Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

WHAT?!?

Check out the big brain on Brett.

[perfect_pitch]

What makes you think I'm the pasty white guy???

I could be the black guy cowering in the corner...

(and no, I don't mean to use 'black' and 'white' as some sort of diametrically opposed racist term... we've been using the terms for ages, and most people don't actually use it in a racist way. It's only those who seem to be very sensitive who seem to take offence when none was intended in the beginning)

[lostinidlewonder]

Stop being racist.

[perfect_pitch]

...but if you use the term without a derogatory connotation - how can it be racist???

[j_tour]

how can it be racist???

Only you can decide!  Look into your heart of darkness, son, and go thou and sin no more!

I'm kidding.  It's not racist at all.  And pretty sure LIIW was joshing you a bit.

[perfect_pitch]

Only you can decide!  Look into your heart of darkness, son, and go thou and sin no more!

What if you don't have one, and in its place is just a piece of dried, blackened flint???

[j_tour]

What if you don't have one, and in its place is just a piece of dried, blackened flint???

Excise it with a grapefruit spoon and eat of it.

[perfect_pitch]

Excise it with a grapefruit spoon and eat of it.

A good host would suggest with which sauce, condiment or relish to put on said flint in order to fully enjoy it.

Be a good host. 

[j_tour]

Be a good host.

Bathe in a mixture of turpentine, unpasteurized milk, and warm mammal blood from a fresh kill.

I have some prepared.  Step this way, sir. 

You may disrobe now.  Discretion is our policy.

Would you like the Sxrxbji now, or later, sir?

[perfect_pitch]

Bathe in a mixture of turpentine, unpasteurized milk, and warm mammal blood from a fresh kill.

I have some prepared.  Step this way, sir. 

You may disrobe now.  Discretion is our policy.

Would you like the Sxrxbji now, or later, sir?

You know what - that's such a brilliant, creative and dark answer - I'm going to give you a clap for originality.



I'll order the mammal blood (I was fresh out) with unpasteurised milk, hold the Sxrxbji (it leaves a bad taste in my mouth).   

[lostinidlewonder]

Are they clapping for the bad taste Smith left in Rocks mouth?

[perfect_pitch]

Are they clapping for the bad taste Smith left in Rocks mouth?

Considering Chris Rock made a piss-poor crass joke about Jada Smiths hair loss - Chris Rock got what he bloody well deserved.

You mouth off about someone's woman - you deserve to get owned.

[j_tour]

I'll order the mammal blood (I was fresh out) with unpasteurised milk, hold the Sxrxbji (it leaves a bad taste in my mouth).

You may have it. 

Hospitality is our chief pride.

I must attend to another of our guests.

[perfect_pitch]

I must attend to another of our guests.

I could make a joke based upon the gif you provided, that one of your guests needs you to pump him full of 'cream'...

...but I think that would debase this great thread of ours.

[j_tour]

...but I think that would debase this great thread of ours.

Can't have that!

Anyway, it would upset Cookie Puss.

[perfect_pitch]

DEAR JESUS - BURN IT WITH FIRE!!! BURN IT TO HELL!!!

That is HORRIFYING!!! What evil mother-*** invented that???

[j_tour]

That is HORRIFYING!!!

So, you don't like Cookie Puss?

Cookie Puss likes you! 

Cookie Puss told me so!

[perfect_pitch]

So, you don't like Cookie Puss?

No... I hope Cookie Puss melts, and turns into a puddle, then a bunch of cats spend their free time licking him up off the side of the street.

[j_tour]

No... I hope Cookie Puss melts, and turns into a puddle, then a bunch of cats spend their free time licking him up off the side of the street.

That's SOP.  Everything!  Throw it on the stoop and see if the cat licks it up.

[lostinidlewonder]

But what is your favorite So-rub-me piano piece or massage oil?

[perfect_pitch]

Doesn't Biden have a button like that in the oval office - a lot CAN go wrong if you push it.

But what is your favorite So-rub-me piano piece or massage oil?

Are you having fun arguing in yet another forum against a pedantic psycho? Don't torture ahinton too much... it's fun to see him care so deeply about...

Oh, who am I kidding...

[lostinidlewonder]

[perfect_pitch]

Maim...
Severely injure???

[lostinidlewonder]

is XXX better? or XOXO? mmmm XO sauce....

[perfect_pitch]

Who doesn't like XXX!!!

 

[j_tour]

Doesn't Biden have a button like that in the oval office - a lot CAN go wrong if you push it.

I wouldn't know.  But I have a new gal who is not that concerned about me pushing her button the wrong way....since I do it right...but she takes a lot of advice from apparently male-menopausal, protective soy-boys in her coterie.

Conclusion?  Despise in one's heart, but publicly remain neutral or positive about people like xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and xxxxx and mxxxxxfxxxxxxxx N_____'s infantile, R-tarded "friends."

[perfect_pitch]

I wouldn't know.  But I have a new gal who is not that concerned about me pushing her button the wrong way....since I do it right...

Blow up sex-dolls are apparently very easy to please. You have fun with 'her'.

[lostinidlewonder]

I assume you mean blowing up.

[j_tour]

Blow up sex-dolls are apparently very easy to please. You have fun with 'her'.

I have lots of invented girlfriends, thanks to the magic of the internet.  This one isn't a girlfriend, though.  Just a degenerate with some bad habits, like playing video poker in a nearly empty bar in the early afternoon.

You too can capture your own degenerates, by frequenting such environments!  Yes, even you!

[Bob]

Crap.  *Bob posts just in case the thread is closed.*   *...and only glances up at a few of the previous posts.*

[perfect_pitch]

This one isn't a girlfriend, though.  Just a degenerate with some bad habits, like playing video poker in a nearly empty bar in the early afternoon.

Which pare of playing video poker in a bar in the afternoon is a bad thing???

Oh wow... that is disturbing. That CAN'T be a real Facebook page... SURELY?!?

Where in the deep, dark waters of HELL do you dig this dredge up from??? I wouldn't feel safe swimming in said waters.

[lostinidlewonder]

What's wrong with the name?

[j_tour]

Which pare of playing video poker in a bar in the afternoon is a bad thing???

Nothing, particularly.  After all, I was there playing pool and drinking after my early-morning straight job.

It's just that the people one meets can be flighty, cliquish, and eccentric.  The women will take on just about anything fresh and new to them, but won't hold to the formation in a reliable way.

These are life lessons, people!

[perfect_pitch]

Nothing, particularly.  After all, I was there playing pool and drinking after my early-morning straight job.

What do you mean... 'straight' job? Do you have some dark, seedy non-straight job where you rebel against societys norms and their laws.

What do you do? Sell used organs, fake rolex's, used panties?
Are you making meth, crack, horse testosterone?

I DEMAND TO KNOW!!!

[j_tour]

What do you do? Sell used organs, fake rolex's, used panties?
Are you making meth, crack, horse testosterone?

I sell body fluids on the side.

The straight job is just standing on the corner, not doing nothing, officer.

[perfect_pitch]

I sell body fluids on the side.

GREAT... I've been searching on eBay for a jar of tears for so long and found NOTHING...

Glad to hear there's someone out there with a healthy supply.

Oh, apparently God also has a plentiful supply - which seems a little creepy.

[j_tour]

God ain't here no more.  On this corner I'm the man.

You got some tears need collecting?  You go talk to Charlene over there.  Ask her for a forty dollar special.

[lostinidlewonder]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

God ain't here no more.  On this corner I'm the man.

That's sexist.

You got some tears need collecting?  You go talk to Charlene over there.  Ask her for a forty dollar special.

What happens if you only have $13... and a button?

[j_tour]

What happens if you only have $13... and a button?

You want a half special?  Hey, man, I dig!

Go over and talk to Shorty Slim.  She's one of my main gals. 

Yeah!

No rough stuff, though.

[lostinidlewonder]

What happens if you only have $13... and a button?

An enamel & 18K gold cuff button between 1819 and 1838?

[perfect_pitch]

An enamel & 18K gold cuff button between 1819 and 1838?

Erm... sure...

[lostinidlewonder]

Soooow muck mongey.

[perfect_pitch]

Soooow muck mongey.

I don't even know where to being... ahh, you know screw it...

[lostinidlewonder]

Maybe: Sooh maht mun ney
https://www.101soundboards.com/sounds/483326-so-much-money

[perfect_pitch]

https://www.101soundboards.com/sounds/483326-so-much-money

Like a prostitute who probably has an STD... I ain't touching that link.

[j_tour]

I ain't touching that link.

Touch it! 

Do it!

Touch the link!

[lostinidlewonder]

Like a prostitute who probably has an STD... I ain't touching that link.

You don't touch it, you click it, you don't need to stick anything into it either. It is ok you can be paranoid about the outside it is called Agoraphobia. Your computer should have a prophylactic always on in any case, unless you are using old fashioned sheep guts you shouldn't ever have anything to worry about.

[perfect_pitch]

It is ok you can be paranoid about the outside it is called Agoraphobia.

Oh, I have no fear of the outside world. What I fear is knowing that you've probably visited all the deepest, darkest part of the internet and have seen things no human should ever have to endure...

...those parts I would rather stay AWAY from my psyche and my sanity.