Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

My fingers and hands are extremely strong.  I can produce a rock, no problem.  And I already have a bride.  She just happens to be someone else's as well. 

I don't like sloppy seconds...

[liszt-and-the-galops]

You have a problem with sheep.

That has to be the silliest allegation I have ever heard from anyone. Well, second silliest. First being Putin claiming Ukraine supports Nazis when Zelenskyy is Jewish 
Слава Україні.

[perfect_pitch]

That has to be the silliest allegation I have ever heard from anyone.

Called it - I told J_Tour you liked sheep in an earlier post...

... I mean REALLY liked sheep...

You know...   as in 'like like'.   

Also... no one cares about that big rock to be honest.

[j_tour]

I don't like sloppy seconds...

Mine are the sloppiest.  You definitely don't want that.

You're welcome for the free mental picture.  Good luck with that!

Called it - I told J_Tour you liked sheep in an earlier post...

It's true.  The boy has a problem with sheep.

It's as bad as being addicted to one's phone or Instagram or whatever.

I pity the lad.

[perfect_pitch]

I don't have Instagram... it's bad for the soul.

Plus, I went out to a lovely 5 star restaurant yesterday and there was a family of 4 across from me literally mouths shut, eyes glued to their god-damned phones, while they were in a fantastic and visually beautiful restaurant. Kids looked like they were teenagers, parents in their early 50's... but damn - it was depressing to watch.

Not one of them even uttered a word for about 10 minutes. Couldn't believe it...

[j_tour]

Not one of them even uttered a word for about 10 minutes. Couldn't believe it...

Cannibal cows chewing their cuds.

[perfect_pitch]

Cannibal cows chewing their cuds.

They weren't even eating either... they were waiting for their bloody food. They SAT there just motionless almost (apart from their thumbs) and in silence.

I've seen people with more energy at a wake.

[j_tour]

I've seen people with more energy at a wake.

If you stared at them intently for ten minutes, motionless, do you think they would have noticed?

[perfect_pitch]

If you stared at them intently for ten minutes, motionless, do you think they would have noticed?

I looked at them multiple times hoping that this was maybe just a dry spell in the conversation, but most of what I saw was like this.

Very odd, indeed.

[j_tour]

I looked at them multiple times hoping that this was maybe just a dry spell in the conversation, but most of what I saw was like this.

Very odd, indeed.

You should have taken out a notebook, stared at their party without blinking or moving your head, while writing notes.

I bet they would have left.

hoping that this was maybe just a dry spell in the conversation

No.  One stands astride a vulgar gulf between those who try and those who refuse all effort.

I bet they voted for Paul Hogan in the last MP election, though.  I know I would have.  So, not all bad.

[perfect_pitch]

You should have taken out a notebook, stared at their party without blinking or moving your head, while writing notes.

I left all my spying and note-taking crap in my other jacket.

[j_tour]

I left all my spying and note-taking crap in my other jacket.

Notebook.  Pen or pencil and eraser.  Are you saying me that you ain't what carry such around? 

[transitional]

If this thread is slowing down, I suppose I can post here. Lol

[j_tour]

If this thread is slowing down, I suppose I can post here. Lol

Not really, but you get a 'C' for effort.  That's satisfactory! 

[transitional]

Well, no one's stopping me from posting more!

[j_tour]

Well, no one's stopping me from posting more!

Aren't they? 

Anyway, common decency commands it.

But I just want to say you're doing a really good job in this thread. 

[lostinidlewonder]

I win, first post for 2024. Too good.

[transitional]

Second post for 2024, but more importantly, I'm winning!

[j_tour]

Don't think all the effort you all are putting into this has gone unnoticed.  To the contrary, it's very much appreciated. 

You all are really doing a good job at this thread, and I hope you all win.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Such a wonderful, lively conversation about losing. Shame it has to get cut off here by me winning. 

[j_tour]

Such a wonderful, lively conversation about losing. Shame it has to get cut off here by me winning. 

Congratulations!  You're winning so much!

[liszt-and-the-galops]

That was just a whole lot of losingness.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

On another topic, I am announcing my surrender. I believe that, with 4 main combatants, this thread could go on forever. As such I am taking the high ground and surrendering my very favorable position to Transitional. Blah Blah Blah very formal words blah very insulting words blah blah blah blah conditional on one and only one thing: everyone else gives up first.

[lostinidlewonder]

[j_tour]

You people are super cool, and I'm really impresssed by your efforts.

[perfect_pitch]

Can't believe it - gone for almost 2 weeks and not one of you shed a tear or even asked about my whereabouts...

THANKS FOR CARING!!!

[j_tour]

Can't believe it - gone for almost 2 weeks and not one of you shed a tear or even asked about my whereabouts...

I noticed your absence, but thought you were locked in an inebriate asylum, or something.  Or playing hide-the-salami with one of your beloved ungulates or marsupials.

That's really super you're back.

Everyone here is doing a really good job at this thread.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Can't believe it - gone for almost 2 weeks and not one of you shed a tear or even asked about my whereabouts...

The only one who missed you was my hitman.

Everyone here is doing a really bad job at this thread.

J_tour, are you alright? Normally, you compliment everyone or act rather idiotically for laughs. Was this a typo, or should we be worried?

[j_tour]

J_tour, are you alright? Normally, you compliment everyone or act rather idiotically for laughs. Was this a typo, or should we be worried?

My only criticism is that you should act more rigorously and stringently.

But you really are doing a fine job overall, since you've started using the chart.

[transitional]

No, j_tour, perhaps you should be the one that gets complimented. You're doing all the hard work, we're merely benefiting from it. Here you go.

You're doing a good job at this thread.
You're doing a great job at this thread.
You're doing a fine job at this thread.
You're doing a good job at this thread.
Good job. good job good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job. good job.
I'm in awe of how great you are.
Good job. Now go leave this thread so I can get back to winning.

I did not copy and paste any of that, because that's not allowed. And you know something else I didn't copy and paste?

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America. Bad word make me sad.

All typed. Now look for the typos.

[perfect_pitch]

I noticed your absence, but thought you were locked in an inebriate asylum, or something.  Or playing hide-the-salami with one of your beloved ungulates or marsupials.

Nope... just my graphics card decided to sh*t itself without warning and I couldn't get the computer to display anything. Took almost 2 weeks for the computer company to get round to looking at my computer. Had to buy another one. 

The only one who missed you was my hitman.

Then your hitman sucks.

[j_tour]

All typed. Now look for the typos.

No need.  I'd die for you, such is my admiration.  And your work ethic cannot be questioned.

Your contributions to this thread have been outstanding in every way.

[Y]our hitman sucks.

My only criticism is that this is now a happy thread, where mutual admiration and fellowship abounds and diverse generations and viewpoints are joined with tolerance and hope for the future.

Let's try to turn that frown upside down, p_p?  Can you do that for me?  I know you can.  You are one of the bravest souls I've ever encountered, and I've never once seen a problem you couldn't solve with your astonishing gifts, and with the utmost humility and self-sacrifice.

You are the rock upon which I build each day anew. 

[perfect_pitch]

My only criticism is that this is now a happy thread, where mutual admiration and fellowship abounds and diverse generations and viewpoints are joined with tolerance and hope for the future.

Let's try to turn that frown upside down, p_p?  Can you do that for me?  I know you can.  You are one of the bravest souls I've ever encountered, and I've never once seen a problem you couldn't solve with your astonishing gifts, and with the utmost humility and self-sacrifice.

You are the rock upon which I build each day anew.

Awww... that's so nice and friendly. I am trying to take on those kind words, but as you have pointed out many times - this is a competition of sorts to see who will be the last person to comment, so I'm sure a little bit of rivalry, jesting and sarcastic wit and the slightly inoffensive insult here and there won't be too crushing to anyone.

My goal is to slightly demoralise you all more and more each day until no one else has the energy to type in this thread, thus cementing my inevitable win.

What can I say - I'm a competitive mother-f@#$er!!!

[j_tour]

so I'm sure a little bit of rivalry, jesting and sarcastic wit and the slightly inoffensive insult here and there won't be too crushing to anyone.

I couldn't agree more!  I'm very pleased that you're on the side of conviviality and good fellowship.

You ro^@^* little ^@^*@ of m*^%*^ing sh*^& stained a**eat&&& c**cs**&^@ son&^^*@*^ as&^^@* fu*^^@*.

I meant Happy New Year to you, of course, esteemed fellow keybo^^&*&@ mot^&%&*^ so*^^&*&& pinche huevóns hi&*^&@ de pu*&^* et ching&%^ tu *&^^& esta es&&.

First thing's first, these children must be made an example of.

[perfect_pitch]

You ro^@^* little ^@^*@ of m*^%*^ing sh*^& stained a**eat&&& c**cs**&^@ son&^^*@*^ as&^^@* fu*^^@*.

I meant Happy New Year to you, of course, esteemed fellow keybo^^&*&@ mot^&%&*^ so*^^&*&& pinche huevóns hi&*^&@ de pu*&^* et ching&%^ tu *&^^& esta es&&.

I think you need a new keyboard... some of your letters don't seem to work. I got less than half of that...

et ching

I do however like Etching... so thanks for that.

[j_tour]

I do however like Etching... so thanks for that.

Yeah, I thought you'd like that, you limey c*******er.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, I thought you'd like that, you limey c*******er.

You think I'm a limey cowcatcher??? I'll admit, I've never been on a farm... and don't think I'd be any good at the job.

[j_tour]

You think I'm a limey cowcatcher??? I'll admit, I've never been on a farm... and don't think I'd be any good at the job.

Ah.  So you admit your serious limitations, and yet you still continue to strive to win the thread.

Like I said, your bravery should be an inspiration to every single thinking person.

[perfect_pitch]

Ah.  So you admit your serious limitations, and yet you still continue to strive to win the thread.

Like I said, your bravery should be an inspiration to every single thinking person.

Yes, but winning this thread isn't exactly going to be hard... I mean if you're my main competition...

I don't see any foreseeable hurdles.   

[j_tour]

Yes, but winning this thread isn't exactly going to be hard... I mean if you're my main competition...

I don't see any foreseeable hurdles.   

If I cut off your arm, cooked it, and presented it to you, would you eat it?

That would be a funny joke.

[ravelfan07]

Dang, over 1 million views

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Dang, over 1 million views

And nearly 16,000 replies spanning almost 321 pages. Crazy that 2.5 people (on average) could do that in just 10 years.

you're my main competition

Thanks for the compliment! 

I don't see any foreseeable hurdles.   

This is you losing (again)...
Oh right. You're blind. No wonder you don't see any hurdles -- you can't see ANYTHING.
In that case, I can decommission that "hall of horrible mirrors" I was planning to trap my fiercest competitor in once I achieve victory.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Then your hitman sucks.

For once, you're right. I've fired him already. Also,

You have a problem with sheep.  Admit it.

Forgot to mention this earlier, but Wales is my favorite part of the United Kingdoms of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Shows what you know about my (lack of) distaste for sheep.

[perfect_pitch]

This is you losing (again)...

Mate... you've only been a member here for 3 months so you don't have sh*t on us and don't get to take the credit. And most of the views were done by me and J_Tour... most of the replies were done by us as well. You've contributed very little to this thread.

Thanks for the compliment!

You also misread the post... You're not my main competition. You are like a bug... a tiny insignificant smear on my wind shield... and I'm the one driving the car.

You are nothing to me. I wasn't complimenting you - I was complimenting J_Tour...

[liszt-and-the-galops]

You also misread the post...
I wasn't complimenting you - I was complimenting J_Tour...

Your fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

You're not my main competition.

You bet your pride I am.

You are like a bug... a tiny insignificant smear on my wind shield...

Far from "Insignificant," mosquitoes are the most dangerous animal in the world by a long shot.

I'm the one driving the car.

You call this a car?
Everyone here would probably call it a scooter. Also, where does that leave j_tour, your "greatest competition?" Standing in front of you on a skateboard? I highly doubt that.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Now that I think about it, this would be hilarious:
J_tour
vs.
P_P
vs.
LIIW
vs.
Liszt
 

[j_tour]

There's sometimes a buggy.  How many drivers does a buggy have? 

One, right?

Well, let's just say that I'm driving this buggy, and if you fix your attitude, you can ride along with me.

[liszt-and-the-galops]

Sorry, P_P was riding a scooter so I assumed your vehicle would be a similar size. Here's the correction:

[perfect_pitch]

Your fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

I wasn't even addressing you in the slightest. It wasn't even a quote from you that I was replying to so your understanding of how a conversation works is dubious at best.

[j_tour]

I wasn't even addressing you in the slightest. It wasn't even a quote from you that I was replying to so your understanding of how a conversation works is dubious at best.

It's short bus tiny town now. 

Best to let the little fella tucker himself out and then maybe it will be ready to be put down for a nap.