Last post wins!!!!!

[john30]

Any thoughts of this piano sounds? 

[outin]

Any thoughts of this piano sounds?

I did not have high expectations after seeing the title but it turned out to be even worse...10 seconds was enough for me...

[perfect_pitch]

John30... please stop fishing for views. I suspect that you took a whole bunch of music that you didn't own the rights to, took other peoples videos that you didn't own the rights to - slowed it down to about 3 frames per second and then called it your own creation.

I barely got past the 10 second mark either, and I sure as hell don't intend to listen to it.

[j_tour]

Ah, no.

He was probably just eating some garmabonzia.

No.  I'm not listening to that either.

But have you heard Angela Hewitt's recent-ish recording of Art of Fugue?

Little known fact, I actually recorded about half of it of it by punching in at the studio.  She was busy traveling, so it was a personal favor for her.

[perfect_pitch]

Was that on the Fazioli that was UNFORTUNATELY lost to the ages???

[visitor]

It's time. After all that has happened , you all are finally ready

[outin]

It's time. After all that has happened , you all are finally ready

Well...I lasted longer than 10 seconds on this one...That should give a clue to john30.

[perfect_pitch]

It's time. After all that has happened , you all are finally ready

Oh... you prick. I didn't even get to the 5 second mark...

I hate you. You know what???

REVENGE, YOU FUCKERS!!!

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

Is that a selfie of you Bob??? Would explain a lot.   

[j_tour]

Was that on the Fazioli that was UNFORTUNATELY lost to the ages???

Well, that was the story to the press.   And it sold well, but then you all people had your whole "ZOMG monkeys and koalas are everywhere on fiire!"

Yeah, it was a bit attention-grabbing, but it was pretty effective.

[perfect_pitch]

Well, that was the story to the press.   And it sold well, but then you all people had your whole "ZOMG monkeys and koalas are everywhere on fiire!"

You're a bit late to the party J_Tour - I asked that 4 days ago.

KEEP UP!!!

[j_tour]

You're a bit late to the party J_Tour - I asked that 4 days ago.

KEEP UP!!!

Oh, I keep it up all right.  You're talking to the original sixty minute man, here.

[perfect_pitch]

Oh, I keep it up all right.  You're talking to the original sixty minute man, here.

Well... glad to see the little blue pills work for you then.   

 

[j_tour]

Well... glad to see the little blue pills work for you then.   

 

Little blue pills.

Nah, that's for amateurs. 

I just inject cocaine right into my sack. 

And the women are none the wiser.

"Excuse me a moment, honey, I just have to go to the little boys' room and powder my jock.  Don't you go changing, sugar!"

[perfect_pitch]

So now your sack has more holes than a flute??? Nice to know...

[j_tour]

Hey man, I didn't invite you to play it.

Yeah, it's a regular ocarina down there.

A very impressive instrument, I've heard.

[outin]

What a cute image for this exceptionally lazy Monday morning...thanks! I only wonder if you can play it yourself? Seems to demand some flexibility...

Does it sound anything like a bag pipe then?

[j_tour]

Well, I appreciate the interest, but, no, I don't know what my perforated ball-sack sounds like.

Among those who've heard it live, I doubt there's much of a concensus there either.

"OMG jack's ball sack stinks like a sweaty jock strap and it sounds bad, like some Peter Brötzmann saxophone music."

I'm guessing is what the ladies say.  Some of them like it, I'd say, but I really couldn't say why.  That's their problem.

No real way of knowing.

[outin]

"OMG jack's ball sack stinks like a sweaty jock strap and it sounds bad, like some Peter Brötzmann saxophone music."

Free jazz?? If your sack sounds like Brötzmann, i'd say lets play!

[perfect_pitch]

Free jazz?? If your sack sounds like Brötzmann, i'd say lets play!

You might be willing to get down on him and give it a blow...

I ain't touching that with a 60-foot pole.

[j_tour]

You might be willing to get down on him and give it a blow...

I ain't touching that with a 60-foot pole.

And you'd be right.

I don't even beat off without wearing PPE.  Gloves and chemistry-lab splash goggles.  As a prophylactic, I use a blowtorch loaded with MAP gas.  And that's just for my own protection.

And yeah, it's nuts down there.  Brötzmann, Lester Bowie.  Cecil Taylor.

It's not something for the timid, I'll tell you.

[j_tour]

Free jazz?? If your sack sounds like Brötzmann, i'd say lets play!

I don't think Brötzmaann would agree.  Think more like Cecil Taylor. 

It's a hot mess over at my place, and I don't think any reasonable person would be having any of it.

[outin]

So I guess the usual precautions won't do...we need something more thorough...

[j_tour]

Oh, come on, man.  You all are a bunch of perverts or something.

Well...I can't really judge since I'm a fat hypocrite, but honestly. 

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

sh*t.

[outin]

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

sh*t.

It's not customary to show affection in my family...

There really is nothing to worry about. I don't have a horse and my cats are able to keep their private parts clean without my help (except occasional removal of hair rings from studs). So I don't mind practicing with you, how hard can it be? Just come on over and let me help. I'll need to test you for covid first of course...

[compline]

[outin]

I cannot stand the original, so don't expect me to click on that...

And do not mess with the header!

[j_tour]

So I don't mind practicing with you, how hard can it be? Just come on over and let me help. I'll need to test you for covid first of course...

I think you'd really regret that.

It's the kind of act that inspires words like "premeditated," "callous indifference," "heinous savagery," and "wanton disregard."

You'd have to wear a blonde wig and a few other pieces from the costume trunk, as well.  And never look me in the eye, ever.  Those are just the basic rules.

[outin]

I think you'd really regret that.

It's the kind of act that inspires words like "premeditated," "callous indifference," "heinous savagery," and "wanton disregard."

You'd have to wear a blonde wig and a few other pieces from the costume trunk, as well.  And never look me in the eye, ever.  Those are just the basic rules.

How do you know I am not a blonde??
And I have no intention of looking at your eyes, I have to concentrate on the operation at hand...you don't want me to break anything down there...

[j_tour]

How do you know I am not a blonde??
And I have no intention of looking at your eyes, I have to concentrate on the operation at hand...you don't want me to break anything down there...

That's right!  Just keep your head down, fool!

[outin]

That's right!  Just keep your head down, fool!

Cool...

But to be honest, I am not a blonde
You don't care for cute brunettes at all? I'll just have to offer my cleaning services elsewhere then...

[j_tour]

Cool...

But to be honest, I am not a blonde
You don't care for cute brunettes at all? I'll just have to offer my cleaning services elsewhere then...

Actually I do prefer darker-complexioned in hair and eye color.

Also, I don't prefer them taller than 5'2" at the maximum.

No, I'm not prejudiced, but I do have some standards.

In another life, good fellow.

[outin]

Also, I don't prefer them taller than 5'2" at the maximum.

What's wrong with you people? Every civilized person uses metrics... I have no idea how much that archaic measument is... But whatever, I am not going to chop my legs (or my head), I find my length pretty practical. Perfect actually

[perfect_pitch]

Oh for goodness sake Outin... it's good mathematics at least to know about converting from imperial to metric.

But you are right - it's archaic and primitive. Can't believe some guy years ago had a 30.5 cm large foot.

[outin]

Oh for goodness sake Outin... it's good mathematics at least to know about converting from imperial to metric.

It's a waste of my time and believe it or not, I've never ever needed to except on piano forums. Normally I only deal with sane Europeans...

[j_tour]

It's a waste of my time and believe it or not, I've never ever needed to except on piano forums. Normally I only deal with sane Europeans...

I agree, the British should be sent to reeducation camps.

No taller than 157 centimeters.

At the outside, add a half centimeter.

At the minimum?  Well, I don't know.  I think midgets are funny.

[outin]

I agree, the British should be sent to reeducation camps.

No taller than 157 centimeters.

Unless you're a giant they still have to kneel down then...

[j_tour]

Unless you're a giant they still have to kneel down then...

Yeah, I got a giant right here, sonny boy.  A real monster.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, I got a giant right here, sonny boy.  A real monster.

What... your club foot?   

[j_tour]

What... your club foot?   

That's right.  The last time I took a sauna, somebody thought I was in there with my son.

Real Milton Berle type stuff. 

[perfect_pitch]

And yet another obscure reference - no one else gets.

How old are you J_Tour? I don't think you have the stamina to keep up with me.

[j_tour]

And yet another obscure reference - no one else gets.

How old are you J_Tour? I don't think you have the stamina to keep up with me.

Plenty old enough to know better. 

Respect for one's elders, son, is a sign of character!

Eh, forget it, just you punks stay off my lawn.

I'm the same age as Jack Benny.  Thirty-nine.

Don't even be encouraging me to grab the violin!  I wouldn't inflict my playing of string instruments on my worst enemy, let along a fretless one that sounds like a cat being skinned even in the hands of a maestro.

ETA In the interest of honesty, I just turned forty-four, FWIW.  But that's a hard 44, so don't even think about getting a gang of some your young hoodlum pals to try to roll me in a parking lot.  I got it covered.  Music?  Eh, work in progress.  I'm putting my book of rep back together, and some of it's OK.  But busting punks?  Sh*t, I got a doctorate in kicking a**.

Milton Berle, Jack Benny?  Obscure references?  I don't think so, not hardly.  Old school, sure, but not that obscure.

[visitor]

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - didn't Family guy use that joke an almost infinite amount of times that it became no longer funny???

[j_tour]

Meh, Gandalf ain't got nothing on me, that little baby junior sonofabitch.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah - most of the weirdos on YouTube are characters...

I'd prefer to call them 'pricks'. Usually over the top, over-acting, narcissistic dweebs on tell you to hit the 'like' button, as if somehow their ego is tied to how many subscribers they have.

[j_tour]

Yeah - most of the weirdos on YouTube are characters...

I'd prefer to call them 'pricks'. Usually over the top, over-acting, narcissistic dweebs on tell you to hit the 'like' button, as if somehow their ego is tied to how many subscribers they have.

Hey!  That's my head of state you're talking about, you Scott Morrison-loving MF!

Oh.

Well, can they at least whup batman's arse? 

That's what I need from my utube celebutards.  (i) Whup Batman's arse (ii) suck a cheetah's dee, also, if he or she has time.

[outin]

Well, can they at least whup batman's arse? 

Didn't we already settle the batman thing?

But did you notice the study that batmen do not get the corona disease? So it can only whup your arse...

[perfect_pitch]

Hey!  That's my head of state you're talking about

I've said MULTIPLE times that I hate Scott Morrison... I think he's an idiot. And who were you talking about...

I don't know any head of State's who are on YouTube?