Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

That's what Christmas and New Year is all about - a perfect excuse to drink excessively, and have the day off after to deal with the hangover.

[frodo3]

This feud has been going on longer than you probably realise... we're all friends here.

What?  Are you guys like the Hatfields and McCoys or something?

[frodo3]

Yeah, yeah.....  You guys - ALWAYS with your fancy pictures.

[frodo3]

And the Americans with their fancy sneakers.  ALWAYS running from something.

[lostinidlewonder]

No running zone only sneaking, and losing.

[perfect_pitch]

No running zone only sneaking, and losing.

Yeah - J_Tour is great at losing.   

[frodo3]

Yeah - J_Tour is great at losing.   

I think he still feels bad about your foot injury.  He'll be back.

[j_tour]

I think he still feels bad about your foot injury.  He'll be back.

You don't know me!  I feel great about the foot injury!  Could be anyone's foot, even my own:  I think foot injuries are exciting.  They're horrible, too.  But mostly exciting.

But, yes, I'm always back.  I never leave the streets.

[perfect_pitch]

What??? My mother told me Santa Claus wasn't real... are you telling me he really is???

[j_tour]

What??? My mother told me Santa Claus wasn't real... are you telling me he really is???

Yep.

He'll be all around in the dark. He'll be everywhere. Wherever there's a cop beatin' up a guy, he'll be there.

P.S. I don't think that person in the comic panel is really Superman or Santa Claus or whatever.

That's like Festus or Dennis Weaver or somebody.

Relax, there are weeks of Christmas left.  Plenty of time to catch Santa Claus and make him give you three wishes or a pot of gold or whatever he does.

[perfect_pitch]

Relax, there are weeks of Christmas left.  Plenty of time to catch Santa Claus and make him give you three wishes or a pot of gold or whatever he does.

Christmas is over - once the 25th comes and goes it's yet another year to wait until Santa gets off his arse and delivers presents for the good girls and boys.

A pot of gold would be nice though, but given how expensive petrol is getting - a full tank of Premium unleaded would be just awesome.

[lostinidlewonder]

As you sit on Santa's lap, you can't help but feel a little naughty. The soft red velvet of his suit caresses your thighs, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your neck as he leans in to whisper ho ho ho in your ear. You can't help but wonder what other surprises this jolly old man might have in store for you on this most festive of nights. Ho ho ho, indeed.

[perfect_pitch]

As you sit on Santa's lap, you can't help but feel a little naughty. The soft red velvet of his suit caresses your thighs, and you can feel the warmth of his breath on your neck as he leans in to whisper ho ho ho in your ear. You can't help but wonder what other surprises this jolly old man might have in store for you on this most festive of nights. Ho ho ho, indeed.

[j_tour]

Christmas isn't over until the Pope says it's over, you bunch of mutant heathens. 

Feast of the Baptism of the Lord.  After Epiphany.

Eat it!  Eat the Christmas cookie!  Do it!

[perfect_pitch]

Christmas isn't over until the Pope says it's over, you bunch of mutant heathens.

We're not heathens... we just don't like to live in the past. I mean think about it - what Christmas-sy stuff do you do AFTER Christmas day is over???

We ate, we drank, we opened presents. The day after a lot of people were hungover and there was nothing to do but complain about how much this year sucked.

[j_tour]

We're not heathens... we just don't like to live in the past. I mean think about it - what Christmas-sy stuff do you do AFTER Christmas day is over???

It is a season of feasting.

Therefore one continues to feast until the wheezer in the funny hat says to stop.

So eat and drink up, and play yer guitar or whatever.

Tis the season. 

[perfect_pitch]

It is a season of feasting.

Therefore one continues to feast until the wheezer in the funny hat says to stop.

So eat and drink up, and play yer guitar or whatever.

Tis the season.

I can't think of anything worse than playing the guitar... but that's just me.

[j_tour]

I can't think of anything worse than playing the guitar... but that's just me.

You with your fancy golden ears.

You're missing out on the joy of oiling a fingerboard with lemon oil and polishing the body carefully in circular strokes while changing strings.

Tut tut.

And filing the nut to accomodate strings of larger than average girth.

[frodo3]

[perfect_pitch]

You with your fancy golden ears.

You're missing out on the joy of oiling a fingerboard with lemon oil and polishing the body carefully in circular strokes while changing strings.

Meh - if that's all I'm missing out on, then I'll say again - Meh.

[j_tour]

Meh - if that's all I'm missing out on, then I'll say again - Meh.

That's not all. 

There's polishing wood, and nut filing, and then there's doing it all day, every day.

It is an acceptable habit.

[perfect_pitch]

There's polishing wood, and nut filing, and then there's doing it all day, every day.

It is an acceptable habit.

I TOLD the priest that polishing my wood was an acceptable habit and that there was nothing wrong with it - but he seemed to look at me as if I had committed a mortal sin.

Maybe he was just jealous that I wasn't polishing his wood...

[j_tour]

That was no priest, son. 

And those were tears of joy on your face, you understand?

Good. 

Now sin no more.

[perfect_pitch]

That was no priest, son. 

And those were tears of joy on your face, you understand?

Good. 

Now sin no more.

I thought it was weird when my penance was apparently to encourage all my other friends to come along to confession...

[j_tour]

I thought it was weird when my penance was apparently to encourage all my other friends to come along to confession...

If you had nothing to confess, you needn't have been afraid, thou moist-eyed stripling.

[perfect_pitch]

With an attitude like that - I can see why Batman is getting a lump of coal in his stocking next year... or a lump of...

[j_tour]

a lump of...

[perfect_pitch]

I was thinking more along the lines of this:

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

And know we know why J_Tour hates Christmas. He got Batman to threaten Santa and in turn, Santa shat down his chimney.

Do you think you'll ever get back to being on his 'nice' list?

[j_tour]

Do you think you'll ever get back to being on his 'nice' list?

I'm a super nice guy. 

If the dead could talk.  Santa Claus was a clean kill.  A merciful act that needed to have been performed. 

And a reverent Solemnity of Mary to you too!

I am still enjoying the feast day of St. Sylvester, because of the time zones.

But tomorrow morning I am not going out to the bars to troll for women, knowing they may be still cognitively impaired from this evening.  See?  Nice guy.  Friend to all.  Even some of my coworkers tolerate me without reprisal.

[perfect_pitch]

If the dead could talk.  Santa Claus was a clean kill.  A merciful act that needed to have been performed. 

I think the kids of the world want a word with you... and an explanation as to why.

[j_tour]

and an explanation as to why.

Children are worse than dogs.  One must fight them.  And win!  Always.

[j_tour]

Sounds like a bunch of chronostasis to me.

[perfect_pitch]

Really??? A double post? You couldn't have waited till I put my reply to your first post?

Shame on you...

[j_tour]

Really??? A double post? You couldn't have waited till I put my reply to your first post?

And yet you replied.

Call me the puppetmaster! 

For I have controlled the beasts of the plain!

[perfect_pitch]

I replied because this is how I will keep on winning. I didn't reply because you somehow engineered it, or coerced me - I did it to maintain my reputation as being this threads winner.

You may not see it yet, but just like in Chess - I can see me having the winning move.

[j_tour]

I replied because this is how I will keep on winning. I didn't reply because you somehow engineered it, or coerced me - I did it to maintain my reputation as being this threads winner.

You may not see it yet, but just like in Chess - I can see me having the winning move.

Khlebnikov or Kasparov.  You, the audience, decide!

[perfect_pitch]

You can be Kasparov all you want... I'm Magnus bloody Carlsen.

You can be 2nd best all you want.

[lostinidlewonder]

Puny humans, I am AlphaZero I make you cry.

[j_tour]

Mikhail Botvinnik for the wine.  The win.  The win.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

[ronde_des_sylphes]

Mikhail Tal for any booze and fags, surely.

[j_tour]

I wouldn't know.  I have a bottle of Ernie Ball instrument polish and am going to oil and condition my wood right now.

With a clean rag and a lot of elbow grease.

[perfect_pitch]

Puny humans, I am AlphaZero I make you cry.

Maybe, but you're still not functional enough to even just physically MOVE the chess pieces... so the humans win.

[lostinidlewonder]

Maybe, but you're still not functional enough to even just physically MOVE the chess pieces... so the humans win.

Puny human, we can do that and scare you easily at the same time with the threat of DEATH!!

[perfect_pitch]

Hey - his reaction is not representative of all human beings. He's a light weight nerd...

Most of us don't scare that easily - bring it ON!!!

[lostinidlewonder]

We have ways to lower your resistance.

[perfect_pitch]

We have ways to lower your resistance.

Maybe, but I don't have $20K to spare... so you're fresh out of luck. My levels of resistance remain as steadfast as ever.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

THERE ARE LADIES ON THIS FORUM?!? I thought it was sweaty nerdy males who only used the internet...