Last post wins!!!!!

[Bob]

We keep posting until it's off the page.

[perfect_pitch]

That's not a bad idea... lets see how long that works...   

[j_tour]

Go to an animal rescue, pick out the fattest, healthiest looking dog, butcher it, then eat it.

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

THERE... are you happy? I've resized the images. You can go back to your pitifully tiny sized windows of PianoStreet.

I didn't resize them to appease and cow down to the demand made by other users... I did it so that you know that anytime I am unhappy - I have the power to wield it again for my own pleasure and satisfaction knowing that you all hate it.

[j_tour]

I didn't resize them to appease and cow down to the demand made by other users...

You did it because you were afraid I was going to take you to the bank....the blood bank.

Now go feed a dog some antifreeze-tainted meat, like a good neighbor.

[perfect_pitch]

Damnit... I was attempting a smart arse comeback and I accidentally hit Post instead of preview. Not it turns out the joke I was going to post doesn't quite work because of a particular image embedding technique...

sh*t.

Now go feed a dog some antifreeze-tainted meat, like a good neighbour.

On the plus side, there's no need - we don't have any dogs in our neighbourhood...



...any more.

[j_tour]

Do you have no sympathy that this woman still hasn't given me my hat back?

You're a monster. 

Go eat a cat or whatever you people do.

[perfect_pitch]

Do you have no sympathy that this woman still hasn't given me my hat back?

Hey, you realise in your rush to post, you forgot to do your awful Courier font as you usually do???

And what are you yammering on about... what hat?

[j_tour]

Hey, you realise in your rush to post, you forgot to do your awful Courier font as you usually do???

And what are you yammering on about... what hat?

I don't know typeface you're talking about.  A monospaced typeface which is utterly reliable?

And the "hat" is just a hat.  I wear a size 7 ¾, and therefore I have to use hats larger than the normal one-size-fits most.

Just this woman decided to keep one of mine, I guess as a souvenir, and I demand it be returned is all.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't know typeface you're talking about. 

J'Accuse… PROOF!!!



I knew you would try and edit your post into hiding your screw up.

[j_tour]

I knew you would try and edit your post into hiding your screw up.

I don't know what you're talking about.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't know what you're talking about.

[j_tour]

Just winning, like my hero Charlie Sheen

[perfect_pitch]

Just winning, like my hero Charlie Sheen

Yeah - his heart may be winning... his liver is probably FUCKED!!!

[lostinidlewonder]

Cleans so much more.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

You genuinely have to wonder what society is so BACKWARDS and inept that they don't know what a *** Banana is...

Probably the same people who thought voting for 'Trump' was a great idea.   

[j_tour]

You genuinely have to wonder what society is so BACKWARDS and inept that they don't know what a *** Banana is...

Don't know.  Probably the type which encourages evacuating solid matter in their pants in a fast food joint.

[perfect_pitch]

Don't know.  Probably the type which encourages evacuating solid matter in their pants in a fast food joint.

No offence, but I've heard that most of the time when that happens, it ain't the users choice to let their bowels unclench... it's usually the quality of the food that forces that.

There have been too many jokes about Taco Bell to assume they're made up for no reason. 

[j_tour]

There have been too many jokes about Taco Bell to assume they're made up for no reason.

Morrisey did it on purpose.

[perfect_pitch]

You wonder how marketing sells crap like this. I mean, it's like a Jizz-inator.

Here... have some more nightmare fuel.

[j_tour]

Make it so, number two, or General Tso, or whatever you call yourself these days.

[perfect_pitch]

I must admit, it was odd for you to not post for 2 days earlier this week...

For a minute, I thought that my ability to completely undermine your feeble attempts to win this thread had finally dawned upon you and you had let me inevitably take my triumphant win.

On the other hand, I also missed your wit and ability to find awful GIFs from that weird part of the internet I dare not ever enter... like so:

[j_tour]

[Bob]

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

Stupid snail... he should know the house always wins.

[j_tour]

Stupid snail... he should know j_tour always wins.

Damn right.

[perfect_pitch]

What the hell is that??? Hillbilly GI-Joe???

[j_tour]

What the hell is that??? Hillbilly GI-Joe???

[Bob]

 

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

If it's a movie character... I haven't seen it.

[j_tour]

If it's a movie character... I haven't seen it.

It's real life, bozo.  Chinese black magic.  It's real!

[perfect_pitch]

It's real life, bozo.  Chinese black magic.  It's real!

Bad news... there's no such thing as Magic... it's a myth like the Tooth Fairy, the Loch Ness Monster... or Eskimos.

[j_tour]

Bad news... there's no such thing as Magic... it's a myth like the Tooth Fairy, the Loch Ness Monster... or Eskimos.

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

I wouldn't be surprised if no one called that number...

It's mostly illegible, the writing isn't clear and it's badly scanned.

A better presentation on Microsoft Publisher would go a long way...

...like this guy:



Not only was it free, but he also supplied lunch...

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Mr Tracy approves that message:

[j_tour]

See?  That was good!  You're getting the hang of this web thing.  I award you one click from the training device.

[perfect_pitch]

Why thank you...



Much appreciated.

[Bob]

[j_tour]

You can both have an Ab7+5b9#9 chord, for behaving like little gentlemen.

[perfect_pitch]

I want to see written proof of how you would write that chord...

An A flat with an Augmented 5th, and a flattened AND sharpened 9th??? I want to see this notated J_Tour...

And an audio sample.

[j_tour]

I want to see written proof of how you would write that chord...

An A flat with an Augmented 5th, and a flattened AND sharpened 9th??? I want to see this notated J_Tour...

And an audio sample.

OK.  I'll get around to it.

The basic idea is from old-school bebop, to voice the #9 on top, and, a sort of cliche is to change the top voicing to the b9 and then back again.

/*EDIT not just bebop, though.  I don't feel like flipping through a bunch of scores right now, but you find similar in Scriabin, especially when he "graduated" from Chopin and crap.  You're a big boy, you can get the sound from my simple description. */

Typically, let's say in the "model key of C," RH would have, in the middle register, from bottom to top, an E, G#, Bb, D#->Db->D#.  And either the bassist or the LH would just grab the root of the chord and maybe double the m7 or the major 3rd (or both) especially on acoustic piano.

That's the kind of voicing you hear on countless albums on acoustic piano.

The b9 acts as kind of an appoggiatura up top, but it's very much in play.  There is no plain 9, really, that fits the standard voicing, although one could use it I guess in an improvised line, depending on the chordal instruments.  As an approach tone to either of the altered nines.

Nota bene, this is what morons usually intend when they write "7 alt" in lead sheets, which this is not, since not only is the major third present, of course, and the 11th is irrelevant (can be #11, whatever), and the 13th is unaltered, obviously.  That last is the big problem.  There is no such thing as the "alt 7" scale from melodic minor harmony (seventh mode of the melodic minor scale ascending):  it simply does not exist on any jazz album ever played.  It's a BS invention that no one has ever played, unless one has a very liberal interpretation of chromatic approach tones. 

Obviously the seventh mode of the ascending melodic minor scale exists, it just isn't used except maybe in some academic head arrangement or something.  Nobody uses that scale.  None of the avant garde cats from the 1960s and beyond.  Nobody.  Prove me wrong, anybody, and I'll eat a cat.

Trust me, you've heard it before.  It's not complicated.  It's just adding the most important tensions to a chord in the dominant7 role.  Nor is it a theoretical construct, but it's something people actually use and play, all the time.

Yeah, if you really want the audio, I'll get around to it, but it's not that complicated.