Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

No ur ladies.

Nice keen nose for detail there, Hawkeye. 

Perhaps Paul Hogan might consider recruiting you for his auxiliary special military tactical forces unit.

I've made my comments about Paul Hogan very clear... washed up (very bad) actor who was a dodgy tax-avoiding criminal.

Who cares about Paul Hogan... you do realise there are other great Australian actors to reference if you're going for the 'Aussie' reference.

Hugh Jackman?

[j_tour]

Scott Morrison?  Didn't he take a dump at some restaurant's table?

I can't even.

But, he did grow up to be that wolver-being or whatever they call themselves these days.

C'mon, doesn't that get you people steady as a rock in your left hand?

And Paul Hogan is a saint.  A SAINT!  I worship at his throne maybe twice a month, or more if I'm irregular and have a heavy flow.

[perfect_pitch]

Scott Morrison?  Didn't he take a dump at some restaurant's table?

No...he took a dump on the people of Australia.

And Paul Hogan is a saint.  A SAINT!  I worship at his throne maybe twice a month, or more if I'm irregular and have a heavy flow.[/font]

Hogan is a putz... almost the same amount of a putz as bloody Morrison; both incompetent at their jobs and screwed either the people of Australia, or the tax they should have paid.

[j_tour]

No...he took a dump on the people of Australia.



Hogan is a putz... almost the same amount of a putz as bloody Morrison; both incompetent at their jobs and screwed either the people of Australia, or the tax they should have paid.

Wow.  Plus ça change.

Just keep on flogging that dead cadavre, mijo.

Remember, though, that I have firearms and no kangaroos, so, really, nothing to lose.

I think I'm going to buy a clavichord, though.  One to start with, but obviously one needs two....not sure what kind of cases I'd need for them, though, for moving about/traveling....they're kind of fragile (not an ideal "gigging instrument," not to mention rather quiet, which is OK for me. 

OTOH I hate tuning instruments, which a clavichord would likely need tous les jours.  The volume?  Meh, I can put a shotgun mike and use a small portable amplifier and cabinet and make that work.....but my place has already too much sheet in it already.

And maybe you didn't know, but "putz" is considered a really quite vulgar word in the Yiddish language.  No, I'm not Jewish myself, but this ex-wife was and both her parents was from the old country, so I learned a bit from there.

Oy.  Look at the putz on that camel!  Says the punchline to some old corny joke.

[perfect_pitch]

Remember, though, that I have firearms and no kangaroos, so, really, nothing to lose.

Yes, but if I'm not mistaken... you want to put the firearms to the kangaroo so you can get your scrotum coin purse.

So, you might have nothing to lose, but you've had that lofty goal for so long and it hasn't materialised... so clearly you also don't have any follow-through.

[j_tour]

Yes, but if I'm not mistaken... you want to put the firearms to the kangaroo so you can get your scrotum coin purse.

So, you might have nothing to lose, but you've had that lofty goal for so long and it hasn't materialised... so clearly you also don't have any follow-through.

Well, perhaps I don't want the kangaroo scrotum fiercely enough, and never have.

Now, I've not prevaricated just now.  I do want one.  Or several.

But perhaps not enough to follow through on that particular idea.

Besides, I have firearms now.   What's the difference what scrotum it is?

Anyway, it's all academic, since I don't know anything about shaving and tanning hides, so someone would have to provide it to me.

For a price, of course.

I'm just collecting firearms and thinking about buying a clavichord...perhaps two, for stacking action in playing Bach, because I'm a furry at heart, and a friend to all.

[perfect_pitch]

Besides, I have firearms now.

What could possibly go wrong with that...

[j_tour]

What could possibly go wrong with that...

Were you about to call me a monkey? 

That is so racist.

Besides, what is some beer-swilling, Strine-speaking bogan got telling me my outstanding record of safety with firearms is lacking?

Fine.  I'll get my own kangaroo scrotum.  The old fashioned way. 

Well....I'll say it's a kangaroo scrotum, but we'll all know the truth.  Practically indistinguishable, anyway.

[perfect_pitch]

Were you about to call me a monkey? 

What in the holy hell??? I Wasn't even thinking of animals when I wrote that... no idea what you're smoking, but it appears to be great stuff. Let me know where I can purchase it.

Besides, what is some beer-swilling, Strine-speaking bogan got telling me my outstanding record of safety with firearms is lacking?

1) I ain't a bogan... I bet you've never actually met a proper Aussie bogan (uuuurgh, I have    )
2) Most gun shots in America are either self-inflicted or people are shot by members of their own family.
3) I'd like to see you try and get your own kangaroo coin purse.

[lostinidlewonder]

I have fire arms too.

[j_tour]

1) I ain't a bogan... I bet you've never actually met a proper Aussie bogan (uuuurgh, I have    )
2) Most gun shots in America are either self-inflicted or people are shot by members of their own family.
3) I'd like to see you try and get your own kangaroo coin purse.

(i) Right.

(ii) Well, then that's good for them, I suppose.  Doesn't concern me.  If you've not observed, over half the US country is made up of complete idiots who belong, like the deplorables they are, to the Nazi party.  They should pull the trigger on themselves or their families sooner rather than later.  They don't deserve to live, IMHO, so if they want to hasten their own demise, they should hurry up the process.

(iii) No, those pests run faster than me,  and I just plain am not going to.  It's your country, anyway.  Just grab some off the side of the road and send it to me.

I have fire arms too.

See?

Even that....person or whatever agrees with me!

Yeah, tucker in to that bush there, sheila!

[perfect_pitch]

(iii) No, those pests run faster than me,  and I just plain am not going to.  It's your country, anyway.  Just grab some off the side of the road and send it to me.

Again... always wanting someone else to do your work for them. Do you think kangaroos just roam the streets in their hundreds??? They're mostly found in the middle of the country where it's dry as hell and hot as a... well, I'll let you fill that with a noun of your choice.

Lazy...

[j_tour]

Again... always wanting someone else to do your work for them.

Yes.

Do you think kangaroos just roam the streets in their hundreds???

Yes.

where it's dry as hell and hot as a... well, I'll let you fill that with a noun of your choice.

Already have.

[moonlight88]

That's not a furry... that's Chewbacca in his uncomfortable years of adolescence; obviously years before he met Han Solo.

certainly closer to that than a furry

[perfect_pitch]

They're mostly found in the middle of the country where it's dry as hell and hot as a... well, I'll let you fill that with a noun of your choice.

Already have.

I won't ask what that word was...

[j_tour]

I won't ask what that word was...

It was a more a very descriptive phrase.

Just one word wasn't enough.

[perfect_pitch]

It was a more a very descriptive phrase.

Just one word wasn't enough.

[j_tour]

It was not moist, therefore the host was not receptive.

I learned that phrase from Duolingo French version.

[perfect_pitch]

I speak a little Spanish...

[j_tour]

I speak a little Spanish...

Pinche puto barracho más huevon qué una niña gorda.

[perfect_pitch]

Pinche puto barracho más huevon qué una niña gorda

También puedo usar el Traductor de Google, imbécil.

[j_tour]

También puedo usar el Traductor de Google, imbécil.

You use a robot to translate for you?

That's childish.

[perfect_pitch]

Somehow, I suspect you also did the same and didn't just handily have the phrase "Pinche puto barracho más huevon qué una niña gorda" ready to say at this exact point in time.

[j_tour]

Somehow, I suspect you also did the same and didn't just handily have the phrase "Pinche puto barracho más huevon qué una niña gorda" ready to say at this exact point in time.

Somehow you're wrong. 

And my phrase is about on the level of my Spanish:  a native speaker would understand and think I'm an idiot.

[lostinidlewonder]

Spanish is easy, S O C K S, just spell it out, Eso ci que es.

Wash your hands too, you filthy.

[j_tour]

"No Si se puede vivir sin amar"

— Malcolm Lowry

I bet you have to have your robot machine look that up for you too.

I expect a certain amount of general knowledge here and I find it to be lacking.

So go on, git. 

Git me some them roo scrotes!  I pay you Canadian dollar!  One a hundred ten even Canadian dollar if she go that high!  Fine.  I go on ebay.  I will have that scrotum.

/* edit:  ..... the Alfred edition of the Haydn sonatas is fine, textually, but the paper and binding is absolute crap.  Go for the Henle.  D'une personne qui en connaît d'autres, putain que oui.*/

/* edit.edit.....I ran my phrase through Google "translate"...it's wrong.  No.  What I said in was much more offensive and would probably get you stabbed with a knife when a fluent speaker stopped laughing. 

Proof?  I just asked my friend from Costa Rica and he concurred.  He agreed it was illiterate and stupid, but he's been here since he was a small child and my Spanish is better than his. */

[perfect_pitch]

Wash your hands too, you filthy.

Ahhh - American Dad. That used to be funny in Nineteen-ninety-never.

/* edit.edit.....I ran my phrase through Google "translate"...it's wrong.  No.  What I said in was much more offensive and would probably get you stabbed with a knife when a fluent speaker stopped laughing. 

Proof?  I just asked my friend from Costa Rica and he concurred.  He agreed it was illiterate and stupid, but he's been here since he was a small child and my Spanish is better than his. *

Mmmm... you have me curious as to what you originally said then, if Google Translate is wrong.

[j_tour]

Mmmm... you have me curious as to what you originally said then, if Google Translate is wrong.

"Google" translate (srsly?  use Bing!) was just more politically correct than my spontaneous verbal ejaculation.

Did you all know Valentime Day is coming up? 

What do you all to get your sweethearts? 

I got a bucket of blood and a postcard.

[lostinidlewonder]

It's mantequilla not burro.

[perfect_pitch]

Did you all know Valentime Day is coming up? 

If anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's in the same way I spend every Valentine's. Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, taking it home, standing over the sink and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

[j_tour]

If anyone's interested, I'll be spending this Valentine's in the same way I spend every Valentine's. Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket, taking it home, standing over the sink and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal.

Yeah, but you're going to wash the ivory keys of your piano with milk afterwards, right?

It's mantequilla not burro.

No, I was pretty sure it was amalliro or something.  Isn't that Mexican for something?

I got my passport renewed and they even sent me my old one back....I guess for something like all the visas and permits I had in mine, some people like those for souvenirs, I guess.

Only question for me is (i) North or (ii) South.

I'm bilingual in French and English from birth, but I still have a hard time with the FR CN accent and slang....but I can pick up Spanish pretty easily, I guess. 

Most of my readings these days are from obscure texts written in Latin (not joking...that's sort of a hobby, I guess), and it's called Latin America, so it should be fine, right?

Yeah but no.  I don't go out in the sun.  I'm in my forties still and I'd rather not have my head look like a deflated basketball when I turn fifty or beyond.  Therefore I have to wear a big hat or not go pick vegetables or cannabis out in the fields.

The best movie about a suspicious piano player down in Mexico?

IMHO it's not necessarily smoking or drinking that prematurely ages people and turns them into ghoulish spectacles before they even are fifty years old:  primarily improper hydration and excessive exposure to the sun's radiation.

I can pass for thirty-nine easily, but there are many people who cannot, and it's IMHO they didn't properly avoid the sunlight.

In some cases, such people actively sought that despicable trigger of their own accord.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, but you're going to wash the ivory keys of your piano with milk afterwards, right?

Seriously??? I don't even know where you're going with that train of thought...

[j_tour]

Seriously??? I don't even know where you're going with that train of thought...

That's right.

Just keep on walking, son.

Yeah, let's do lunch sometime.

Have your people call my people and we'll do that.

[lostinidlewonder]

Theres this help for bathing in milk.

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Just keep on walking, son.

I will... with a glass of Scotch in my hand.

(Quite possibly one of the best one-shot commercials EVER recorded by the BRILLIANT Robert Carlyle.)

[j_tour]

(Quite possibly one of the best one-shot commercials EVER recorded by the BRILLIANT Robert Carlyle.)

Sounds Jewish.  Like one of those Hollywood people one hears about so often these days.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Weren't we supposed to be talking fancy about pianofortes and clavichords or something? 

True fact, I think I am going to buy a basic clavichord....one really needs two stacked on each, but I have my handguns to take care of and I think I used to have a girlfriend somewhere....

Never mind.

Clavichords avanti!

[perfect_pitch]

Sounds Jewish.  Like one of those Hollywood people one hears about so often these days.

A Jewish Scot? That seems like something akin to finding a leprechaun or a unicorn... we're not sure it exists.

Clavichords avanti![/font]

Also, I think that's a guitar... not a clavichord. Why someone is taking a sander to it, I don't know - but hey, most modern music has just been a bunch of wank the last 25 years.

[j_tour]

Also, I think that's a guitar... not a clavichord. Why someone is taking a sander to it, I don't know - but hey, most modern music has just been a bunch of wank the last 25 years.

Oh....well it resembles a clavichord.

Music of just the past twenty-five years?  99% of pop music has always been crap, since forever.

[eee-_-]

Last post

[perfect_pitch]

Last post

Nope... not even close, but I love your naivety and innocence in thinking you can win this thread.

[j_tour]

Nope... not even close, but I love your naivety and innocence in thinking you can win this thread.

"naïvité"?  "innocence"?

What are those code words for? 

[perfect_pitch]

Usually a substitute for the inability to win. It was my way of gently letting eee-_e know that he's fighting a battle he can't possibly win.

[j_tour]

Usually a substitute for the inability to win. It was my way of gently letting eee-_e know that he's fighting a battle he can't possibly win.

Well that's the kind of civilized, well reasoned talk that I can't stand around this thread.

Get mad, you sumbitch!

Insult someone or something vehemently and with furious outrage!

[perfect_pitch]

Well that's the kind of civilized, well reasoned talk that I can't stand around this thread.

Get mad, you sumbitch!

Insult someone or something vehemently and with furious outrage!

I shall neither raise my voice nor resort to coarse expressions on this occasion. Such indignation is best reserved for matters of true consequence—such as the defence of a lady whose honour has been affronted, or the spirited rebuke of one’s favoured footballers when they fail to secure a goal that appeared, to any reasonable observer, well within their grasp.

[j_tour]

I shall neither raise my voice nor resort to coarse expressions on this occasion. Such indignation is best reserved for matters of true consequence—such as the defence of a lady whose honour has been affronted, or the spirited rebuke of one’s favoured footballers when they fail to secure a goal that appeared, to any reasonable observer, well within their grasp.

I didn't notice that you tipped the brim of your fedora, kind sir.

A mere oversight, one is sure.

[perfect_pitch]

[gasplamey]

ur

Glasd to see mu genius is rubbing offs.

[moonlight88]

Glasd to see mu genius is rubbing offs.

[j_tour]

Oh no.  It's the kids again.

It's all right:  I have a trigger lock for the shotgun in case they find it and wish to pursue mischief.

Why someone is taking a sander to it, I don't know

I think that might be an angle grinder, or a dremel-style tool with a really big circular cutting blade attached to it.  I'm not really up on the latest techniques used by striplings of the world of music.