Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

I like midgets because they're immune to ebola.

[perfect_pitch]

And your scientific evidence for this is...

...where???

[lostinidlewonder]

SHORTEST WIN EVER

You had your win for less than a minute. Did you enjoy it?

Yes, now I hold both the LONGEST and the SHORTEST. I just have winning all over. I give thee permission to be in my presence.

[perfect_pitch]

You don't have the longest win ever. I once made it 10 days without anyone ever posting, so your claim is wrong. I HOLD the longest win so far.

You mere mortals are paltry compared to my accomplishments.

[lostinidlewonder]

You don't have the longest win ever. I once made it 10 days without anyone ever posting, so your claim is wrong. I HOLD the longest win so far.

You mere mortals are paltry compared to my accomplishments.

Quiet you failure!!!
https://www.pianostreet.com/smf/index.php?topic=51107.msg558380#msg558380

[perfect_pitch]

[compline]

Well there is augmented reality and demented reality, bud.
 Sadly you are the latter! 



 

[j_tour]

You mere mortals are paltry compared to my accomplishments.

So what you're saying is that you're (i) a Highlander (ii) there can be only one and (iii) I have to cut your head off in order to win The Prize.

[perfect_pitch]

(i) No... I'm an alien - there's a difference.
(ii) No, I am a representative of my race finding out all your weaknesses and reporting them back to my kind via telekinesis.
(iii) You could, but it would just grow back.

Plus, America's going to cave in on itself come election time this year - so I think you'll have bigger things to worry about.

[j_tour]

(i) No... I'm an alien - there's a difference.
(ii) No, I am a representative of my race finding out all your weaknesses and reporting them back to my kind via telekinesis.
(iii) You could, but it would just grow back.

Plus, America's going to cave in on itself come election time this year - so I think you'll have bigger things to worry about.

(i) I think Highlanders are aliens.  Wasn't that in some comic book or movie or something?
(ii) Hive mind.  Typical.
(iii) I'd have to try.

The US?  No, no, we have wonderful Proud Boys who are guarding democracy.  They're great.  Just good people. 

And they're the best at operating heavy equipment like private vehicles.  I love every one of them.  God's children, each and every ........no......can't......keep going......hhsy73667498bhhhY^%#%&*#((((&^^^.

Go watch a cricket match or something, you...Highlander you!

[perfect_pitch]

Go watch a cricket match or something, you...Highlander you!

CRICKET??? Bugger me, there are better ways to pass the time.

See if you can drink Cyanide and survive...
Juggle with incredibly sharp knives...
Try and meet a friendly alligator...

All far more pleasing than watching that bloody boring sport.

[j_tour]

You know, I kind of agree with you.  Long, interminable matches of fancy lads playing stickball.

You also know, LostIn did kind of bugger you pretty well about the long stretch of winning.  You've got some catching up to do, boy.

[perfect_pitch]

You know the best thing about denial?

You don't have to admit your in denial.

 

[j_tour]

You know the best thing about denial?

You don't have to admit your in denial.

 

I never said it.  There was no premeditation, and you can't prove it.

You're out of order!  She's out of order!  This board is out of order!  Sorabji is out of order!  That cricket bat is out of order!

[lostinidlewonder]

... Sorabji is out of order!

Uh oh...... quick hide before it begins!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Uh oh...... quick hide before it begins!!!

SSSSHHHH. Don't mention the Sorabji...

I mean...

[j_tour]

Who? 

Oh yeah, I remember from one of my true crime books that there was a time this "Sorabji" (some kind of code name) was being investigated by Scotland Yard in connection with some of the "Jack the Ripper" killings, which were committed when he was just a boy.

I don't remember all the details, but it was very convincing to me.

[perfect_pitch]

[keystosuccess]

Challenge accepted 

[perfect_pitch]

Oh - fresh meat. Excellent - I was getting hungry.

Keys... you are joining a battle that has RAGED on for years, and you know not one thing of the backstory. Despite this you seem to think you can enter and claim a win???

You're optimistic - I'll give you that...

...but unable to win this challenge.

[j_tour]

Just...word of advice...Keys.

I wouldn't bring up kangaroo scrotums, sheep-shagging or the like. 

Sorabji, though, is one of the favorite topics of discussion.

Embrace the Sorabji.  Love it.  Taste it.  Post it.

You might win after all!

[perfect_pitch]

You might win after all!

[j_tour]

Yeah, laugh while you can, monkey boy.

I just ate a bunch of sorabjiche, and I'll be on the toilet for quite a while, but I'll be back. 

And ten pounds lighter, too.

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, laugh while you can, monkey boy.

I shall... and I shall enjoy it as well. Have fun on the toilet.

[j_tour]

Have fun on the toilet.

Always do.  It was especially good, since I left a fat load that wouldn't flush, and it resembled the sitting president of the US.

I forgot to take a picture.

[perfect_pitch]

Oh yeah - how is your POTUS going??? Isn't he ill with a disease that he dismissed as not being a concern to the American people???

I take it he's curing himself with the insane amounts of hydroxychloroquine that he purchased earlier in the year? Or is he like a heroin junkie - sitting there with plastic tubing, and a syringe full of bleach?

If he makes it into a 2nd term of Presidency, then the American people have NO ONE to blame but themselves for voting him in.

[j_tour]

Oh yeah - how is your POTUS going??? Isn't he ill with a disease that he dismissed as not being a concern to the American people???

I take it he's curing himself with the insane amounts of hydroxychloroquine that he purchased earlier in the year? Or is he like a heroin junkie - sitting there with plastic tubing, and a syringe full of bleach?

If he makes it into a 2nd term of Presidency, then the American people have NO ONE to blame but themselves for voting him in.

I have no idea, but I'm not ashamed to admit I hope he and his entire family perishes.

You're right:  if these rubes vote this demented maniac again, or his second, they deserve what they get. 

You have to understand, if you're in the US, look to your right, look to your left, and one of those people is a deranged scumbag. 

It is not good.

The betting line on the Biden/Harris ticket is very much in favor of at least a reasonable person, and even two of them, but the US federal constitution has some holes in it, 

If DT dies, that's good, but it leaves Pence, a heretic, who might prevail. 

It's not good.  I do genuinely hope DT and his associates perish, and I don't understand people who say "Well, I wouldn't wish that on anybody!"  Bullsh*t.  This is war, and I want my enemies to perish. 

I live in Portland, OR, and if anybody wants any proof of what malice aforethought is, one can read a US newspaper. 

More importantly, I think actual developed countries should take this as a warning that republics can indeed fail, even if in humorous ways.  While the US can have important influence upon other international issues, it's likely better for everyone to take sides and "stand back," because it's not at all certain that the US Dept of State will have any credibiity for years to come.  Perhaps never again. 

That may be desirable to your average tinpot dictator, but despite appearances, there is some ability and force that the US can lend to regions that require and ask for foreign aid.  I don't say impose US will, but abiding by mutually beneficial treaties.

[perfect_pitch]

I have no idea, but I'm not ashamed to admit I hope he and his entire family perishes.

You're right:  if these rubes vote this demented maniac again, or his second, they deserve what they get. 

You have to understand, if you're in the US, look to your right, look to your left, and one of those people is a deranged scumbag. 

It is not good.

The betting line on the Biden/Harris ticket is very much in favor of at least a reasonable person, and even two of them, but the US federal constitution has some holes in it, 

If DT dies, that's good, but it leaves Pence, a heretic, who might prevail. 

It's not good.  I do genuinely hope DT and his associates perish, and I don't understand people who say "Well, I wouldn't wish that on anybody!"  Bullsh*t.  This is war, and I want my enemies to perish. 

I live in Portland, OR, and if anybody wants any proof of what malice aforethought is, one can read a US newspaper. 

More importantly, I think actual developed countries should take this as a warning that republics can indeed fail, even if in humorous ways.  While the US can have important influence upon other international issues, it's likely better for everyone to take sides and "stand back," because it's not at all certain that the US Dept of State will have any credibiity for years to come.  Perhaps never again. 

That may be desirable to your average tinpot dictator, but despite appearances, there is some ability and force that the US can lend to regions that require and ask for foreign aid.  I don't say impose US will, but abiding by mutually beneficial treaties.

Damn... seems like the whole political situation has a LOT of Americans tense and frustrated. Sorry to hear that.

I only had to read a few of the Twitter replies to DT posting that he had Coronavirus to realise what a lot of people really think of him.

[j_tour]

Damn... seems like the whole political situation has a LOT of Americans tense and frustrated. Sorry to hear that.

I only had to read a few of the Twitter replies to DT posting that he had Coronavirus to realise what a lot of people really think of him.

Yeah.  It's not good.  The US will be on the "disabled" list for quite some time, in terms of international law, ethics, internal strife, and the real threat of martial law, regardless of who prevails in November.

It is a broken nation, whose only hope is to hew to the letter and spirit of the extensive history of legal jurisprudence.

Here's a special message to the following infected people (except the reporters and the lowly staffer), and to the Covidic Party in general

(   President Donald Trump
    First lady Melania Trump
    Hope Hicks, senior advisor to the president
    Bill Stepien, Trump’s campaign manager
    Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel
    Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah
    Sen. Thom Tillis, R-North Carolina
    Sen. Ron Johnson, R-Wisconsin
    Three White House reporters
    One White House staffer
    Kellyanne Conway, former White House senior advisor
    The Rev. John Jenkins, president of Notre Dame University (Jenkins was at the White House Saturday, when Trump introduced Judge Amy         Coney Barrett as his Supreme Court nominee. Barrett was a law professor at Notre Dame for 15 years before Trump nominated her to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 7th Circuit.)
    Gov. Chris Christie
)

Besides, of course, the obligatory, "Lick it, morons"

[keystosuccess]

Just...word of advice...Keys.

I wouldn't bring up kangaroo scrotums, sheep-shagging or the like. 

Sorabji, though, is one of the favorite topics of discussion.

Embrace the Sorabji.  Love it.  Taste it.  Post it.

You might win after all!

okay seriously, I need the backstory on this, like... what? I am simultaneously freaked out and intrigued 

[j_tour]

okay seriously, I need the backstory on this, like... what? I am simultaneously freaked out and intrigued 

Any of those topics might enrage a certain frequent poster in this thread...which would be hilarious.

But sticking to topics related to alcohol consumption, and movies made after 2000 will placate the beast.

I think you'd just have to try it, and see what happens:  mighty curious about that myself!

Oh, and Paul Hogan is considered by all in this thread to be an outstanding example of the best of the bush.

[perfect_pitch]

okay seriously, I need the backstory on this, like... what? I am simultaneously freaked out and intrigued 

Nah - I think it's more fun if we don't divulge the back story and just let keys find out about the darkest places of this forum in his own time... and at his own discretion...

...and horror.

[j_tour]

...and horror.

I'm with keys always.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm with keys always.

You mean in spirit...

...or in the fact that you're hiding in their wardrobe, ready to pounce out at them at any given moment?

[j_tour]

...or in the fact that you're hiding in their wardrobe, ready to pounce out at them at any given moment?

That's right.  Daddy's here.  And he's waiting.

[perfect_pitch]

Keys has NO idea what he got himself into...

[j_tour]

Keys has NO idea what he got himself into...

His soul belongs to me, high servant of the Dark One.

The purgation begins and ends with suffering in this thread.

[perfect_pitch]

His soul belongs to me, high servant of the Dark One.

You're more than happy to have something that doesn't exist. Who has a soul anyway? I don't believe in that rubbish.

[j_tour]

You're more than happy to have something that doesn't exist. Who has a soul anyway? I don't believe in that rubbish.

Brainstem, dendrites, axons, vagus nerve, viscera.

It all belongs to me! 

I shall make a haggis of it! 

[perfect_pitch]

I'm sure you can just get them at your local butcher... instead of hunting your victims for it.

[j_tour]

I'm sure you can just get them at your local butcher... instead of hunting your victims for it.

My method of hunting does not taint the precious offal with which I prepare my puddings.

For I am a fisher of men.  Just like the picture of Hunter S. Thompson and his long-term companion illustrate below.

[j_tour]

Oh.  I think I might have let "other" j_tour speak.  He's special.

I apologize if my other friend spoke out of turn. 

Keys, I'd like to welcome you personally to this particular thread. 

I'm a relative newcomer myself.

Does your username indicate that you indeed have ten fingers, or is that too personal a question? 

https:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=irvJ5NkDflk

[perfect_pitch]

Just like the picture of Hunter S. Thompson and his long-term companion illustrate below.

I prefer the alternate edition...



I LOVE the fact that someone took the time to re-edit these and make them 'lol' worthy.



EDIT: Also, I love the fact that J_Tour STILL hasn't gotten the ability to embed videos down pat...

https:// www.youtube.com/ watch?v=irvJ5NkDflk

What is this... a DIY hyperlink... fill in the blanks [some assembly required]



Also J_Tour... if you want to use the Jesus card, be prepared. Some of the images I have in response get REAL DARK, real quick. Just shows what the internet thinks of the Lord almighty.

[j_tour]

EDIT: Also, I love the fact that J_Tour STILL hasn't gotten the ability to embed videos down pat...

What is this... a DIY hyperlink... fill in the blanks [some assembly required]

It could be that some Youtube videos do not render reliably when embedded, so that to preserve content one might break the link, absent a "noparse" tag.  The link is to a clip from the Alfred Hitchcock Presents episode "Man From the South."

For example:

Also J_Tour... if you want to use the Jesus card, be prepared. Some of the images I have in response get REAL DARK, real quick. Just shows what the internet thinks of the Lord almighty.

I'm the devil and I'm here to do the devil's work.  No robe required.  Age of consent?  Unlimited. 

I want to do one with the lady putting her head near the oven while baking some cookies or something, but I don't feel like it, so, someone else should.

[Bob]

*Bob gives up trying to find gifs that actually work for the rest of the post idea.* 

[perfect_pitch]

*Perfect Pitch gives Bob a cookie, and distracts him from the forum*

[j_tour]

I prefer a big platter of biscuits with lots of bacon strips.



Not pies, woman, cookies or biscuits!  And plenty of bacon strips.

[perfect_pitch]

See - Jesus is rather bossy, isn't he???

[j_tour]

See - Jesus is rather bossy, isn't he???

He only says those things because he cares.

[klavieronin]