their hands...

...but I have no sympathy for those who let themselves get to that sort of stage of obesity. Do they not realise how valuable life is???

Sure you can get liposuction, your stomach stapled, the fat sucked out of you, a nip and tuck for the stretchy skin... but it's really hard to get a heart transplant... and once that bastard beats its last, you're doomed.

Their ain't no extra lives... and the worst thing would be being 45 years old and realising that your life is at an end as you're desperately trying to ring Emergency services... all the while thinking this wouldn't have happened if they had just kept in a healthy-ish state of health.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

the fact sucked out of you

huh.

[perfect_pitch]

huh.

Sorry... that's a craniotomy, not liposuction that does that.     

Same effect happens when you watch Jerry Springer or any of the Kardashians on TV.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Sorry... that's a craniotomy, not liposuction that does that.     

Well, at least you made the correction.

[gasplamey]

The hell did I miss?

[perfect_pitch]

You missed so much that it was rather insulting that you left us this long... we were heartbroken when we realised you were missing, and we'd put your face on the milk cartons, and we'd contacted the police, I was crying into my pillow...

Actually, not really... but it is nice to see you back.

Well, at least you made the correction.

What can I say - I'm a man who admits to his mistakes.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

The hell did I miss?

p_P made a comment about you having FOMO the last time you said that, and I was going to put it here.

But I couldn't find it. So have this.

Edit: I didn't mean to break the response time record, but hey I'll take it.
TWO SECONDS!

[perfect_pitch]

Meh... I have the record for the most futuristic win. It's nice having a post that's 2 billion years in the future.

[j_tour]

and the worst thing would be being 45 years old and realising that your life is at an end as you're desperately trying to ring Emergency services...

That's hilarious.  Apparently early-mid middle age is "old" to this guy.

You should be glad to make it to that age yourself, sucking all that tea and eating your Vegemite with wanton abandon!

I'm in my mid forties and aside from when I was a competitive tennis player as a teenager, I feel strong enough to whup a llama's ass.  There are some physical degenerations, as well as cognitive decline — inevitable, but not necessarily regrettable —  but the trade-off is that I have much more knowledge than most youths about the collected works of Wesley Willis, inter alii.

[perfect_pitch]

That's hilarious.  Apparently early-mid middle age is "old" to this guy.

Shows you didn't even read the entire thing - I was talking about overly obese people who have detrimentally shorter lives because of the trauma on the heart of moving around a 500-600lb person.

I will make it to that age... and probably twice that number.

And I don't eat vegemite - it's *** gross.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Meh... I have the record for the most futuristic win. It's nice having a post that's 2 billion years in the future.

Only true in your timezone.

[perfect_pitch]

Chances are in 2 billion years🖕🏻 the Earth will have been swallowed by the sun exploding and becoming a supergiant🖕🏻 and there won't be any 'timezones'

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Chances are in 2 billion years, the Earth will have been swallowed by the sun exploding and becoming a supergiant, and there won't be any 'timezones'.

5 to 8 billion.

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - aliens🖕🏻 black holes appearing🖕🏻 our own stupid sense of pushing science and having it destroy us all...

I doubt we'll even MAKE it to the 2🖕🏻000🖕🏻000🖕🏻000 AD mark in our history🖕🏻

[liszt-and-the-galops]

I doubt we'll even MAKE it to the 2,000,000,000 AD mark in our history.

No sh*t, Sherlock.

[perfect_pitch]

No sh*t, Sherlock.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip🖕🏻 After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night🖕🏻 and went to sleep🖕🏻
Some hours later🖕🏻 Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend🖕🏻 "Watson🖕🏻 look up at the sky and tell me what you see🖕🏻"

Watson replied🖕🏻 "I see millions and millions of stars🖕🏻"

"What does that tell you???"

Watson pondered for a minute🖕🏻 "Astronomically🖕🏻 it tells me that there  are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets🖕🏻 Astrologically🖕🏻 I observe that Saturn is in Leo🖕🏻 Horologically🖕🏻 I  deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three🖕🏻 Theologically🖕🏻 I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant🖕🏻 Meteorologically🖕🏻 I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow🖕🏻 Why🖕🏻 what does it tell you?"



Holmes was silent for a minute🖕🏻 then spoke🖕🏻 "Watson🖕🏻 you imbecile🖕🏻 Some bastard has stolen our tent🖕🏻"

[lostinidlewonder]

Sharing a tent in the woods with Bert and Ernie?

[perfect_pitch]

Sherlocks name, along with Watson was mentioned multiple times in that joke... and somehow you assume it was about Bert & Ernie...

(And in case that was too hard for you to understand - I'm Jerry, and you're George in that scenario.)

[lostinidlewonder]

Well two grown men in the forest, sharing a tent together, you know man who pitch tent is not necessarily camping.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Sharing a tent in the woods with Bert and Ernie?

Yes, keep triggering p_p. He might ragequit eventually

[perfect_pitch]

Yes, keep triggering p_p. He might ragequit eventually.

If you think I'm going to give up that easily - you don't know me...

...you don't know me AT ALL!!!

[liszt-and-the-galops]

If you think I'm going to give up that easily - you don't know me...

...you don't know me AT ALL!!!

You know, there's a fancy new thing called "sarcasm." It's all the rage right now; you should try it.

[perfect_pitch]

Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture which says that🖕🏻 without a clear indicator of the author's intent🖕🏻 any parodic or sarcastic expression of extreme views can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

Ergo... Sarcasm doesn't travel well over the internet🖕🏻 As a long-time internet user🖕🏻 you should know this🖕🏻

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Poe's law is an adage of Internet culture which says that, without a clear indicator of the author's intent, any parodic or sarcastic expression of extreme views can be mistaken by some readers for a sincere expression of those views...

Ergo... Sarcasm doesn't travel well over the internet. As a long-time internet user, you should know this.

I guess you mistook the small /j at the end for a period.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Did I break the record?

Edit: nope, but I'll gladly make myself look dumb by getting the comment above this one removed...
Yikes.

[j_tour]

I like periods.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

I like periods.

Which kind and for what reason.

[perfect_pitch]

I like periods.

Me too... The Romantic is my favourite... the Baroque and 20th century - not so much🖕🏻

[j_tour]

Me too... The Romantic is my favourite... the Baroque and 20th century - not so much.

That disgusts me. 

You have offended me, and I require satisfaction at dawn with pistols.

Romantic indeed.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

That disgusts me.

Why.
Romantic had both Alkan and Liszt, the two best composers.

[j_tour]

Why.
Romantic had both Alkan and Liszt, the two best composers.

Yep.

Spend the rest of my life playing Alkan, I could.  Clearly deserves to be muttered in the same sentence as Liszt.

Excuse me while I spit some chewing tobacco on the floor over there.

[perfect_pitch]

Why.
Romantic had both Alkan and Liszt, the two best composers.

Maybe he can't play any of Alkan or Liszt's pieces... they are pretty hard🖕🏻

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Maybe he can't play any of Alkan or Liszt's pieces... they are pretty hard.

Ouch.

[perfect_pitch]

Hows the Mazeppa coming along???

Also🖕🏻 I love how auto correct tried (on my computer) to correct it to the word Temazepam🖕🏻

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Hows the Mazeppa coming along???

I forgot to mention what I was practicing today in my other post.
Doing some Czerny (op. 299).

[j_tour]

So you're saying Czerny is better than Liszt.

At least you can play that.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

So you're saying Czerny is better than Liszt.

At least you can play that.

Think I'll keep that one for later use...
Sure comes up a lot.

[j_tour]

Here's a coin.  Go have a Mandalorian or whatever you people do.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Here's a coin.  Go have a Mandalorian or whatever you people do.

...
What the f*** is a Mandalorian???


Anyways, STLPW is at 94 pages now. You guys need to pick up the pace if you want to stay ahead.

[j_tour]

...
What the f*** is a Mandalorian???

How the hell should I know?  Another thing:  you talk a lot.  Like Wernicke's aphasia kind of talk.

I find it unpleasant.

Go have another Star War or whatever you people do.

[perfect_pitch]

Oh dear god - why are you posting her here??? Can we not sully this beautiful page with her god awful "breaking"?

She was *** embarrassing🖕🏻 I was ashamed of being Australian during that "demonstration"🖕🏻 She made a fool of herself at the Olympics and is now bitching about the fact that she got such a poor score🖕🏻

Imagine the poor bastard who's just spent the last 2 decades training🖕🏻 years preparing🖕🏻 and hours of arduous running during the 40km marathon to win his gold medal - dripping with sweat🖕🏻 his lungs seizing in pain at the enduring race he's just taken upon🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻 and this twat gets a gold medal for doing this for not even a total of 2 minutes:

Good thing is that they are literally trying to erase that performance from the internet (literally) and at least we won't ever have to see "Breaking" at the Olympics🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻 ever🖕🏻 ever again🖕🏻

[perfect_pitch]

Anyways, STLPW is at 94 pages now. You guys need to pick up the pace if you want to stay ahead.

B|TCH PLEASE... You've clearly got your profile displaying 5 posts per page... so no wonder STLPW is at Page 94. If you're like every other normal user who probably has it on 50 posts per page, then your paltry thread has a measly 10 pages while we're almost up to the 350th page.

That thread ain't gonna surpass this... even if we did keep it going for the next 2🖕🏻000🖕🏻000🖕🏻000 years🖕🏻



Damnit - thought I hit the edit button on my last post🖕🏻 not create a new one🖕🏻

[liszt-and-the-galops]

B**** PLEASE... You've clearly got your profile displaying 5 posts per page... so no wonder STLPW is at Page 94.

As a matter of fact, my profile does NOT display 5 posts/page, and you wouldn't have known the reason for why I made that comment if you hadn't been reading STLPW. Not only that, but there's not even a way to CHECK how many posts/page another person is displaying.

Damnit - thought I hit the edit button on my last post, not create a new one.

Well, this thread is now second to last post wins/j

[liszt-and-the-galops]

And in case your eyes aren't good enough to see the text that I clearly put at the end of the previous post, here it is (scaled up by a factor of 70):

/j

And in case you're too dumb to realize this part, that /j only applies to the second paragraph in my above post, and not the first.

[perfect_pitch]

Well... for your information🖕🏻 I've been slowly inserting middle finger emojis into all of my posts recently🖕🏻 How you didn't see them I don't know🖕🏻 but that's on you🖕🏻

[j_tour]

That may be either foreplay or the main show.

Depends on one's technique.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't think anyone ever thought of brushing their teeth as foreplay...

...unless one's really desperate.