Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

You're a great man.

Correct.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3k6t2x

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

Oh. you people have to make everything so terrible and such.

Here's a nice little video.

Where have all the children gone to, I wonder?

[perfect_pitch]

Ewwww... I saw Yoko Ono in that video.

She's the reason that people hate... Yoko Ono.

[j_tour]

Ewwww... I saw Yoko Ono in that video.

Dude, that's not even.

[perfect_pitch]

What in the mother-*** holy sh*t was that???

That was HORRIFYING!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE...

[j_tour]

What in the mother-*** holy sh*t was that???

Ear training.

That was HORRIFYING!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE...

Negative, ghostrider, the pattern is full.

[perfect_pitch]

I have now heard the depths of hell, and it was horrifying.

Although, I think that recording is so bad that it proves that God doesn't exist... because if he did - he wouldn't allow THAT recording to exist.

[j_tour]

Although, I think that recording is so bad that it proves that God doesn't exist... because if he did - he wouldn't allow THAT recording to exist.

So, not into the whole Lautgedicht thing, I guess. 

Oh well, more for me.

Thou wretched gremlin, observe the stag in glory!  Drink its blood! 

Purify thyself before the discovery of the empty tomb!

[perfect_pitch]

So, not into the whole Lautgedicht thing, I guess.

No... I'm definitely not into the whole Lautgedicht thing...

Not even DEAF PEOPLE are into the whole Lautgedicht thing.

[j_tour]

Not even DEAF PEOPLE are into the whole Lautgedicht thing.

Deaf people like Beethoven?

[perfect_pitch]

He went progressively deaf, so he had high standards before he lost his hearing.

[j_tour]

He went progressively deaf, so he had high standards before he lost his hearing.

Sure.  Like going progressively...car insurance, or whatever.  I can't think of anything.

[perfect_pitch]

Sure.  Like going progressively...car insurance, or whatever.  I can't think of anything.

Someone needs caffeine. Coffee is my cure for everything.

[j_tour]

Someone needs caffeine. Coffee is my cure for everything.

Yeah.  "Coffee."  Right.

[perfect_pitch]

Well... it is. I don't have a local Crack dealer, so Coffee will have to do for now.

[j_tour]

Well... it is. I don't have a local Crack dealer, so Coffee will have to do for now.

Model airplane cement.

Or spray paint.

That is all.

[perfect_pitch]

You have a dark mind...

I'll stick to coffee. Nobody has ever been admitted to rehab with a coffee addiction.

[j_tour]

You have a dark mind...

I'll stick to coffee. Nobody has ever been admitted to rehab with a coffee addiction.

Right.

And nobody has ever named a private vessel "The Seaward" either.

[Bob]

I little distraction technique here....

https://i.imgur.com/XF1mfVz.mp4

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah Bob... I ain't clicking that. Your videos are usually weird and creepy.

And speaking of the C Word - it can be a great term of endearment:

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Damn... that ugly bastard needs to see a Periodontist and quick.

Gum recession is an often underlying factor of major diseases. No wonder that guy was angry.

[j_tour]

Damn... that ugly bastard needs to see a Periodontist and quick.

Gum recession is an often underlying factor of major diseases. No wonder that guy was angry.

Hush your mouth.  That ugly bastard is me, and my dental hygiene is superb. 

Just when I go in the sunlight I prefer to wear a 'modesty veil,' such as:

[perfect_pitch]

If you're teeth are that bad... I'd suggest a Burqa.



That way, none of us have to look at you.     

[j_tour]

If you're teeth are that bad... I'd suggest a Burqa.

No, it's just a slight modification of my usual clothing.  A modernized adaptation.

[perfect_pitch]

Who are you... Sinbad the pirate???

[j_tour]

Who are you... Sinbad the pirate???

Sure.

Sinbad the kick your ass with my sweet desert garb!

When going bush, one should always wear black, carry a scimitar, and cover all exposed skin with woolen fabrics.

Which I do, except for socks and sometimes underpants.  Black steel-toed shoes, black undershirt, black hat, black shirt.  Well, cotton or cotton blends, and my face mask is typically a generic hospital blue.

All I must do is acquire one of the facial masks in the color black, to be suspended about the hat to cover the face and neck, and then I submit that I have victory over solar radiation.  I think just the headgear is called a hijab or a niqab, but I can make it work for the modern man.

And, no, those stylish red pumps don't suit me:  steel toe or nothing!

[perfect_pitch]

All I must do is acquire one of the facial masks in the color black, to be suspended about the hat to cover the face and neck, and then I submit that I have victory over solar radiation.

I was going to make a big deal about being sun-smart, but for the people of Australia - it's the end of the school term, so I can't be fucked.

Happy holidays.

[j_tour]

I was going to make a big deal about being sun-smart, but for the people of Australia - it's the end of the school term, so I can't be fucked.

"Sun-smart."  Impose physical barriers between minimally mediated solar radiation and one's body at all times.

Thank you very much, Mr. Messenger.

[compline]

[j_tour]

Nope.

The correct answer is diet and exercise.

https://hmg-h-cdn.hearstapps.com/videos/bm-lindsey-resistanceband-banded-high-plank-row-1591110060.mp4

And always wear a hat.

[perfect_pitch]

Australia is one of the only places where each year we make sunscreen with more UV protection. When the sun explodes and becomes a red giant, the only people who are going to survive are the Australians.

[j_tour]

Australia is one of the only places where each year we make sunscreen with more UV protection. When the sun explodes and becomes a red giant, the only people who are going to survive are the Australians.

Australians like Crocodile Dundee?  Oh, too soon.

I think what it is is that the sun really only hits the top of the world, and what you get at the bottom of the world is some of the leftover sun.

So it isn't harmful, because it's been filtered out through a system of mechanical gears and lenses built in Switzerland.

[perfect_pitch]

Australians like Crocodile Dundee?  Oh, too soon.

Christ no... no one in Australia, and I mean NO ONE in Australia likes Crocodile Dundee, nor ever did. It was just fodder material to give the rest of the world a glorified image of what stereotypical Australians looked like (in the eyes of the American people mostly).

It's like when you get movies or tv shows like Jerry Springer that seemingly perpetuate that Americans are slow, vapid morons who bonk each others sister and talk like hillbillies.

Everyone knows none of that sh*t is real.

[j_tour]

Everyone knows none of that sh*t is real.

It's all true.

However, since it is Good Friday at GMT and other areas, one must assume the position of penance and mourning.

Or observe others doing so.

[perfect_pitch]

And if you're not holy, or don't care about religion - here's the correct pose you should be emulating.

[j_tour]

And if you're not holy, or don't care about religion - here's the correct pose you should be emulating

Bollocks.  Is that Stephen Hawking?  He kind of only had one pose, you know.

Get the children involved!  Even better if one has a neighbor named Jesus, or perhaps a pet dog.

[perfect_pitch]

Wow... that's really dark... but not as dark as this:



Personally, I prefer:

Jesus Christ - the worlds first Masochist...

(Although you can only really say that around Good Friday or people won't get the joke)

[j_tour]

Jesus Christ - the worlds first Masochist...

(Although you can only really say that around Good Friday or people won't get the joke)

That's pretty funny.  Although The Jesus....I don't know....three hours?  I bet some surfers would be impressed, but what about glider pilots? 

And jazz musicians have been known to hang until daylight in the morning, smoking those reefer cigarettes and jamming.

I'm not so sure people would get the joke, even in the Bible Belt of the US.  They might drag you behind the bumper of a car because...for reasons.

Even in the main Catholic cathedral today in my town (I didn't go all the way in, just sort of lurked around the font, licking my lips), people weren't wearing black!

Black shirt, black undershirt, black blazer, black pants, black shoes.  That's the way to do it.

Bunch of iconoclastic, disrespectful hellbound cretins.

[perfect_pitch]

I'm not so sure people would get the joke, even in the Bible Belt of the US.  They might drag you behind the bumper of a car because...for reasons.

I presume they'd try to sacrifice me to their god. Lucky I don't live in America.

[j_tour]

Lucky I don't live in America.

You're lucky you don't have a mullet.

Otherwise I'd have to shave you like a cat.

[perfect_pitch]

You're lucky you don't have a mullet.

Otherwise I'd have to shave you like a cat.

Seriously... only arseholes wear Mullets. Even in Australia, they're considered *** awful to look at.

I personally think it should be legal to shave anyone with a Mullet, no questions asked or repercussions given... if they're on the streets, in the shopping malls; it should be considered a public service.

[lostinidlewonder]

You must be a man bun kinda person then

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

You must be a man bun kinda person then

No... I have never even said the words 'man bun' in my entire life. Princess Leia may have gotten away with it in the 1970's, but it shouldn't be allowed to happen today.

[compline]

That's pretty funny.  Although The Jesus....I don't know....three hours?  I bet some surfers would be impressed, but what about glider pilots? 


It is possible.   I am surprised J-tour.
You should read some of those survival  episodes  like people getting lost in the desert or lost as sea for weeks or months and survived.     

 Example of True story.......https://www.sailingeurope.com/blog/survival-at-sea-the-thrilling-story-of-steve-callahan

[compline]

It is possible.   I am surprised J-tour.
You should read some of those survival  episodes  like people getting lost in the desert or lost as sea for weeks or months and survived.     

 Example of True story.......https://www.sailingeurope.com/blog/survival-at-sea-the-thrilling-story-of-steve-callahan
[/quote]