Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

I am sure our friend j_tourette will appreciate this one

Well, duh.

It's a very exciting photograph, and I admire the masculine stamina involved.  Ron Jeremey could have done no better.

But, since it is Ash Wednesday worldwide, I should like to draw the attention of the board to a mediocre erotic portrayal of flesh and spirit, as one. 

[outin]

I have no idea what ash wednesday is (hopefully not something connected to your pyromaniac tendencies?)... Anyway, here's some relaxing piano music for you!

[perfect_pitch]

Somewhere in the world, is a desperate composer who is hoping his music will be used in a beautiful Oscar-winning movie...

Instead, it's being used to accompany a video of what looks like Bug Rape...

...or possibly a re-enactment of how Harvey Weinstein liked to do business.   

[ahinton]

Somewhere in the world, is a desperate composer who is hoping his music will be used in a beautiful Oscar-winning movie...

Instead, it's being used to accompany a video of what looks like Bug Rape...

I probably wouldn't have recognised that the creation of this sound track required the services of an actual composer had you not mentioned it...

...or possibly a re-enactment of how Harvey Weinstein liked to do business.   

!!!

Best,

Alistair

[outin]

Somewhere in the world, is a desperate composer who is hoping his music will be used in a beautiful Oscar-winning movie...

Instead, it's being used to accompany a video of what looks like Bug Rape...

...or possibly a re-enactment of how Harvey Weinstein liked to do business.   

It is astonishing how estranged some of you young people are from nature... To not see the harmony in those beautiful creatures doing what they are supposed to do...

[ahinton]

It is astonishing how estranged some of you young people are from nature... To not see the harmony in those beautiful creatures doing what they are supposed to do...

I believe that perfect_pitch was referring more to the accompanying score than to what's portrayed...

Best,

Alistair

[perfect_pitch]

It is astonishing how estranged some of you young people are from nature...

Meh - I blame David Attenborough. BOMBARDING us with nature documentary after nature documentary. Once you're seen 6 different documentaries about lions, it all becomes rather boring and homogenous.

[outin]

Meh - I blame David Attenborough. BOMBARDING us with nature documentary after nature documentary. Once you're seen 6 different documentaries about lions, it all becomes rather boring and homogenous.

True...but not all lions are boring...

[perfect_pitch]

It's a moth... they're even MORE boring than the lions themselves.

[Bob]

[j_tour]

Oh, come on people.  Yeah, I grant that not everybody knows what Ash Wednesday is, but I find it hard to believe most people haven't heard of Mardi Gras or Carnival.    Do people really not know why Carnival or Mardi Gras exists?  It's not very obscure, you know.  It's not like some dudebros just decided "Whoohoo!  Tuesday yo!  Rock on!"

No, I'm not a Jeebus nut but it's just common knowledge, AFAIC.



ETA And, no thanks, I'm not sheltering no kids no way.  I hate children, and I hate cops.  Pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

Sure do like those cherry pies, though. 

Signed, dictated but not read,

Not Humbert Humbert

[perfect_pitch]

Where in good mother of f@#$ing crazy what did you find that???

What person has the TIME to make s@#t like this?!?

...and WHY?!?

[outin]

Oh, come on people.  Yeah, I grant that not everybody knows what Ash Wednesday is, but I find it hard to believe most people haven't heard of Mardi Gras or Carnival.    Do people really not know why Carnival or Mardi Gras exists?  It's not very obscure, you know.  It's not like some dudebros just decided "Whoohoo!  Tuesday yo!  Rock on!"

In fact I think that's exactly how all those silly religious feasts were created...and no, while I may have heard of them I don't know anything about the reasons for Murder Grass or Carnivore...nor do I care really...

[perfect_pitch]

In fact I think that's exactly how all those silly religious feasts were created...and no, while I may have heard of them I don't know anything about the reasons for Carnivore...

Vegans... blame it on the Vegans.

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - your cinemagraphs have very little impact on this thread. They're a dime a dozen now.

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

[outin]

For Bob

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - we have spiders like that in Australia... nothing a baseball bat can't fix.

[outin]

Meh - we have spiders like that in Australia... nothing a baseball bat can't fix.

I know, that's why it was for bob.

And to win of course

[perfect_pitch]

And to win of course

That's funny... what makes you think you can win?

[outin]

That's funny... what makes you think you can win?

Cause I am a natural born winner of course!

[perfect_pitch]

Cause I am a natural born winner of course!

Again, that's hilarious and all, but now I need a serious answer.

You're competing against a Scotsman who has whiskey for blood and sweats awesomeness.

You think you can win against me?

[outin]

Again, that's hilarious and all, but now I need a serious answer.

You're competing against a Scotsman who has whiskey for blood and sweats awesomeness.

You think you can win against me?

You Scots are like babies against us Finns...my blood consists of tar and Koskenkorva and I sweat resin.

[perfect_pitch]

my blood consists of tar and Koskenkorva

The reason that's such a poor statement of strength, is because I had to google what the hell Koskenkorva is.

[j_tour]

The reason that's such a poor statement of strength, is because I had to google what the hell Koskenkorva is.

Oh, blah blah.

My blood is at least 50% American blended whiskey, 50% Powers Gold, 50% nasty eau de vie from French fur trappers from the lowlands distilled in lead pots and 50% hard coffee. 

All contained in a neat container of whupass.

And with a side of blood sausage and whatever bread comes out of the oven.

And whatever unconsecrated wine I can get from out the church.

[perfect_pitch]

My blood is at least 50% American blended whiskey, 50% Powers Gold, 50% nasty eau de vie from French fur trappers from the lowlands distilled in lead pots and 50% hard coffee. 

And possibly 100% unable to understand percentages...

(or should that be 200%...    )

[outin]

And possibly 100% unable to understand percentages...

(or should that be 200%...    )

He's definitely 200% nuts

[j_tour]

He's definitely 200% nuts

Bah.

A little damage to the frontal lobe is good for you:  puts hair on your chest.

Anyway, you've got to be a tiny bit nuts to play music:  there's very little percentage in it.

[outin]

Bah.

A little damage to the frontal lobe is good for you:  puts hair on your chest.

Anyway, you've got to be a tiny bit nuts to play music:  there's very little percentage in it.

Chest hair would be handy in this cold climate but unfortunately I have none, so I guess my frontal lobe is intact. What would you suggest? Traditional lobotomy? That should be easy to do at home..,

[j_tour]

Chest hair would be handy in this cold climate but unfortunately I have none, so I guess my frontal lobe is intact. What would you suggest? Traditional lobotomy? That should be easy to do at home..,

Sure.  I recommend to those starting out a strict training diet of corn liquor, and then start experimenting with stage dives off a good PA speaker landing on one's head.

The correct path to brain damage is really a multi-pronged approach:  you have to destroy the limbic system chemically, and compound the damage by rigorous physical trauma.  Other variants are best reserved for more advanced acolytes.

I hear young children talking about home lobotomies, and trepanning, quite a bit these days.  I can't recommend either technique, but, you'll know if either is right for you.  It would be an excellent question for a teacher, even a piano instructor.

[perfect_pitch]

Sure.  I recommend to those starting out a strict training diet of corn liquor, and then start experimenting with stage dives off a good PA speaker landing on one's head.

The correct path to brain damage is really a multi-pronged approach:  you have to destroy the limbic system chemically, and compound the damage by rigorous physical trauma.  Other variants are best reserved for more advanced acolytes.

Meh - sounds like too much work. I'll pass. I've got chest hair already, and I live in one of the hottest countries in the world.

Preferably I could do without the chest hair.

[outin]

The correct path to brain damage is really a multi-pronged approach:  you have to destroy the limbic system chemically,

I did a lot of that when young...but unfortunately my brain is still only mildly damaged if at all...
I wonder if eating cat poop would do the trick (toxoplasma is known to work wonders in the brain)?

[perfect_pitch]

I wonder if eating cat poop would do the trick (toxoplasma is known to work wonders in the brain)?

It might kill you...

[although, that would make my triumph in this thread far easier...]

You know what Outin

[j_tour]

I don't believe you have to eat the cat stool specimens to get the full benefit.

Direct inhalation (one need not insufflate --- the airborne fragments entering the nasal passages can be sufficient), or light application to the area surrounding the eyes should be enough.

Mad cow disease (BSE) has been shown to be effective as well, if not is not a cat fancier.

[outin]

Mad cow disease (BSE) has been shown to be effective as well, if not is not a cat fancier.

Sorry, I dislike red meat too much to get BSE.

I do love fish in almost any form though...but that's mostly harmless, as tapeworms don't usually go to brain. And even the round ones they eat in Japan just kill you too fast to really enjoy being brain dead...

We don't even have the brain eating amebas here. The waters are too cool for them.
I did get a nasty rash once from a lake but it only affected my face, not the insides of my head. Itched like hell though...

[j_tour]

Sorry, I dislike red meat too much to get BSE.

I do love fish in almost any form though..

Ah.  A man who enjoys eating good fish.  I know just what you mean!  Very good stuff!  I could murder some grass right now, as long as it's got the protein of the sea in it!

So, you just trap a feral pig or a neighbor's pet pig, and feed it cow brains, than eat the pig!

It's a nice lighter meat. 

Delicious!  And disabling!

[outin]

Ah.  A man who enjoys eating good fish.  I know just what you mean!  Very good stuff!  I could murder some grass right now, as long as it's got the protein of the sea in it!

So, you just trap a feral pig or a neighbor's pet pig, and feed it cow brains, than eat the pig!

It's a nice lighter meat. 

Delicious!  And disabling!

Sorry, don't eat pig meat either...chicken is fine though. Never eaten chicken brain though... I wonder if it will satisfy my appetite...

[j_tour]

Sorry, don't eat pig meat either...chicken is fine though. Never eaten chicken brain though... I wonder if it will satisfy my appetite...

You know.

You people.

You take a chicken.

You get the brain of a cow:  I don't know where you live, but I can get me a cow brain easy.  Or used to be able to.

You cage the chicken.

You feed it the calf brain.  Mix it with a little skeletal matter, because chickens like that, although they'll eat anything.

Then you the eat the chicken!

Gawd, have to tell you people everything!

THEN you get the brain damage!

It's so simple.

Or, you could just play guitar.

Ask your doctor if self-inflicted brain damage is right for you, or call one of our specialists right now who are waiting to tell you if brain damage is the right choice for you today.  Call now!  Repeat customers are eligible to enter a chance to win at winning the thread.  Members with a ten-k mark are not eligible, some restrictions may apply.  Send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Pueblo, Colorado. 

[perfect_pitch]

Or, you could just play guitar.

That made me laugh.

Ask your doctor if self-inflicted brain damage is right for you, or call one of our specialists right now who are waiting to tell you if brain damage is the right choice for you today. 

I've been told by my doctor that my intelligence is too precious to waste, and must keep my intellect in top condition.

Sorry, but brain damage for me is not an option.

[ahinton]

I've been told by my doctor that my intelligence is too precious to waste, and must keep my intellect in top condition.

Sorry, but brain damage for me is not an option.

Perhaps so, but taking your doctor's advice is one; given the content of certain of your posts elsewhere, you might do well to ensure that you take it.

Best,

Alistair

[perfect_pitch]

I hate the way that most stock photos now have watermarks all over them stating which site they're from now...

It used to be that you could get a photo of practically anything and they were circulate so much, no one used to tag them.

[Bob]

Hm.



It's worth a shot, if it means winning the thread....





*Bob coughs quietly....* 

[j_tour]

I hate the way that most stock photos now have watermarks all over them stating which site they're from now...

It used to be that you could get a photo of practically anything and they were circulate so much, no one used to tag them.

I agree.  It's infuriating, offensive, and completely beyond the pale of any decent conduct.

It makes me want to ritually sacrifice a human and drink his or her blood in a Black Mass.

But.  I can't.  I have to start with animals. 

I know.  Can't run before you can walk. 

I know.

But in the future, I can work up to it.

[lostinidlewonder]

I know I win.

[perfect_pitch]

It makes me want to ritually sacrifice a human and drink his or her blood in a Black Mass.

I volunteer Alistair.   

 

[ahinton]

I volunteer Alistair.   

 

I'm not sure how you could do that...

Best,

Alistair

[perfect_pitch]

I volunteer Alistair.   

[ahinton]

I wish you luck with that!

Interesting, though (albeit not very) how you now seem to be having recourse to the words of others rather than writing your own. Never mind; your prerogative, of course (FWIW)...

Best,

Alistair