Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Damnit - I had forgotten about that Simpsons scene. I miss the old episodes. They were funny, brilliantly written and epic.

After season 11, it just went downhill. I believe this is just on the cusp of when the Simpsons gave up on things.

[j_tour]

Dude *The Simpsons* are like...not even...it's like...so old!  It's like grody, man!  Ancient!  I can't even find it on my phone!  Isn't there something new on, like an actual video game you can play?  Srsly.  You guys are like this, all weirding me out and stuff.

[perfect_pitch]

Dude *The Simpsons* are like...not even...it's like...so old!  It's like grody, man!  Ancient!  I can't even find it on my phone!  Isn't there something new on, like an actual video game you can play?  Srsly.  You guys are like this, all weirding me out and stuff.

IT'S *** CLASSIC!!! Don't you DARE SLANDER The Simpsons.

[j_tour]

IT'S *** CLASSIC!!! Don't you DARE SLANDER The Simpsons.

Eat my shorts, dude!   

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

Fine.  Have some 60 proof.  That's about your level, boy!   

[perfect_pitch]

That weak-arse sh*t is for those who can't handle real whiskey without being diluted.

I take my whiskey the same way, I like my women... straight.     

[j_tour]

I take my whiskey the same way, I like my women...straight!

Well, that may be, but I'm all about taking them neat.  The whiskies, I mean, of course.  Neat:  tidy and clean, to better appreciate the aroma.  Occasionally a drop or two of water.

I don't know what kind washes up on the shores down under, but I'd just as soon go without!

[perfect_pitch]

Australia isn't so backwards that we can't import some great whiskies. The Scots and the Irish all love to export as they know it will bring in the moolah.

I once had the luxury of trying Johnnie Walker Blue and my gosh - it goes down as easy as water.

[j_tour]

Australia isn't so backwards that we can't import some great whiskies. The Scots and the Irish all love to export as they know it will bring in the moolah.

Geez, man!  I lied!  I was talking about women!  And my preference that they be neat!  And wondering what kind washes up down under, "in Oz!"  Gah, try to keep up, man!   

[perfect_pitch]

We have Kylie Minogue and Margot Robbie... we win.

[j_tour]

We have Kylie Minogue and Margot Robbie... we win.

You win what?  Scabies?  Mange?  I take my liquids neat, thank you very much.

[perfect_pitch]

You said you don't drink libations.

A real man drinks hard liquor and gets on with his day.

[j_tour]

You said you don't drink libations.

Well that's not true!  I'm just ordered by the court to submit to random observed ethylglucuronide (EtG) urine analyses, and to have a breathalyzer installed in my vehicle!

Those fools can't stop me!

[perfect_pitch]

And HOW do you expect to get passed the Breathalyser??? You don't honestly expect to pay random strangers or hobos $5 just so they'll blow into your device, do you???

Or are you expecting to do that once, blow into it when you're clean and just leave the car idling in the driveway when you're not using it???

[j_tour]

And HOW do you expect to get passed the Breathalyser??? You don't honestly expect to pay random strangers or hobos $5 just so they'll blow into your device, do you???

Or are you expecting to do that once, blow into it when you're clean and just leave the car idling in the driveway when you're not using it???

There's a camera, and retests are required at random intervals while driving. 

Attempts to tamper with or subvert the system are in themselves serious matters.

I'm starting to think you're not a real drinker.  This is beginning level stuff, man!

[perfect_pitch]

Oh... I'm a drinker... but I'm also smart enough never to have been caught drink-driving... nor have I actually ever driven drunk.

And anyway - Uber isn't that expensive if you've had one or seventeen too many.

[j_tour]

And anyway - Uber isn't that expensive if you've had one or seventeen too many.

Uber? 

Sit in some untrained citizen's disgusting car in exchange for money? 

Do you have taxicabs down under, or is there are shortage of professional, credentialed drivers?

[perfect_pitch]

The reputation of taxi drivers has taken a rather large nose-dive in the last few years so Uber is far superior. The smart ones have become Uber drivers, while the lazy ones fob you off, tell you they're coming then never show up.

I'll take an Uber anyday of the week... and considering you also get to rate them on professionalism and cleanliness of the car - it's better than most taxis as well. They have a reputation to maintain.

[j_tour]

The reputation of taxi drivers has taken a rather large nose-dive in the last few years so Uber is far superior.

Whatevs.  Well, I'm extremely happy with one of my local cab companies, and I've never met an Uber/Lyft driver who was anything but an idiotic slob with a massive sense of entitlement.

There's a reason important driving contracts go to established companies and their drivers, and not to some doofus deluding himself or herself that he or she is a real go-getter, a mogul of small enterprise.

[perfect_pitch]

Whatevs.  Well, I'm extremely happy with one of my local cab companies, and I've never met an Uber/Lyft driver who was anything but an idiotic slob with a massive sense of entitlement.

There's a reason important driving contracts go to established companies and their drivers, and not to some doofus deluding himself or herself that he or she is a real go-getter, a mogul of small enterprise

We all know how most missing persons stories start. Officer, my friend got into a cab and was never seen again...

At least Uber rides are tracked.

[j_tour]

At least Uber rides are tracked.

Sure they are.  What are you shilling for some little techbro scrub of a company or something?  Maybe you can lose your virginity in the backseat of an Uber ride.  Aspirations are good!

[perfect_pitch]

Maybe you can lose your virginity in the backseat of an Uber ride.  Aspirations are good!

Oh... I lost that well before Uber came onto the scene.

[j_tour]

Oh... I lost that well before Uber came onto the scene.

You were impregnated by an Uber driver.  Good to know the source of your senseless devotion.

I think you should invest heavily in cryptocurrency.

[perfect_pitch]

Screw that - investing in Crypto is like throwing your money. Yes, it could go up, but given how much hackers are trying to adopt it as their main sense of currency - I see it have a MAJOR downturn very, very soon.

I make my money the old fashioned way - hard work, and I get paid in happiness.

...and cash, sorry - I also forgot cash. Very important.

[j_tour]

Screw that - investing in Crypto is like throwing your money. Yes, it could go up, but given how much hackers are trying to adopt it as their main sense of currency - I see it have a MAJOR downturn very, very soon.

Very soon?  It's already garbage, and always has been.  Just like all those other techdudebro crap companies like Uber, Twitter, Tesla, and so forth.

Invest in real estate, mineral rights, and musical instruments.

[perfect_pitch]

Very soon?  It's already garbage, and always has been.  Just like all those other techdudebro crap companies like Uber, Twitter, Tesla, and so forth.

Oh... no. Tesla is going to hit big. I mean, given that they're aiming for self-driving cars, and this is indeed the way of the future, he's going to crush it and make billions.

I'd invest in it, but as you said - I'm putting my money in my house since I still need to pay it off, but Tesla is going to be around for decades making it big.

[j_tour]

Tesla is going to be around for decades making it big.

Sure.  Keep following your dreams, kiddo.

I have no doubt you'll "make it big," fo sho'.  With the aid of like-minded individuals, you can grow your assets plenty.

Elmo "il Duce" Tusk seems like a caring, gentle man, who would support your dreams, unequivocally.

He is a big man, though:  prepare yourself for the encounter.

[perfect_pitch]

Do you also like it when men grasp you firmly??? Where do you get these comics from???

[j_tour]

Do you also like it when men grasp you firmly??? Where do you get these comics from???

You want to know?  Really?

I'll tell you, then.

You, all right?  I got them from watching you!

You're tearing me apart, with your lewd comments.....I'm going to cry!  Like Morrissey, even!  I know he's your hero....and I love him too!  I cried a little today!

Now I'm just so upset....I could go bush!  So upset!

[perfect_pitch]

I'm going to cry!  Like Morrissey, even!  I know he's your hero....and I love him too!  I cried a little today!

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

HEY... that's exactly what I think when I hear Sorabji...

Are you reading me thoughts???

GET OUT OF MY HEAD... GET OUT I SAY!!!

[lostinidlewonder]

[j_tour]

spam

[perfect_pitch]

Milt Hinton is going to come over, play the bass violin, and be very, very upset.

I don't often recycle memes, but in this case I kind of have to...



I sometimes wonder if you're a time traveller from the 1930's that somehow slipped almost 100 years into the future (our present), but can't get back to your home time... and I say that because of all the very antiquated old references you keep peddling.

Am I close???

[j_tour]

I sometimes wonder if you're a time traveller from the 1930's that somehow slipped almost 100 years into the future (our present), but can't get back to your home time... and I say that because of all the very antiquated old references you keep peddling.

Am I close???

You Simpson boy man from more a thirty a year ago make no funny!  You listen to Sxrxxxi now!

[perfect_pitch]

You Simpson boy man from more a thirty a year ago make no funny!  You listen to Sxrxxxi now!

I'm sorry - I tried Google translate and it told me to bugger off and that whatever that statement is... it could not be translated into English.

I don't even have any Sxrxbjx MP3's... however there is roadworks construction outside, so I might just sit my head next to the sound of the jackhammer. I'm sure they're almost similar in sound.   

 

[j_tour]

I don't even have any Sxrxbjx MP3's... however there is roadworks construction outside, so I might just sit my head next to the sound of the jackhammer. I'm sure they're almost similar in sound.   

 

Sounds like a sound idea.  Get that brain really hooked up to the inside of the skull by repeated sudden collisions.

It's the Sxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx way!

[perfect_pitch]

I really like this form of censorship. Just 'x' out the vowels and go with it.

'Fxck life and screw the wxnkxers who tear you down'.

[j_tour]

I really like this form of censorship. Just 'x' out the vowels and go with it.

'Fxck life and screw the wxnkxers who tear you down'.

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Damn... Phantom can hold a grudge.

Maybe he needs some tai-chi to relax or something.

[lostinidlewonder]

Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean.

[perfect_pitch]

No problem Lostinidlewonder... you take care of yourself - I'll hold things down here while you're getting your head right.

[j_tour]

[lostinidlewonder]

No problem Lostinidlewonder... you take care of yourself - I'll hold things down here while you're getting your head right.

I'm twirling towards it.

[perfect_pitch]

There's a reason this cartoon was brilliant in its heyday.

[j_tour]