Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

[compline]

Happy Easter.

[perfect_pitch]

And yet another embedding fail - you're getting as bad as Bob is, Compline.

[j_tour]

[compline]

And yet another embedding fail - you're getting as bad as Bob is, Compline.

Bahhh humbug!  You did that on purpose, Perfect-Pest!


Here  it is again.

[j_tour]

Bahhh humbug!  You did that on purpose, Perfect-Pest!

You're taunting the Evil One on Easter?  That's tempting fate.

Anyway, that cat isn't wearing a proper wig.

THIS is a wig.

[compline]

No, J-tour, as usual you are not up to speed, got to move with the times.
The fashion now is , the shaggy dog look.

[j_tour]

No, J-tour, as usual you are not up to speed, got to move with the times.
The fashion now is , the shaggy dog look.

The Robert Plant hair has been a few decades past its prime. 

That hippie thing should get a haircut.  Then it might pass for a professor or some other kind of pervert.

[perfect_pitch]

HEY... don't include professors in with perverts. Many of them are intelligent people who strive to make the world a better place...

...while the others should be shot. And anyway - this is what a proper professorial haircut should look like:

[j_tour]

HEY... don't include professors in with perverts.

Nope.  Alcoholic degenerates.  Or mega, super, ultra nerds.

Chris Lloyd does have a better wig than my previous example, though.

[perfect_pitch]

You realise... he's a cartoon character. Not sure if you can really use him as an example.

[compline]

[perfect_pitch]

And I bet he wonders why he's still single...

[j_tour]

You realise... he's a cartoon character. Not sure if you can really use him as an example.

Sure can.  It's a fictional object representing crass displeasure at your temerity.

[perfect_pitch]

Sure can.  It's a fictional object representing crass displeasure at your temerity.

You feel displeasure because of my exceeding confidence and prominence??? Awww... didn't realise I was wearing you thin. I'm going to keep on with my temerity, just to piss you the hell off.

It's what helps me sleep at night, knowing you're suffering, while I am not.

[j_tour]

It's what helps me sleep at night, knowing you're suffering, while I am not.

[perfect_pitch]

Some of these made me laugh like a school child. I watch this when I'm feeling down.

If you're suffering J_Tour, try watching these:

[j_tour]

I don't get upset.  Relax, man.

Think of Queen and Country.

[perfect_pitch]

I question that teachers abilities, as she completely missed the spelling mistake of 'cornferdence'... or 'comfordence', it's hard to tell...

They also missed the comma between 'try try' again.

No WONDER literacy is becoming a MAJOR problem in the world.

[j_tour]

No WONDER literacy is becoming a MAJOR problem in the world.

Well, one could make an argument that "try try again" reinforces the metrical scheme of this charming bit of doggerel.

But the real crime:  not dressing appropriately for the Scottish game.

O tempora, o mores!

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

 That's not true... there are many prostitutes out there with low level experience who need to get work somehow. They can't be too picky to turn away people in cargo shorts in they want a little 'company'.

[j_tour]

That's not true... there are many prostitutes out there with low level experience who need to get work somehow. They can't be too picky to turn away people in cargo shorts in they want a little 'company'.

Stop talking about chicken.  I'm not hungry.

[perfect_pitch]

How did you get 'chicken' from me talking about prostitutes...

Actually, don't go there. That's usually the sort of thing you talk to a psychologist about.

And who the heck eats Chicken wings? They're mainly just bones and tendon - there's barely any meat on those things.

[lostinidlewonder]

And who the heck eats Chicken wings? They're mainly just bones and tendon - there's barely any meat on those things.

You just need to eat a properly cooked one where you can simply eat most of it no problems at all! 

[j_tour]

How did you get 'chicken' from me talking about prostitutes...

Harvey Keitel.

And who the heck eats Chicken wings? They're mainly just bones and tendon - there's barely any meat on those things.

Don't be a damned fool.  That's ridiculous.

You just have to wear the right equipment.

[perfect_pitch]

There's a level of insanity that I don't think I can match wits with...

I wonder how dark this conversation can become... and then other times at night, I just cry myself to sleep.

[j_tour]

I wonder how dark this conversation can become... and then other times at night, I just cry myself to sleep.

No it isn't.

[perfect_pitch]

I worry about you man... I really do.

And I'm thankful we live 10,000 miles away from each other.

[j_tour]

I worry about you man... I really do.

No you don't.

Have a sandwich.  You'll feel better.

[perfect_pitch]

And what if I'm a vegan???





I'm just kidding - only weirdos are vegan.   

[j_tour]

And what if I'm a vegan???

Then you must wear the mask of tarditude.



Well, never mind. 

The text reads:

"This face cover is not designed or intended to mitigate, prevent, treat, diagnose, or cure any disease or health condition, nor is it a substitute for self-quarantine at home, social distancing, or thoroughly washing your hands.  This facecover is not a substitute for a medical or surgical mask and should not be used in any surgical, medical, or clinical setting.

Warning:  Choking Hazard - Small Parts.  Masks are intended for Adult use only.  Keep away from children and pets."

Those are the masks AMZN delivery drivers are given.

EDIT Since someone took down the image, here's a good one of a gerbil. 

Yes, it is a goer, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.  Have fun with that!

[perfect_pitch]

Meh - Gerbils are boring. You can get them in any old pet store in the world.

SQUIRRELS, however are far more interesting... and cute. Plus, when you're not looking, they act like superheroes:

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Well... for future reference, do NOT search 'weird gifs' into Google.

Some of that sh*t is weird... here's some of it:

[j_tour]

Well... for future reference, do NOT search 'weird gifs' into Google.

Gahhh. 

I'll do whatever I want.

[perfect_pitch]

I have never seen that movie... nor do I plan to...

EVER!!!

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

Mmm... let me guess, this:

...is what Americans call a 'small hamburger'? I dread to see the large size. I mean seriously... who the *** eats that sort of burger??? Why does that burger even exist?





[Sorry, I uncovered this after I made my initial post, but this was too good]

[j_tour]

...is what Americans call a 'small hamburger'? I dread to see the large size. I mean seriously... who the *** eats that sort of burger??? Why does that burger even exist?

I don't think people really eat that.  It does not look like the kind of meat mountain one would like to climb.

Although, it's only about 1000 calories:  one of these days I might eat one and nothing else the rest of the day, as a joke on myself.

No.  I'm not going to do that.

A bottle of whiskey and a steak seem like more sensible dietary choices.  Start the day with a coffee, keep a nice clear large rocks glass on hand for the whiskey (no ice, that's just what the glass is called), cook the steak, eat some of it, have a multivitamin, and occasionally drink some water and smoke some tobacco.  Gnaw on the fat and gristle from the steak later in the day.  Maybe have a handful of almonds.

And then one's daily nutritional needs are completed.

[perfect_pitch]

No ice... good to hear. That powdered crap will MESS WITH YOUR HEAD MAN...

[wait a minute, is Ice a powder, or do you cook it and inject it??? I don't know), but as long as you're steering clear of the drugs. Good on you.

The only part about that, which sounded bad was the:

Gnaw on the fat and gristle from the steak later in the day

SERIOUSLY MAN??? Cut off the gristle and leave it be. It's not worth chewing on.

[compline]

T-Jour can't chew , he ain't got no  teef. 

[perfect_pitch]

No... but by god, it looks like that honker can sniff up an inordinate amount of powder.

No wonder he doesn't have any teeth.

[j_tour]

Cut off the gristle and leave it be. It's not worth chewing on.

Yes it is.  It's the most sensual part of the flesh-eating ritual.

[perfect_pitch]

How in the *** did I come across this weird sh*t???

Oh well, thought I would share:

[j_tour]

How in the *** did I come across this weird sh*t???

I don't know. 



It takes a brave person to admit to the David Lynch.

You have been tainted! 

Admit the David Lynch!

[perfect_pitch]

Who in the *** is David Lynch... and why should I care?

[j_tour]

Who in the *** is David Lynch... and why should I care?

Germanic Huns.

No good.