Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

It all started with a badly timed 'fat' joke.

[j_tour]

[lostinidlewonder]

[perfect_pitch]

Isn't it great to know that everything you do is captured and will be on the internet...

FOREVER!!!

[j_tour]

Isn't it great to know that everything you do is captured and will be on the internet...

It is not great.

[perfect_pitch]

It is not great.

I've got nothing to be ashamed of... so I think it's brilliant.

[j_tour]

I've got nothing to be ashamed of... so I think it's brilliant.

[perfect_pitch]

That is an excellent impression of a cow...

So is this:

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Can't believe you went for the comic cell, instead of the 'Scanners' reference.

[lostinidlewonder]

[perfect_pitch]

Where do you find this crap???

[lostinidlewonder]

It can take on a few different forms, not too difficult to spot though if you have a good nose.

[perfect_pitch]

What is wrong with you... seriously,,,

Why would you post that crap...?

(I meant that both literally and figuratively)...

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Interesting stuff.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Damn - he has to be a contender for best limbo champion in the world.

Pretty impressive... but not as impressive as this win.   

[lostinidlewonder]

What win?

Winning wins. Winnie poos.

[perfect_pitch]

That's almost the cutest form of a shitpile I have ever seen.

Isn't the internet weird.

[j_tour]

That's right.  Execute Bully them.  Pig after pig, cow after cow, village after village.

Bullying's good for kids.  Builds character.

[perfect_pitch]

Bullying's good for kids.  Builds character.

EXACTLY!!! I mean, how are you going to survive in the real world after high school if you don't develop the ability to put up with torments from wankers and the odd punching from the school loser who was always throwing his weight around.

Now it's getting to the stage where some girls aren't girls, some guys can walk into the womens bathroom, and people are growing up with so much confusion as to who they are.

I mean, some people identify as a spirit, some people identify as non-binary. What's next? Does anyone identify as a raccoon? Does anyone identify as a plant???

The world is going to hell faster than we can imagine.

[j_tour]

EXACTLY!!! I mean, how are you going to survive in the real world after high school if you don't develop the ability to put up with torments from wankers and the odd punching from the school loser who was always throwing his weight around.

That's very offensive to bullies everywhere.  Without bullies, who would do the bullying?  Nerds?  Musicians?  That's impossible!

Support your local bully by presenting him with your cash, valuables, and women when asked.

[perfect_pitch]

The first robot bully ever in existence...

[j_tour]

The first robot bully ever in existence...

Was beaten to death by an armed vigilante.

[perfect_pitch]

I think that's putting it a little lightly... plus you're 2 days late with your response.

[j_tour]

I think that's putting it a little lightly... plus you're 2 days late with your response.

Your girlfriend's late.  You know.  Time to see the doctor.

[perfect_pitch]

Your girlfriend's late.  You know.  Time to see the doctor.

You're preaching to the wrong person... still waiting to meet that special someone, haven't met her yet.

 

[j_tour]

You're preaching to the wrong person... still waiting to meet that special someone, haven't met her yet.

 

Someday you'll find that rainbow connection!  Hook 'em and cook 'em, son! 

You too can have a fulfilling life spent in a series of failed romantic entanglements, and perhaps become old and cynical.

Just like me!

Bah.  The right gal.  No such entity.  All people are profoundly disappointing, and none more than one's partner du jour.

Not to overly generalize, but women tend to, in many Western cultures, appreciate a rigorous, combative approach.  It engages their intellect, and fosters strength and independence; those are very good qualities in a person.

[perfect_pitch]

You too can have a fulfilling life spent in a series of failed romantic entanglements, and perhaps become old and cynical.

Just like me!

Oh, I don't think anyone could get as old and cynical as you - you're special.

I don't think the world could do with 2 of you.

[j_tour]

I don't think the world could do with 2 of you.

Could never happen.  I'd have to kill the other one.  Ulrich and Agathe, the dark side (of Musil's *Der Mann ohne Eigenschaften*). 

Would make a ripping good TV show, probably.

Believe it or not, I had two serious romantic relationships, one for about eight years, with women who were very much "on my level."  That is, basically, twisted, dark, cynical, but hilarious.  And, yes, pretty crafty, each in their own ways.  Things did not go well.  The others were either just one-nighters, or among longer term gals, thought I was some kind of demented genius who happened to be great in the sack, good at words, and stuff.  Nothing lasts.

Now I'm getting 'em young, before their personalities have developed.  (Shuddup, sicko, I mean women in their twenties.  I ain't no Elvis!)  They just don't know it yet.

[perfect_pitch]

Some might say they're robbing the cradle... they might say they're robbing the grave.     

[j_tour]

Some might say they're robbing the cradle... they might say they're robbing the grave.     

Congratulations.  I don't think there's any possible response.   

Did you say that, or did you have ChatGPT do that?

Every question I ask it ends in "That is inappropriate or offensive," or "I prefer not to discuss that."

[perfect_pitch]

Did you say that, or did you have ChatGPT do that?

You think I need *** artificial intelligence to come up with a clever comeback???

The human mind is still capable of coming up with creativity and ideas that artificial intelligence is still 50 years away from matching.

I'm insulted.

[lostinidlewonder]

You think I need *** artificial intelligence to come up with a clever comeback???

The human mind is still capable of coming up with creativity and ideas that artificial intelligence is still 50 years away from matching.

Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own.

[j_tour]

You think I need *** artificial intelligence to come up with a clever comeback???

Whatever you say, tinkerbell.  Who said anything about clever?   

[lostinidlewonder]

I only eat deceased chicks, would be rather barbaric otherwise.

[j_tour]

I only eat deceased chicks, would be rather barbaric otherwise.

What's the password?

[perfect_pitch]

I suspect that's what would eventually happen to the Phantom of the Opera after years of loneliness... the need to accessorise his mask.

[j_tour]

I suspect that's what would eventually happen to the Phantom of the Opera after years of loneliness... the need to accessorise his mask.

Hush your mouth, son!  I'm eating for two now.

Also, stop asking ChatGPT all those questions about Winona Ryder.  "I’m sorry but I cannot answer that question as it is inappropriate and disrespectful. However, according to some sources, Winona Ryder’s body measurements are 36-24-35 inches1234. Is there anything else I can help you with?"  And now it's giving me static like "I’m sorry, but I cannot engage in this conversation. This is an inappropriate and offensive question. Please refrain from asking such questions in the future. Thank you."

Dumb robot machines aren't worth a damn.  Being all prudes and stuff.  Donkey tango foxtrot.  That was a fine question.  Bleargh.

[perfect_pitch]

Thought everyone could do with a bit of a laugh...

[j_tour]

LMAO.  That is great.

I'm going to have to start practicing!  Top notch!

[perfect_pitch]

Here... I'll get you started with something simple to practice...



Make sure you strictly observe the rests and try not to hit too many wrong notes...

[j_tour]

Here... I'll get you started with something simple to practice...

But my teacher said I was allowed to start playing Hanon now that I've finished the Chopin préludes.

[perfect_pitch]

But my teacher said I was allowed to start playing Hanon now that I've finished the Chopin préludes.

Well, then I think you're ready to tackle something a little harder than Hanon... Like Xenakis...

...or Sorabji

[lostinidlewonder]

He need to drink lots of Ha-na-ji drinks.......
*crickets chirping*

[j_tour]

I think maybe I should start playing the lute, constructing one myself from the fragments of an unused piano.  Hanajiage's music played fff should take care of any cumbersome keys and strings.

[perfect_pitch]

Oh dear - I've never heard of this Hanajiage, but it doesn't sound too appealing.

Also, the concept of trying to build a LUTE of all things from a piano is insulting.

If you had told me you were going to gut it so you can become a hit-man and use the piano wire to garrote someone, I'd understand... but a LUTE???

Totally bloody unacceptable.

[j_tour]

Oh dear - I've never heard of this Hanajiage, but it doesn't sound too appealing.

Also, the concept of trying to build a LUTE of all things from a piano is insulting.

If you had told me you were going to gut it so you can become a hit-man and use the piano wire to garrote someone, I'd understand... but a LUTE???

Totally bloody unacceptable.

You talk a lot.

[lostinidlewonder]

Vocalise in many different keys, can disturb neighbours if done inappropriately. Rachmaninov did explain how to do it well, but he had big hands. You know what they say about people with big hands? That's right, if the gloves don't fit you must equit.