Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Never mind.  I'm on team Djokovic.  Mirabile dictu, but Federer is riding off into the sunset.

I see you've dumped typing in your usual font... is it late at night that you forgot, or you just couldn't care anymore???

And anyway... Tennis is boring. All they do is try to hit it back and forth to each other until one person accidentally sneezes or blinks and loses track of the ball.

[j_tour]

I see you've dumped typing in your usual font... is it late at night that you forgot, or you just couldn't care anymore???

No.  It was a ruse. 

Anyway, I had a lot of stuff to do.

I had to start braising the beef, pork butt, and veal shanks in the tomato sauce. It was Michael’s favorite, I was making zitti with the meat gravy and I was planning to roast some peppers over the flames and I was gonna put on some string beans with some olive oil and garlic and I had some beautiful cutlets that were cut just right that I was gonna fry up for before dinner just as an appetizer.  My plan was to start the dinner early, so Karen and I could go unload the guns that Jimmy didn't want, and get the package for Judy to take to Atlanta later that night.

On top of having done that I have to still bask in my glory over defeating that woman I know and enjoy my victory, played by my own rules.

A Pyrrhic victory, but, still, I won.

They're will be others.  Just don't kiss them on the mouth.  That's my new rule.

[perfect_pitch]

I had to start braising the beef, pork butt, and veal shanks in the tomato sauce. It was Michael’s favorite, I was making zitti with the meat gravy and I was planning to roast some peppers over the flames and I was gonna put on some string beans with some olive oil and garlic and I had some beautiful cutlets that were cut just right that I was gonna fry up for before dinner just as an appetizer.  My plan was to start the dinner early, so Karen and I could go unload the guns that Jimmy didn't want, and get the package for Judy to take to Atlanta later that night.

I don't know where you come up with this sh*t... have you thought of writing a book???

[j_tour]

I don't know where you come up with this sh*t... have you thought of writing a book???

That's a lot of effort, man.  It would cut down on my pool playing and beer drinking time.  Can't have it.

[perfect_pitch]

That's a lot of effort, man.  It would cut down on my pool playing and beer drinking time.  Can't have it.

Maybe, but you can still write a book and drink beer at the same time. And anyway, Pool's not that fun. It's like trying to cheat people into understanding physics while hitting balls into holes.

[j_tour]

And anyway, Pool's not that fun. It's like trying to cheat people into understanding physics while hitting balls into holes.

That's the way bikers and hillbillies play pool.  Banging balls into little pockets.  That's not the way the game is played, son.

And it's a good way to pick up acquire pregnant dogs, as well as being a cerebral, physical test of skill and subtlety.

[perfect_pitch]

And it's a good way to pick up acquire pregnant dogs, as well as being a cerebral, physical test of skill and subtlety.

Sure... that's what women look for in a man. A guy who can hold a long, stiff, erect, shaft of wood in their hands as they try to knock a white ball into a hole.

 

[j_tour]

Right.  All women are rock hos and all men are bogans, is what you're saying, I suppose.  Maybe you should up your game.

[perfect_pitch]

I am beginning to see why you have trouble attracting the right woman J_Tour if that's your personal ad.

[j_tour]

I am beginning to see why you have trouble attracting the right woman J_Tour if that's your personal ad.

Nonsense.  I attract the right women.  It's easy.

[perfect_pitch]

Nonsense.  I attract the right women.  It's easy.

Mmm... because what women doesn't love seeing that scrawled on a cubicle wall or stand in the ladies bathroom.

My question is, how did you get into the ladies restrooms to chisel that onto the walls in the first place?!?

[j_tour]

Mmm... because what women doesn't love seeing that scrawled on a cubicle wall or stand in the ladies bathroom.

My question is, how did you get into the ladies restrooms to chisel that onto the walls in the first place?!?

I'm allowed.  A little cross-dressing, a little careful application of tape to the wang, a nice wig.

I'm the ladies' crapper's best customer.

I make it smell like man musk and meat:  the ladies love it, but they'll never know!

I know you know what I'm talking about:  it's OK.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm allowed.  A little cross-dressing, a little careful application of tape to the wang, a nice wig.

I'm the ladies' crapper's best customer.

I make it smell like man musk and meat:  the ladies love it, but they'll never know!

I know you know what I'm talking about:  it's OK.

I dread to think what happens in your dark, sordid little mind...

[j_tour]

I dread to think what happens in your dark, sordid little mind...

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

It's not a lie, if you believe it.

[perfect_pitch]

All I can imagine when I see that is you standing with a rag soaked in chloroform in one hand, and a scalpel in the other.

[Bob]

*Bob protects the final post on the thread.*

*And Bob knows the mp4 won't post anyway.*

https://i.imgur.com/PU0zV5q.mp4

[j_tour]

Stop!  I only did two of the things on my list today.

[perfect_pitch]

No wonder you have so much time to post on here, if that's all you do.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

I love how you post pictures like this, while having a signature that says:

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

So ironic. So bad words make you sad???

Well...

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

The loveheart really takes away the brutality of the message and makes it perfectly okay.

 

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

CHRIST... at the speed he reads the weather report - I'm not surprised it wasn't already the 14th July when he finished talking.

(Also... who the *** is David Lynch, and what Meteorological qualifications does he have?)

[j_tour]

(Also... who the *** is David Lynch, and what Meteorological qualifications does he have?)

You're the disease.  And I'm the cure.  Also brush and floss your teeth more than once a day, slacker.

[perfect_pitch]

Wow... just in time. David Lynch had just finished informing me about yesterdays weather.

[lostinidlewonder]

I wonder whether the wether should be out in this weather?

[j_tour]

Uncle Meat says not to worry about it.

[lostinidlewonder]

One of the most interesting chords you can play with your LH.

[j_tour]

One of the most interesting chords you can play with your LH.

[lostinidlewonder]

Mr Santamaria used to dail a lot of numbers by the looks of the bandages on fingers. At least with the internet we can make free calls now. People should just not accept reverse charges then they won't have to bother with self help groups.

[perfect_pitch]

Mmm... No. 5 definitely. While most people think that rare is better, I prefer my meat to be completely and utterly DEAD!!!

No way you can get salmonella.

[j_tour]

Mmm... No. 5 definitely.

I find the pinky more useful than the ring finger, therefore I cook the latter the most, depriving it of its sanguine essence.

[lostinidlewonder]

I prefer to poke peoples eyes out with 2 and 3.

Or just 2 is pretty funny too.

[j_tour]

[compline]

Ego trip, for another  of Darwin's  failures.

[j_tour]

[Bob]

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/TautBriefIrishdraughthorse-mobile.mp4


I'm not even trying with that one.  Why is it always an mp4...?  I'm not looking for another one.  The site needs to be function with mp4s.

[j_tour]

The site needs to be function with mp4s.

[perfect_pitch]

Okay - we don't need one of these a day... Hell, we don't need one of these... EVER!

I don't know why David Lynch is doing weather forecasts... SERIOUSLY!

[j_tour]

Okay - we don't need one of these a day.

Eat one.  Every day. 

You must consume a David Lynch weather report.

Each day. 

Eat it.

Eat the weather report, then expel it from your bowels.

Be the weather report you'd like to see.  Be the change you'd like from a weather report.

[perfect_pitch]

Eat the weather report, then expel it from your bowels.

Be the weather report you'd like to see.  Be the change you'd like from a weather report.

Oh I'm sorry, I was confused. I thought the video was the end result of someone expelling it from their bowels.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

What are you a commie or something?  It's David Lynch spreading the message of joy through factual reports of the weather in UTC -7.



Besides, do you see what I'm forced to drink?  Misercordia, you donkey.  Show some compassion, you villain.

[lostinidlewonder]

[perfect_pitch]

What are you a commie or something?  It's David Lynch spreading the message of joy through factual reports of the weather in UTC -7.



Besides, do you see what I'm forced to drink?  Misercordia, you donkey.  Show some compassion, you villain.

[j_tour]

Some person: