Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Also... I just wanted to be the 10,000th post on this thread.

I WIN!!!

[ahinton]

If you're not endeavouring to win, then why do you keep trying???

I don't.

Actually, you don't need to answer that if you don't want to

I am well aware of that.

and if you do - I won't read it anyway.

Your choice. Not my problem.

Best,

Alistair

[j_tour]

Plus, quotes don't prove a damn thing. For example:

I've always wondered if my dear friend Alistair — and, yes, I do wish him all the very best — would consider carving a pedestrian wooden tool, such as an axe handle, and sand it finely enough they I might sit on it every morning and thank my secular provider for this marvelous excitement.

You said a wonderful thing.

Best,

j_bongrip_pommie

[perfect_pitch]

No offence, but the words 'Dear Friend' and 'Alistair' have never been uttered out of my mouth in the same sentence, nor entered into a thread.

Meh - the faking a quote thing has already gotten old.

[lostinidlewonder]

It's from someone named pitched_prefect

[perfect_pitch]

I know... who the hell is this arsehole 'pitched_prefect' who thinks he can win this thread.

Guarantee it'll be the last we hear of him.

[ahinton]

I know... who the hell is this arsehole 'pitched_prefect' who thinks he can win this thread.

Guarantee it'll be the last we hear of him.

Be that as it may, he/she is clearly not a member of this forum, a fact which presumably speaks for itself...

Best,

Alistair

[perfect_pitch]

I can't believe I was lucky enough to be the 10,000th poster on this thread.

I aim to be the 20,000th poster as well... assuming you all think you can keep up with me.

[Bob]

*And then Bob brought treats for everyone in the thread.*     It's high quality.

[perfect_pitch]

Bob... you can't just get rid of your tainted cat milk like that - have some pride in yourself; whoring yourself out on the internet through a cheap internet advert.

You need to be out there - get a little table and yell as a vendor on the side streets, like they do in the old Italian towns.

[outin]

I aim to be the 20,000th poster as well... assuming you all think you can keep up with me.

Well...I aim to win way before you reach that number...might not be that difficult after seeing the headlines from down there...

"Funnel-web spiders: 'bonanza' of sightings expected due to hot and wet weather"

[perfect_pitch]

Well...I aim to win way before you reach that number...might not be that difficult after seeing the headlines from down there...

"Funnel-web spiders: 'bonanza' of sightings expected due to hot and wet weather"

They're that big - you can see them a MILE away.

[visitor]

[Bob]

And then...

https://i.imgur.com/hu6pH4z.mp4

[perfect_pitch]

Well... to add a bit of positivity to this thread, I found this.



[Edit: I HATE the embedding rules on this page]

[j_tour]

Stop reading my diary, fool!

[perfect_pitch]

Is that some sort of character layout from D&D???

[j_tour]

Is that some sort of character layout from D&D???

I don't know.  What's a D&D?  Like some mad and uncool thing from the Pacific islands?

[outin]

These personality tests are BS...I never killed a rodent!

Oh damn...another memory failure...

[j_tour]

These personality tests are BS...I never killed a rodent!

Oh damn...another memory failure...

I was not at all surprised by the results of your examination.

Dispatching rodents and other species by hand is an advanced lesson. 

One which I hope you never have to encounter. 

Best,

j_

[outin]

Dispatching rodents and other species by hand is an advanced lesson. 

One which I hope you never have to encounter. 

It is something that I have encountered many times, but always tried to do it with as little distress and pain as possible...and I do not find any special pleasure in it.

I wonder where you find yourself on that scale...

[perfect_pitch]

I never killed a rodent!

I've had to. I had a couple in the roof, and unfortunately the mouse trap didn't fully kill him, so I had to introduce him to doctor foot.

I don't feel bad about it though, the little f@#$ers were keeping me up at night.

[outin]

What!!?? No cat??



TBH my "official results" on this BS used to be controversial...I guess depending on which one of my multiples got the upper hand...

[j_tour]

What!!?? No cat??

It's hairier than a fish taco.  But it's pretty good. 

Best regards,

j_

[outin]

It's hairier than a fish taco.  But it's pretty good. 

I don't want hair on my plate...

[mrcreosote]

Gates and Zuckerberg:  proof that evil can succeed.

Well... to add a bit of positivity to this thread, I found this.



[Edit: I HATE the embedding rules on this page]

[j_tour]

I don't want hair on my plate...

I hope they stuffed it with peeled mice before serving.  Much like an egg-laying hen, the cat should be used for mousing before it is finished being plumped up.

The rosemary sprigs and studded garlic about the body are indeed one of the signs of the traditional preparation, so I assume the cavity was stuffed with a few peeled mice.

[perfect_pitch]

Sometimes, it's comments like that, that make me grateful that you don't live in my country.

You're a little weird J_Tour.

[j_tour]

Sometimes, it's comments like that, that make me grateful that you don't live in my country.

You're a little weird J_Tour.

I try to appreciate different cultures:  the classic preparation of cat includes serving it with the head on.  For some uncultivated Westerners, it may be unfamiliar, but I respect tradition.

But, yes, I have killed two mice with snap traps in the past few months.  I didn't take any especial pleasure in the act, but it's good practice.

[perfect_pitch]

Okay - serious question J_Tour... every single time I've set up the old traditional mouse traps:



The mice have managed to pick the damn thing clean pretty much EVERY TIME, without setting it off. Have mice gotten to the point where they're too smart to fall for this type of trap?

[j_tour]

Okay - serious question J_Tour... every single time I've set up the old traditional mouse traps:



The mice have managed to pick the damn thing clean pretty much EVERY TIME, without setting it off. Have mice gotten to the point where they're too smart to fall for this type of trap?

Yeah, I always thought mice were pretty dumb, compared to rats, but they seem to have their moments of insight.

My recipe is a bit of animal fat (bacon grease, chicken fat, things like that), studded with a few morsels of a crumbled sweet pastry, like bits of a cookie/biscuit.

But then, I've only caught/killed two, so I'm not an expert.

[outin]

The mice have managed to pick the damn thing clean pretty much EVERY TIME, without setting it off. Have mice gotten to the point where they're too smart to fall for this type of trap?

Are the mice getting smarter or the humans more stupid?

[perfect_pitch]

Are the mice getting smarter or the humans more stupid?

Have you BEEN on YouTube lately??? It's amazing what gets millions of views these days.

I maintain that if you don't have millions of views on your videos, then either your intellectual, have talent... and aren't willing to debase yourself like some of the other monkeys on the internet.

[j_tour]

Have you BEEN on YouTube lately??? It's amazing what gets millions of views these days.

I maintain that if you don't have millions of views on your videos, then either your intellectual, have talent... and aren't willing to debase yourself like some of the other monkeys on the internet.

I once ate some dog feces for the lulz. 

[perfect_pitch]

I once ate some dog feces for the lulz.

And did anyone film it??? If not, you missed an opportunity.

[outin]

Have you BEEN on YouTube lately??? It's amazing what gets millions of views these days.

I almost never watch YT videos. Except for music performances of course.

I am disappointed in you however...spend less time polluting your head with trash and THINK. Don't want mice around? Just get a cat or two! And no, cat videos won't do the trick...

[perfect_pitch]

Just get a cat or two!

And have them shed, scratch and piss on everything I own? That sounds worse than the mice.

[outin]

And have them shed, scratch and piss on everything I own? That sounds worse than the mice.

Cats are easily trained to behave and there's the hairless version!

[gep]

Cats are easily trained to behave and there's the hairless version!

Cats easily learn how to get their own way.

 I MISS MY CAT!

By the way, peanut butter works a treat on mice, but if you have them in some dark nook (I recall one swift one behind a big closet), putting down a plastic bag with the opening in front of the route of the mouse (mice scent and then keep to their tracks) might help too; the mentioned one sat in one such bag within minutes of placing it, with the cat, put there in an earlier attempt to get the mouse, sound asleep next to it.

Yes, there are hairless cats. I'm sure they are nice, but sad too; they need to be kept warm and bathed to get the skinfat, that would normally go into their fur, of them.

[j_tour]

they need to be kept warm and bathed to get the skinfat, that would normally go into their fur, of them.

That's a very feminine trait.

"Bathe the Skinfat" could be a good movie title or a band name.

[perfect_pitch]

Okay, while a hairless cat might not shed - they look as ugly as sin.
And if you are trying to prove to me that cats can be trained...

I think this proves... Cats are arseholes.

[outin]

Okay, while a hairless cat might not shed - they look as ugly as sin.
And if you are trying to prove to me that cats can be trained...

I think this proves... Cats are arseholes.

They might be, but that does not mean they cannot be trained. Stupid owners will let them have the upper hand like in the video. If I tell my cats no they will abide because they know I am the boss cat.

[perfect_pitch]

If I tell my cats no they will abide because they know I am the boss cat.

Sure... all they do is wait till your asleep and then tear out your jugular.

Yeah... cats are nothing but adorable little fluffballs...

 

[ahinton]

Sure... all they do is wait till your asleep and then tear out your jugular.

Presumably that fate has yet to befall outin, however, otherwise he would no longer be able to contribute to this or any other thread...

Best,

Alistair

[perfect_pitch]

I can't believe I have to go back to work in less than a week... I was so enjoying the summer holidays.

[j_tour]

I can't believe I have to go back to work in less than a week... I was so enjoying the summer holidays.

Get back into the bush and put out those damned fires, you fancy lad! 

[outin]

I can't believe I have to go back to work in less than a week... I was so enjoying the summer holidays.

Summer? In January? You people really are upside down, aren't you?

[perfect_pitch]

Summer? In January? You people really are upside down, aren't you?

Hey - we have an excuse to drink beer on Christmas day... and that's usually because it's 43 degrees celsius and bloody SWELTERING!!!

It's not that bad. Plus, when I fly to Scotland to visit family at Christmas, it's always icy cold and a great way to escape the summer heat.

[ahinton]

Summer? In January? You people really are upside down, aren't you?

No; he's based in Western Australia, as his profile demonstrates and j_tour's response earlier today indicates.

Best,

Alistair

[outin]

No; he's based in Western Australia, as his profile demonstrates and j_tour's response earlier today indicates.

Exactly!