Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

I just presumed he was American because he couldn't act; much like Megan Fox and Paris Hilton.

Who? 

I'm just going to leave that there and see if you can work out where you went wrong.

[perfect_pitch]

I didn't go wrong. William Shatner is Canadian - a mistake I made [fact]
Megan Fox is American [fact]
Paris Hilton is American [fact]

[j_tour]

I didn't go wrong. William Shatner is Canadian - a mistake I made [fact]
Megan Fox is American [fact]
Paris Hilton is American [fact]

But Paris Hilton isn't even a human being.  And Megan Fox is some wrinkled old hag. 

Neither are actors:  they're props.

[perfect_pitch]

But Paris Hilton isn't even a human being.  And Megan Fox is some wrinkled old hag. 

Paris Hilton is a carbon based homo sapien, so she is... despite how much you hate that fat, and Megan Fox did start in some major movies.

That again, technically makes them actors; or rather actresses.

[j_tour]

Megan Fox did start in some major movies.

She was excellent in the *Transformers* movies.  And *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles*.

But she's almost forty, dude, and her face looks like a deflated basketball thanks to skin damage from overexposure to the sun.

[perfect_pitch]

She was excellent in the *Transformers* movies.  And *Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles*.

Hence... Actress.

I win.

[j_tour]

Hence... Actress.

I win.

Actor. 

Bad actor.

Human prop.

Sun-worshipper.

Bigfoot enthusiast.

You win nothing!

[perfect_pitch]

Actor.

Bad actor.

You win nothing!

I won the argument!!!

[j_tour]

I won the argument!!!

Paul Hogan.  Neil Connery.

Those are actors.

Megan Fox is an aged-out shrew with skin damage who appeared in photographs, some of them appearing to capture motion at twenty-four photos per second.

You know what trait noted British television actor Trump shares with you? 

Refusal to admit defeat!

You have been beaten!

Submit!

[perfect_pitch]

You know what trait noted British television actor Trump shares with you? 

Refusal to admit defeat!

1) Trump ain't British, so don't DARE tarnish the good people of the United Kingdom by claiming he's one of them. He's American... whether you like it or not.

2) Trump was beaten by Biden, clearly and unquestionably. I haven't been beaten by you in any manner. You keep claiming you win but more times than not - you're just lagging behind. Think of it like this - this thread is like the Presidential voting. Right now, you and I are on almost 50% of the posts, but no one knows when the deadline is coming.
Problem is, I'm an argumentative and determined Scotsman, who isn't on any sort of medication - so I'm more likely to win because I have my wits about me.

[j_tour]

who isn't on any sort of medication - so I'm more likely to win because I have my wits about me.

All right, Mr. Pupkin  I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about that, is there?

And Straight Rye Whiskey is hardly a medication:  it's a reward for winning at life.

[perfect_pitch]

And Straight Rye Whiskey is hardly a medication:  it's a reward for winning at life.

EXACTLY... which is why the Scots drink it all the time. We drink it because we are winners.



Check...

...and...

Mate!!!



(Can't believe you walked into that one)

[j_tour]

EXACTLY... which is why the Scots drink it all the time. We drink it because we are winners.



Check...

...and...

Mate!!!



(Can't believe you walked into that one)

Yes, but were you drinking it at the time of that post, and this present post?

You forfeit.

Advantage IN!

Game point. 

[j_tour]

And since it's my serve, at ad in, by uncorking a bottle of Kilbeggan Single Grain, that is game to me.

Don't worry, the set is still ongoing.

And no, tennis is not for wankers, so just cancel that thought right quick.

[perfect_pitch]

And no, tennis is not for wankers, so just cancel that thought right quick.

I wasn't thinking that...

...until you put the thought in my head. Now, all I can think of (just to spite you) is that tennis is for wankers.

I mean, it's a great way to bugger up your neck - watching the ball swing left to right and back again.

[j_tour]

I mean, it's a great way to bugger up your neck - watching the ball swing left to right and back again.

Well, one needn't watch the ball.  Maria Sharapova is retired, but she was entertaining to watch from behind.  I'm sure there's something for every preference.

The game can also be played, you know.  But it's pretty difficult to play at even a consistently decent level.  It's also a bit of a psychological game, as I suppose most individual sports are:  one can attempt to deceive one's opponent while remaining entirely within the rules.  Vide Renoir Règle du jeu.

However, one has the opportunity to try to hit a less skilled opponent with a ball of great speed, which is entirely legal, unlike in pool or snooker.

For example. a classic exercise in tennis is to set a visible marker, like a plastic cone, and try to serve to that exact spot.  Dozens of times, repeating that.  Accuracy is very important.  Now imagine your opponent's head or torso as that target.  Not very difficult, if one has strong wrists and good aim.

Hustle to the net and aim for the gut or melon with a two-handed backhand or strong forehand.  Won't work with a baseline game.

It's bad form, but so is setting up to serve a good Roddick-style ace and dropping the ball just over the net when you're serving.

I think gin rummy is the only card game that approaches that kind of flexibility, and straight pool (or maybe eight-ball).  Pro-tip:  if you're ever in a fight in a pool hall, don't use the cues as weapons.  Word is, courtesy of Danny McGoorty, grab a handful of balls off the table and break somebody's teeth out.

No, I've never been in a bar room brawl over pool, but that's the word on the street. 

I'm disappointed when I see most top-tiered name players today at tennis just staying at the baseline.  Serve and volley is the better tactic.  ***, I see people of ages 60-70+ on the courts staying at the baseline:  it's like watching old people ***.  The hustle to the net is the good tactic.

[perfect_pitch]

The game can also be played, you know. 

Yes, but in a country where the sun is so disgustingly harsh, it can give you skin cancer - I'd prefer to stay inside.

[j_tour]

Yes, but in a country where the sun is so disgustingly harsh, it can give you skin cancer - I'd prefer to stay inside.

It may only be a rumor, but I've heard that there exist indoor courts.

Don't quote me on that, or anything.

Just saying, where do you think your inamorata Megan Fox got her skin condition?  Yeah, I'm telling you, she didn't know one could play tennis indoors.

What I'm saying it, last week I was checking in at a hotel and said to the bellhop I needed a hand with my bag.  So he picked up Megan Fox.  That's the truth.

[perfect_pitch]

It may only be a rumor, but I've heard that there exist indoor courts.

There's not that many in Australia... they love their sun, and sweating like a pig in the outdoor heat.

[j_tour]

There's not that many in Australia... they love their sun, and sweating like a pig in the outdoor heat.

I'm fairly sure that all professional players wear a hooded caftan of woolen materials.  Except during televised play.  It not only preserves their skin, but provides a competitive advantage when playing matches in the unencumbered fashion.

TE Lawrence's account of the Arab revolt against the Turks is considered mandatory reading among tennis fanatics, and is no doubt the source of this very old tradition in the game.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm fairly sure that all professional players wear a hooded caftan of woolen materials.  Except during televised play.  It not only preserves their skin, but provides a competitive advantage when playing matches in the unencumbered fashion.

You would wear a hooded caftan of woolen materials in 40 degree (celsius) heat???

You'd PASS OUT!!!

[j_tour]

You would wear a hooded caftan of woolen materials in 40 degree (celsius) heat???

You'd PASS OUT!!!

It is traditional!  I learned it from Bedouin nomads.

Also, most important is to severely restrict one's intake of water.

[Bob]

[perfect_pitch]

That's 8 months old, GET WITH THE TIMES!!!

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

I ain't touching that. I can't even listen to 'I'm dreaming of a white Christmas', and that was long enough ago.

[j_tour]

I ain't touching that.

Touch the monkey! 

Do it!

Touch the monkey!

[perfect_pitch]

Touch the monkey! 

Do it!

Touch the monkey!

Well, I've already tried that once, and THAT my dear friends... is why I can no longer attend Perth Zoo...

...ever.

[j_tour]

Well, I've already tried that once, and THAT my dear friends... is why I can no longer attend Perth Zoo...

...ever.

Tcheh.  Typical.  Touching the monkeys, dressing their fur with Vegemite, exposing the "little Sorabji" to them in front of the children.

I'm not happy about that.

[perfect_pitch]

Lucky for you my ego and self-esteem isn't tied into what others think of me...

What matters is what I think of me...

...and that's probably why I cry myself to sleep at nights after drinking half a bottle of Johnny Walker.

[j_tour]

Lucky for you my ego...

You'll never learn Shaolin kung-fu that way. 

Gordon Liu is not pleased.

[perfect_pitch]

Gordon Liu is not pleased.

Who cares... if he gives me crap, I'll just ask my friend Iron Man to kick his arse

[j_tour]

Who cares... if he gives me crap, I'll just ask my friend Iron Man to kick his arse

Iron Man eats a big one on a daily basis.  And Pepper Potts is a walking venereal disease to boot.

Gordon Liu has Shaolin training, not some cartoon magic computers!

He will take you down!

But, for you, drunken master is even superior!  Not even John Jameson nor the entire Cill Bheagáin (Kilbeggan) have defeated the drunken master!

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - Jet Li will take the Drunken Master any day.

[j_tour]

Jet Li's good, but he doesn't look so tough. I bet he's a lightweight at drinking Irish whiskeys.

[perfect_pitch]

IRISH WHISKEYS???

No one cares about IRISH WHISKIES!!! Everybody knows the best whisky comes from:





Bloody irish whiskies... just shameful J_Tour... seriously shameful.

Hang your head in shame and don't come back until you're ready to apologise.

[j_tour]

Hang your head in shame and don't come back until you're ready to apologise.

What?  You guys don't even spell whiskey right.  You can have your burnt barleycorn whisky any day of the week.

I'll stick with the good stuff that doesn't come from Great Britain.  Even middle of the shelf Irish will stand on its own, sought after from far and wide by those of thirst and taste.

Haggis is actually a very good sausage, and frugal economizing is an admirable trait.  But what are the Irish known for?  Drinking, and fighting.  Especially fighting Brits, but pugilism in general will do.

Even one of your more celebrated prime ministers, Churchill, was known to have favored, among other libations, Kilbeggan Irish in the old style.

You can't win this one, kid.

[Bob]

*Bob attempts to scare everyone off the thread.*


https://i.imgur.com/LtNkT4o.mp4

[j_tour]

*Bob attempts to scare everyone off the thread.*

Yes, that was unsettling. 

Everyone should learn some new things for the New Year:

[perfect_pitch]

What?  You guys don't even spell whiskey right. 

Excuse me??? When talking about the irish version - I used the spelling Whiskey which is correct.

And for the Scottish, I used the spelling Whisky'.

Both are accurate and used correctly in their proper place.

Even one of your more celebrated prime ministers, Churchill, was known to have favored, among other libations, Kilbeggan Irish in the old style.

Yeah, and to everyone in Scotland - he was known as a drunkard; not much of a politician.

[j_tour]

Excuse me??? When talking about the irish version - I used the spelling Whiskey which is correct.

And for the Scottish, I used the spelling Whisky'.

Well good.  You can be head boy when it comes to spelling.  I'll allow it. 

Yeah, and to everyone in Scotland - he was known as a drunkard; not much of a politician.

Not mutually exclusive.  Rallied the UK's ass in WWII, even if as a mere figurehead.  And he was a blowhard who was a poor student of classical languages, despite his braggart claims to the contrary.

Let's let the Irish whiskey or Scotch whisky thing drop.

I'm enjoying a kind of interesting Kilbeggan Small Batch Rye at the moment, and I'm sure you'll be doing the same mutatis mutandis for one of your daily meals.

Heavy drinkers aren't the best people to have reasoned, even-tempered discussions about their drinks of choice.

Even though Irish whiskey is preferred. 

Among some.

Of taste.

Anyway, you started it, you whelp!

As a consolation prize, Robt Burns does get his due even among the illiterates today (or tomorrow, depending on UTC time offsets) for "Auld Lang Syne," and it may be that his prodigious influence upon verse, even in anglophone lands, should become even greater.  I have no quarrel with that.

Great poets must have had great spirits, and so I declare that what some call Scotch whisky has its place.  Or had.

[perfect_pitch]

Heavy drinkers aren't the best people to have reasoned, even-tempered discussions about their drinks of choice.

Wrong... Those who drink heavily are more experienced with the many forms that alcohol comes in... as opposed to those who haven't drunk as much who don't have that knowledge.

[j_tour]

Wrong... Those who drink heavily are more experienced with the many forms that alcohol comes in... as opposed to those who haven't drunk as much who don't have that knowledge.

You don't know what you're talking about.

The real test of a drinker is "how many accidental fires has one caused due to inattention in one's domicile."

[perfect_pitch]

The real test of a drinker is "how many accidental fires has one caused due to inattention in one's domicile."

No... the real test of a DRUNK is "how many accidental fires has one caused due to inattention in one's domicile."

The real test of a drinker, is "how many accidental fires has one have I managed to avoid causing despite ones inattention in one's domicile."

[j_tour]

No... the real test of a DRUNK is "how many accidental fires has one caused due to inattention in one's domicile."

The real test of a drinker, is "how many accidental fires has one have I managed to avoid causing despite ones inattention in one's domicile."

Yeah, well the difference between a drinker and a drunkard is that the former survives whatever calamities he or she set in motion.

Any moron can drink a bottle of Goldschläger and (i) walk into traffic (ii) start a fistfight which ends poorly (iii) self-immolate while thinking of Wagner.  Or any number of idiocies.

The drinker survives.  That is the difference.

I think even an ego such as yours should have already admitted that we agree on this point.

[perfect_pitch]

I think even an ego such as yours should have already admitted that we agree on this point.

[j_tour]

Oh, you do all that Monty Python stuff.  Well, it figures.

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

Absolutely incorrigible. 

I don't believe a word of it.

[perfect_pitch]

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.

You're right - I do deserve to win this thread. My tenacity, drive and energy make me the clear winner of this subject.

None of you have the persistence or the thirst for winning that I have.