Last post wins!!!!!

[lostinidlewonder]

"You have to accept"

That's when it gets fun, let's talk about exactly what you mean by "accept".

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, I prefer to live in denial.

I don't have to accept anything.

[j_tour]

The Karen requires it.  Succumb and accept its very real, large, huge concerns, baggage, requirements.

You are to accept The Karen or you will summon The Supervisor.

[perfect_pitch]

Ooooooh, the Supervisor...

[j_tour]

Laugh a while you can, monkey boy!



/* edit.  Oh, almost forgot, before it's midnight: 

*/

[Bob]

This is an mp4 URL.  It doesn't like function like the gif you embedded.  The site should be able to display embedded mp4 files like this.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/TautBriefIrishdraughthorse-mobile.mp4

[j_tour]

This is an mp4 URL.  It doesn't like function like the gif you embedded.  The site should be able to display embedded mp4 files like this.

Yes, I understand that.  For once I won't be sarcastic or engage in elder abuse, but so the site doesn't play nice with random mp4 files?

Do you think it's Jonny Lee Miller and Angelina Jolie and an élite squad of hackers who put the forum together? 

No, it's a packaged bit of kit.

For all I know there may be some good reasons that mp4s from unknown entities are not automatically played, as youtube videos typically are or small gif "memes."

Since imgur is no longer an acceptable hosting site for short videos, the options are somewhat limited as to free, widely accepted video hosting.  You could upload your .mp4 to youtube and link to that, and the board would embed it correctly.

You could, as well, convert the mp4 to a standard gif file using a bunch of layers in some software like the GIMP or whatever, but I wouldn't do that.

I don't like defending an institution from the "little guy," but I suppose the decision was made by the creators of the board software, which I guarantee is not anyone involved in this site, behind the scenes.

And, Laura Palmer, she's full of secrets. 

Garmanbozia to you too, pal.










HEY!  Bob!








Where are you Bob?










I think I see a little dirt under that fingernail, right there.









BOB!










You still there?












Let's rock!

[perfect_pitch]

Yes, I understand that.  For once I won't be sarcastic or engage in elder abuse, but so the site doesn't play nice with random mp4 files?

For all I know there may be some good reasons that mp4s from unknown entities are not automatically played, as youtube videos typically are or small gif "memes."

You gotta admit though - if we could add in MP4's, it would add a whole new dimension to our thread here.

[j_tour]

You gotta admit though - if we could add in MP4's, it would add a whole new dimension to our thread here.

Bob.  Bob.  Kindly Bob.  Fond Bob.

What in the hell kind of dodgy mp4 are you trying to sneak on this family-friendly message board?

Tut tut.

I won't stand for it! 

[j_tour]

Oh, you aren't Bob.






Where's Bob??






Where is he??



Yob, the board doesn't take mp4.  So what?

Si señor, the board, she only take the gif, mang!

[perfect_pitch]

Don't worry, Bob is safe and sound. No need to worry.

Bob will show his face eventually.

[j_tour]

Don't worry, Bob is safe and sound. No need to worry.

Bob will show his face eventually.

Here kitty kitty!  Here kitty kitty!

[perfect_pitch]

It may surprise you J_Tour to know...

...that Bob, is NOT a cat.

[j_tour]

I know that.  I was just trying to piss you off with a cat picture.

Go watch a movie or something:  it's still an hour or so until David Lynch releases his weather report for today.















wait for it













wait for it










BOOYA!

[Bob]

It may surprise you J_Tour to know...

...that Bob, is NOT a cat.

I'm here... live.  I'm not a cat.

[perfect_pitch]

Okay J_Tour, you'd posted like 5 David Lynch videos now. Keep your material fresh and new.

Otherwise you're like that sad old comedian who holds onto his material from 20 years ago, hoping to just ride the wave of fame on his one-hit wonder.

[j_tour]

I'd be a terrible person....errrr.....it wouldn't be right to deprive the world of the daily weather report.

That would be wrong.

Besides, you can gloat that you're technically "ahead" of the United States and Europe and the UK, temporally speaking, and view it as a message from the not-so-distant past.

And Bob is so a cat:  he just said so.  One must read between the lines.

Otherwise you're like that sad old comedian who holds onto his material from 20 years ago, hoping to just ride the wave of fame on his one-hit wonder.

Like your hero Jerry Seinfeld?

[lostinidlewonder]

[Wearing sunglasses indoors is not a viable option. A 2015 study published in Elsevier Survey of Ophthalmology concluded that, “the use of sunglasses indoors must be strongly discouraged. By wearing dark sunglasses indoors, patients are dark adapting their retinas and aggravating their sensitivity to light.”]

[j_tour]

[Wearing sunglasses indoors is not a viable option. A 2015 study published in Elsevier Survey of Ophthalmology concluded that, “the use of sunglasses indoors must be strongly discouraged. By wearing dark sunglasses indoors, patients are dark adapting their retinas and aggravating their sensitivity to light.”]

Tell that to Jake and Elwood, man!

I think the Survey of Opthalmology must have comprised a bunch of squares.

NERRRRRRRRRDS!!!!!!

Also........I'm Batman.

[lostinidlewonder]

You should stop drawing on mummy's mirror.

[perfect_pitch]

[Wearing sunglasses indoors is not a viable option. A 2015 study published in Elsevier Survey of Ophthalmology concluded that, “the use of sunglasses indoors must be strongly discouraged. By wearing dark sunglasses indoors, patients are dark adapting their retinas and aggravating their sensitivity to light.”]

Don't be as bad as those arseholes who sign up to the forum and just copy-paste a previous thread or message. That's just low.

I'd be a terrible person....errrr.....it wouldn't be right to deprive the world of the daily weather report.

Yes, but it has no relevance. I bet you don't even live in the same city or state as him, so what relevance is it to you?

Like your hero Jerry Seinfeld?

He's moved onto other things. Have you NOT seen Coffee with comedians in cars??? Several seasons, and he's still just living life normally since he's still raking in money from Seinfeld re-runs.

[lostinidlewonder]

Don't be as bad as those arseholes who sign up to the forum and just copy-paste a previous thread or message. That's just low.

It still wins

[j_tour]

You people are doing it all wrong.  May you follow this advice the rest of your days.

[perfect_pitch]

People that come up with sh*t like this... need to be sterilised so that they may not pass on their stupidity to other generations.

Hopefully in 50-100 years, stupid people may finally one day be extinct and a new era of mankind can hold their head up high, and no longer have to watch idiotic videos on YouTube of people doing failed 'Grinds' which end them up in hospital because they slid off and injured their crotch (incidentally possibly doing the same job as sterilising themselves), or people who think it's funny to try and chip-shot a golf ball into their friends mouth.

I dream that this can ultimately happen... one day.

Also, hopefully those fuckheads at DudePerfect will all be dead, and no one will give a sh*t anymore that they filmed 317 attempts trying to kick a Basketball into a hoop from 100 yards away, and the one time they actually do it - they run around like drunken fratboys with their crotch on fire, who seem to have nothing else fulfilling in their lives.

[j_tour]

blah blah blah something something yes I know people are idiots that's why it's funny blah blah blah

Yes.  But I'm Batman.  And my crotch is on fire.  I blame sorcery.  And the town pump.  Possibly spicy foods.

[lostinidlewonder]

You people are doing it all wrong.  May you follow this advice the rest of your days.

Stairs don't like to be used, they have feeling as well you know. UFOs are real you know too. Just use UFOs.

[perfect_pitch]

And thus... Exhibit A, about what is wrong with the world.

And if your crotch is on fire... I would happily put it out for you...

...with a mallet...

...that nails glued to the surface of it...

...and if the mallet was covered with flesh-eating bacteria...

On second thought... I'd rather just see you writhe around in agony.

[j_tour]

On second thought... I'd rather just see you writhe around in agony.

You, sir, are no gentleman.  For that you must suffer.

And also, I am not Batman.  I am Supercrotch.  From the future.

Stairs don't like to be used, they have feeling as well you know. UFOs are real you know too. Just use UFOs.

I know nothing!  And I welcome the aliens who come in peace but wield great retributive powers.  With their gray, flaccid bodies, elongated skulls, and dark eyes.  They are the resurrection of the dead and herald a time of final judgment and recompense.

[perfect_pitch]

Seriously... where in THE HOLY ***... do you find this stuff???

I know the internet is a dark, dark place - but there are places that I dare not venture, but somehow you paddle in their filth and embrace the darkness.

[lostinidlewonder]

And I welcome the aliens who come in peace but wield great retributive powers.  With their gray, flaccid bodies, elongated skulls, and dark eyes.  They are the resurrection of the dead and herald a time of final judgment and recompense.

Don't be impressed by shiny objects, they're just there to distract you. What is contained inside will be meant for misuse.

[j_tour]

Don't be impressed by shiny objects, they're just there to distract you. What is contained inside will be meant for misuse.

HEY.  Hey Bob.  Bob.


Hey!


Hey Bob!

Bob!


Hey!

Just said "full of secrets."

Yeah?

I know.

Hey!

Hey!

HEY!

Hey Bob.

Full of secrets.

[lostinidlewonder]

Are you bobbing in a vat of oil or something?

[j_tour]

Are you bobbing in a vat of oil or something?

It is called preparation for a confit, and it is to be very special preparation undertaking as it must over several of the weeks, she must, the leg, be submerged.

You anglo people do not know but how to boil the bunnies in the water and serve it to guests!  Astonishing, anyone would say, even school childs from the small towns. 

Poirot?  Yes, he is of not this land, but the other, but even he know, which end to boiling the eggs.

Yes?  You see even that the English in short video, yes, she know, you must use the fork.

Final point! 

No.  Counter points?  There is none! 

[lostinidlewonder]

You anglo people do not know but how to boil the bunnies in the water and serve it to guests!

I don't have anglo blood in me but I like their language. Rabbit starvation is a real thing.

[j_tour]

I don't have anglo blood in me but I like their language. Rabbit starvation is a real thing.

Rabbits are peasant food. 

Dine upon the regal equine member, filled with sinew and strength, thou knave, and be still with thy protuberant visage.

[lostinidlewonder]

I think you should just stick to Fish Sticks.

[perfect_pitch]

FAKE... If you're going to post an image - make sure it's factual first for goodness sake.

https://www.hoaxorfact.com/pranks/florida-man-dies-attempting-to-microwave-a-microwave.html

Now this however, is a perfectly satirical version of the news.

I laughed my sorry arse off.

[j_tour]

spam

[lostinidlewonder]

Yeah I think whatever most likely.

[perfect_pitch]

You DO realise I only ever played the first David Lynch video, and haven't touched the others - and REFUSE to.

You can post one every day, but know deep down that NO ONE is watching it here on this board.

[j_tour]

You DO realise I only ever played the first David Lynch video, and haven't touched the others - and REFUSE to.

You can post one every day, but know deep down that NO ONE is watching it here on this board.

But the child must live!

And I watch the child.

I satisfy myself with great draughts of pleasantry.

You may go now, you despicable entrail, and sin no more.

And you've not taken your medicine. 

I can tell.

[perfect_pitch]

You may go now, you despicable entrail, and sin no more.

Where's the fun in that... I like to sin.

[j_tour]

Where's the fun in that... I like to sin.

Then you must perish!  In the flames of hell!

[perfect_pitch]

Then you must perish!  In the flames of hell!

[j_tour]

“My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.”

[lostinidlewonder]

Try eating them without the package on, then they wont have to spent so much time picking out the plastic between your teeth.

[perfect_pitch]

“My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.”

My Dental hygienist is in her 50's, so there's no real appeal.

However, my optometrist said to me in my first appointment that I had a really lovely macula.

I knew she was a genuine professional right there, right then.

[j_tour]

However, my optometrist said to me in my first appointment that I had a really lovely macula.

That's an unfortunate term of art, if you know what it means in latin.

My optometrist is really cute.  So before I go in for an exam, I put a few drops of liquid acid in each eye in order to confuse her.











wait for it









boo-ya.  It's howdy doody pregnant cat time!
 

[Bob]

[j_tour]

That ain't no garmanbozia like I never seen, I tell you what. 

Here, rebuild my Wurlitzer 700A, boy.  And none of that sass mouth neither.