Last post wins!!!!!

[lostinidlewonder]

I win, I'm king of the castle.

[perfect_pitch]

No offense, but if you're using Borat to try and highlight your argument - you've immediately lost.

[lostinidlewonder]

I don't take offence because you're a loser and my post wins again.

[j_tour]

I don't know about the orange... wish it was in blue instead.

Yes, I think blue pansies are indeed very dainty as well.

[perfect_pitch]

Who would have guessed pigs are cannibals. A pig eating hamburger... just shocking.

[j_tour]

Who would have guessed pigs are cannibals. A pig eating hamburger... just shocking.

Eats the meat between the buns.

I don't know what to think of pigs any more.  But I tolerate them!

[perfect_pitch]

Well... I'd rather be a carnivore anyway. If any sort of apocalypse arrives and diminshes the worlds food capacity... at least I know that if we run out of food - we can just eat a vegan.

It's not like they'd be willing to eat us.     

[j_tour]

Well... I'd rather be a carnivore anyway. If any sort of apocalypse arrives and diminshes the worlds food capacity... at least I know that if we run out of food - we can just eat a vegan.

It's not like they'd be willing to eat us.     

A confirmed eater of meat! 

To each his or her own, I say!  Vivre ta vie, mon pote!

[perfect_pitch]

A confirmed eater of meat! 

To each his or her own, I say!  Vivre ta vie, mon pote![/font]

EMBEDDING FAIL!!! Seriously J_Tour... given how many times you've lost to me and attempted to take back the win - I thought you would be better at this.

And yes, I am a carnivore... which is a lot different than saying I'm a sausage snogger; since they're 2 completely different things.

[j_tour]

EMBEDDING FAIL!!! Seriously J_Tour... given how many times you've lost to me and attempted to take back the win - I thought you would be better at this.

I don't know what you're talking about. 

But please keep pretending to win. 

It amuses me.

Who do you think you are, John Wick?

Hang that hat up, Kangaroo Jack!

[perfect_pitch]

I am John Wick... I am the beginning and the end... I am omnipotent... and I am a winner.

I'm not pretending to win... I just keep winning.



PS. Who the *** is Kangaroo Jack???

[j_tour]

PS. Who the *** is Kangaroo Jack???

Not John Wick.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah... no doubt - because I'm sure John Wick (a.k.a.) me, would have killed him and wouldn't give a crap who the hell he is.

[j_tour]

Yeah... no doubt - because I'm sure John Wick (a.k.a.) me, would have killed him

With a pencil?

Or with a part of the anatomy resembling a small pencil?

[perfect_pitch]

With a pencil?

Or with a part of the anatomy resembling a small pencil?

I've usually equated mine to say... the size of a tennis ball container.

But hey - they come in all types of shapes and sizes.

[lostinidlewonder]

With a pencil?

The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if it weighs several tonnes and crushes you dead.

[perfect_pitch]

The pen is mightier than the sword, especially if it weighs several tonnes and crushes you dead.

I don't meant to break it to you... but this:

...is a pencil... not a pen. Rather different. Clearly you don't know the difference between them... much like knowing the difference between 'attempted winning' and 'futile trying'.

[lostinidlewonder]

PEN, PENcil similar enough, might be hard for your losing brain though. Maybe you need to spend time in a pen until you learn? Here you go:


What about you who thinks you are John Wick and that "futile trying" about tennis ball containers? Maybe you don't know the difference between reality and imagination. If you want to start picking on what others say, you fail a huge amount and I win again.

[j_tour]

If you want to start picking on what others say, you fail a huge amount and I win again.

I think both of you are dangers to yourselves and others.

None of you alls got what enough sense to come out the rain and what more with trying at winning up the thread and such.

[lostinidlewonder]

...you alls

What in tarnation are y'all yammerin' 'bout, you crazy coot?

[perfect_pitch]

None of you alls got what enough sense to come out the rain and what more with trying at winning up the thread and such.

I'm sorry - can we get a translator? I don't speak 'hick'.

[j_tour]

I'm sorry - can we get a translator? I don't speak 'hick'.

Well I can't translate it into bogan, so use your imagination!

And...Brahms for the magisterial win!

[perfect_pitch]

I don't know what piece that is... is that one of his symphonies???

[lostinidlewonder]

magisterial win!

Waste of material more like it.

[perfect_pitch]

magisterial win!

Salami Tiger Win

Aren't anagrams fun.   

[lostinidlewonder]

Oh yeah they are so much fun. You will be the most popular person at any party.

[perfect_pitch]

A tupperware party - possibly... but even I haven't been to one of them.

[j_tour]

I don't know what piece that is... is that one of his symphonies???

Yes.

Identify which augmented sixth is used and win a grand prize of me winning.

Salami Tiger Win

Aren't anagrams fun.   

The relevant phrase is "Tiger Blood," and me having it coursing through my veins. 

I can't lose for trying!  It's a fait accompli.

(Actually, yes, anagrams are indeed great fun.  You got lucky, though.)

Anagram the entirety of the comments I made in this winning post, into a series of coherent (or close) sentences, and you might have earned some begrudging respect.

But if you use ChatGPT or some such....you will know great vengeance and furious anger!

I'll wait.  It takes a long time to anagram longer prose fragments by hand.

[perfect_pitch]

1) No one cares which aug 6th was used. Brahms' symphonies are to me... mundane.

2) I already used the tiger blood argument like 10 years ago when Charlie Sheen went off his nut about it... that's my argument.

3) I'm tempted to try and anagramise the entire post you made, but I have more important things to do. I gotta clip my nails, vacuum my carpets, make breakfast... and continue winning this thread.

[j_tour]

3) I'm tempted to try and anagramise the entire post you made, but I have more important things to do. I gotta clip my nails, vacuum my carpets, make breakfast... and continue winning this thread.

Your schemes, like your dreams, done fell through.

Aren't you blue.

(I think it's a French Sixth, but I don't feel like looking it up....hell, just call it an F#11 as a substitute for B7b5 to the tierce de Picardie, for all I care.)

But guess who has a new cordless wet-dry handheld vacuum arriving tomorrow at my door, with a Li-ion battery and charger compatible with my cordless drill?

That's right!  Tiger blood!  You gotta clean up those big pools of tiger blood and those itty bitty pieces of brain and skull, and I'm talking fast, fast, fast.

Now, it doesn't have to be spotless:  you don't have to eat off it.  Perfect is the enemy of good when the clock is ticking.

[perfect_pitch]

But guess who has a new cordless wet-dry handheld vacuum arriving tomorrow at my door, with a Li-ion battery and charger compatible with my cordless drill?

That's right!  Tiger blood! 

You CAN'T clean up blood with a god damn vacuum for goodness sake. Any idiot knows you need to mix 2 parts vinegar with sodium bicarbonate to really break down the blood, then use bleach for whatever is left. For whatever is left, usually methylated spirits will eventually get rid of any residue left depending on how long the blood has been there.

Any serial killer idiot knows that. Vacuuming it will just smear the blood all over the place.

[j_tour]

Vacuuming it will just smear the blood all over the place.

Maybe that's the kind of sugar papa likes!  Or maybe you're confused about how diluting blood marks on carpet with plenty of water and attending to it quickly with a high-powered wet vacuum can be just the thing!

See?  You don't know!

Or if you want to be sloppy, throw up an easel, a half-dozen canvas tarps, and several litres of paint of various colors, put on a smock, wash and dry your hands, address the keyboard, and now you're a multimedia artist!

If you're that amateur to be waiting around for cops to come knocking at your door!  You're a musician, man!  Obviously you have a van you can use as a kill room and also for transporting your gear to jobs, right?  Never bring your work home with you!

And cancel that chlorine bleach line statim, man!  I use bleach for sterilizing my instruments, *before* using them!  After?  It's the purifying fire or nothing!  Bleach.  First m*&YYf&&ing thing cops look for!  Pair of nitrile gloves, a few litres of bleach....they find that in the boot of your car along with the zip ties, the face mask, the unopened plastic bag containing a set of clean scrubs, paper booties, and a balaclava?  Forget about it! 

Don't be talking to me about no bleach, fool!  Next thing you know you'll be telling me about duck tape, splash goggles, and a ball gag, plus one large pillowcase full of batteries, and another one full of candy! 

You're a professional musician, man!  You know this stuff!

[perfect_pitch]

Maybe that's the kind of sugar papa likes!  Or maybe you're confused about how diluting blood marks on carpet with plenty of water and attending to it quickly with a high-powered wet vacuum can be just the thing!

See?  You don't know!

Or if you want to be sloppy, throw up an easel, a half-dozen canvas tarps, and several litres of paint of various colors, put on a smock, wash and dry your hands, address the keyboard, and now you're a multimedia artist!

If you're that amateur to be waiting around for cops to come knocking at your door!  You're a musician, man!  Obviously you have a van you can use as a kill room and also for transporting your gear to jobs, right?  Never bring your work home with you!

And cancel that chlorine bleach line statim, man!  I use bleach for sterilizing my instruments, *before* using them!  After?  It's the purifying fire or nothing!  Bleach.  First m*&YYf&&ing thing cops look for!  Pair of nitrile gloves, a few litres of bleach....they find that in the boot of your car along with the zip ties, the face mask, the unopened plastic bag containing a set of clean scrubs, paper booties, and a balaclava?  Forget about it! 

Don't be talking to me about no bleach, fool!  Next thing you know you'll be telling me about duck tape, splash goggles, and a ball gag, plus one large pillowcase full of batteries, and another one full of candy! 

You're a professional musician, man!  You know this stuff!

I just knew that if I egged you on enough, I could get you onto one of your narcissistic rants. It's like looking at a match, a dynamite keg, and a small leakage of gunpowder lying on the ground to said dynamite keg and matching the 2 together.

You just want to sit back and watch the mayhem.   

Edit: I'll give you credit though - you've put a lot more thought into cleaning up after a crime scene than I ever have. Makes me wonder... where the hell did Bob go? He used to frequent this thread... didn't he?

[j_tour]

Makes me wonder... where the hell did Bob go? He used to frequent this thread... didn't he?

HEY! 

Hey Bob!

Bob!

I want all my garmanbozia!

[perfect_pitch]

I want all my garmanbozia!

Hey... I like making up words as much as the next person, but that's not going to get you a win.

I thought you'd have more cormundenship than that.

[j_tour]

I thought you'd have more cormundenship than that.

Bob knows all about garmanbozia.  Look behind you, in this thread!

[perfect_pitch]

On the subject of Religion... but hopefully worth the read.

I don't know if any of you are catholic or whatever... but attending mass before my nephews baptism, we all lined up to attend communion. As we go to sit down and reflect, my sister whispers to me "when we receive communion, what were we meant to say?"

I politely reply in a hushed tone "Amen..." as if it was bleedingly obviously. A little surprised, she shrugs and says....

"Ahhh... Ooops. I said 'Thanks'".

Funniest *** moment of my life. Do you know how *** HARD it was not to burst out laughing in the middle of communion? I had *** TEARS coming out of my eyeballs, and I was as red as a beetroot.

My other sister whose nephew was being baptised afterwards looks at us both and asks us what was so funny, so I proceed to tell her... to which she starts doing EVERYTHING in her power not to completely lose it in front of the other parishioners.

THEN MY MOTHER looks at us as if we're both being irreverent heathens, and wonders what the hell is going on... so I proceed to tell her... and I think you know where this is going.

So the 3 of us are red as beetroots, tears STREAMING from our eyes and doing everything we can not to make a scene. I've stifled my laughter so hard, I had cramps in my stomach and was getting a severely painful throat.

Funniest moment of my life.

[j_tour]

That's pretty good.  Actually, the better move would have been to not receive the biscuit, and folded your arms in front of you, and perhaps said "Bless me father," or whatever.

To be strict about it.

Yeah, I'll cop to being a practicing Catholic, Roman rite, but I'll admit it's mostly to keep my Latin in shape and watch the gals kneeling in front of me during mass and days of obligation.  Yes, I'm relatively up on theology, but that's just because there's some good literature in there.

But I don't receive the eucharist, nor do I say the Nicene Creed during mass, although I believe I remember it in Latin.  I sit in the back.  I have unconfessed mortal sins, such as having missed masses, and a number of other things.  Being a non-believer is not an impediment, necessarily, as my parish priest assures me, but I cannot receive the Eucharist according to my own interpretation of canon law. 

Tolle, lege, if you want, but it doesn't bother me.

Just don't drop the consecrated host on the ground.  That's a major problem.

On the subject of Religion... but hopefully worth the read.

That was actually a good tale, well told!  Credit where it is due, that was a well told story, and you painted the picture beautifully.

IMHO cradle Catholics have a good sense of humor about their own religion.  There's a lot to be amused about.  And a lot to be reconciled.

But, no RCC, no Blues Brothers.

[perfect_pitch]

That's pretty good.  Actually, the better move would have been to not receive the biscuit, and folded your arms in front of you, and perhaps said "Bless me father," or whatever.

That was actually a good tale, well told!  Credit where it is due, that was a well told story, and you painted the picture beautifully.

Thank you - to this day, it still makes me break down in tears of laughter trying to tell it to other people. There was something so perfect about that situation.

I used to have a Year 2 who did piano, and he was nervously playing through the song making a couple of mistakes. As he finished up the song and I was writing my notes - he said 'Can I tell you something'?

I said sure, and then proceeded to continue quickly write some practice tips in his music journal while this little doe-eyed innocent primary school student said:

"My dad lets me watch Top Gear, and every time James May makes a mistake... he says 'oh cock'.

7 years old... I'll admit - it was very hard not to break into laughter, but I managed to stifle it.

[j_tour]

Thank you - to this day, it still makes me break down in tears of laughter trying to tell it to other people. There was something so perfect about that situation.

You're welcome!  It was good.

However, what's really needed is to apply compression to the telecaster guitar.

[perfect_pitch]

So you think nurses and ambulance drivers would make good guitar players???

[j_tour]

So you think nurses and ambulance drivers would make good guitar players???

Yep.  Even women, too. 

[perfect_pitch]

Yep.  Even women, too. 

One could make a joke and say that it's hard to play guitar and wash the dishes at the same time...

...but we're more sophisticated than that... aren't we?

[j_tour]

One could make a joke and say that it's hard to play guitar and wash the dishes at the same time...

...but we're more sophisticated than that... aren't we?

Nope.

[perfect_pitch]

One could make a joke and say that it's hard to play guitar and wash the dishes at the same time...

...but we're more sophisticated than that... aren't we?

Nope.

Okay - let me rephrase that. SOME of us are more sophisticated.

[j_tour]

Okay - let me rephrase that. SOME of us are more sophisticated.

[perfect_pitch]

Know we know why Princess Peach ran away from Mario... he's a misogynistic wanker who treated her like a slave.

I always wondered about that...

[j_tour]

Know we know why Princess Peach ran away from Mario... he's a misogynistic wanker who treated her like a slave.

He asked for a soda not a whiskey and a cigar.

Princess Whatever is helping Mario maintain his sobriety and clean living ways.

She's very understanding of Mario's adjustment to his new life.

[perfect_pitch]

And how many Koopa's did Mario have to massacre to get where he was???

He's a vindictive bastard.

[j_tour]

And how many Koopa's did Mario have to massacre to get where he was???

He's a vindictive bastard.

Righteous hatred is the fuel which ends suffering.