I'm thinking that it's been years since I last fell in love, and wondering if it'll ever happen again. My guess is that it won't. It sounds terrible, I know, but I'm pretty sure of it.
I changed so much over the past few years, I don't think I could ever go back to my old self. I don't feel anything like I used to. I just hate everything so much. I can't control it, even though I'm trying. I don't think there's anything that can fix it, and even if I leave the army it won't change anything.
To be honest, the only times I really feel calm and content is when I play the piano. I don't have to worry about anything, I don't have to think about my future. I just clear my mind and fester in my own emotions and thoughts. It's hard to describe.
But it's not like I can spend the rest of my life playing without seeing anyone. If I could find a girl that makes me feel like I feel when I play the piano, it would make everything so much better. But I think it's too late for that. I've become too cynical to fall in love.
Wow, didn't mean to sound like a 14 year old girl. Sorry 'bout that.