Last post wins!!!!!

[perfect_pitch]

Oh, and don't even try making an infusion with inferior products like Gustaf's Dutch Licorice Double Salt.  Sorry to say, but there really is no substitute for Pfizer's Turkinpippuri.

If that's the best Pfizer can come up with, then I worry about this vaccine then that they have been prattling on about.

[j_tour]

If that's the best Pfizer can come up with, then I worry about this vaccine then that they have been prattling on about.

Fazer, apparently.  It makes an OK infusion.

The Pfizer is terrific, though!  They go deep into the tissue, though:  really sore left arm both times.

[perfect_pitch]

Well, here in Australia they're pumping that AstraZeneca and people are getting blood clots left, right and centre.

I guess a sore left arm isn't the worst thing.

[j_tour]

I guess a sore left arm isn't the worst thing.

Yeah, I guess.

I'll be a Pfizer man 'til the end of my days, though.

It's good stuff!

Nice, B.A.   Enough of that jibber-jabber, ain't getting on no plane, fool, especially with no crazy fool like Murdock flying.  Ain't be no crazy fool enough get me go no place with that crazy fool!
 
All being on the jazz and stuff.  Hannibal on the jazz, Faceman on the jazz, and now I got to deal with that crazy sucker Murdock being on the jazz and flying them little toy airplanes.   

Fools, ain't nobody drive my van but me, sucker! 

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, I guess.

I'll be a Pfizer man 'til the end of my days, though.

Plus they supply you with those little blue pills you need when your little man isn't up to it.

 

[j_tour]

Plus they supply you with those little blue pills you need when your little man isn't up to it.

 

You! 

Oh, I guess Pfizer does make that drug of ignominy and shame, I suppose.

But since you're the expert, can one pulverize that tablet in order to best Hot Cosby a gal at the bar?

I don't think it can be used that way.

It would be a good experiment, though.

[perfect_pitch]

But since you're the expert, can one pulverize that tablet in order to best Hot Cosby a gal at the bar?

...best Hot Cosby a gal at the bar?

Can we get a translation here???

[j_tour]

...best Hot Cosby a gal at the bar?

Can we get a translation here???

What?

You know, when a Cosby likes a gal very very much and he positions himself beside her in a very tender manner, after administering calming pharmaceuticals, that's what they call a Hot Cosby.

Or a Fat Albert.

See, because it was the same person.

/* And, yes, "best" was used as an adverbial participle in that sentence.  Don't worry about it.  I will talk about grammar all day, but I don't think you want me to create Reverse Polish notational parsing diagrams, and....just don't.  Not a good use of your valuable time, thou squire.  But if you insist, let's do in classical or medieval Latin or middle and modern French:  English is a kind of verkakte language.

Plus I'm *super* pissed off when I found out a good friend at work today "accidentally" had me "blocked" on her cell phone............................I can imagine why......................but she was wrong!   I get no respect!  And my other gal pal at work disrespected me.....meh..........screw her.  And these are like two of my good pals at work.......or so I thought..................grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrr  */

[perfect_pitch]

Plus I'm *super* pissed off when I found out a good friend at work today "accidentally" had me "blocked" on her cell phone............................I can imagine why......................but she was wrong!   I get no respect!  And my other gal pal at work disrespected me.....meh..........screw her.  And these are like two of my good pals at work.......or so I thought..................grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrr  */

[j_tour]

Well, I don't know about that, but one doesn't want to perturb a woman, particularly one who has at least one child.  I think the child-birthing and rearing process kind of toughens them up in several important ways.  And much for the worse if they are separated or divorced. 

Not sure what got up this one gal's region; probably she was just in a bad mood and knew I wouldn't retaliate, not seriously.  That's OK.  At least she didn't call me a "fat f*cker," or "fat bastard," which seem to be her favorite insults for men she doesn't care for.

But what's aggravating is that I've stopped by two shops, with the express interest in buying a set of dice, to pass the time at work by tricking some fool into gambling with me at shooting dice.

WTH?  Who wouldn't carry dice in a shop?  You know, right by the playing cards or whatever.  Ridiculous! 

/* Huh!  Even a candy-ass little Highlander like whatsisface got something right once!



This is the Jura 10, and while it's only mildly peated, I find notes of tobacco and caramel, and a very full body and mouthfeel.  Only 80 proof, but that's plenty.

A rare combination of mild, nearly no harsh ethanol astringency, but potent complexity in all respects.  Beautiful color and presentation, as well.

Thumbs up!

*/

[perfect_pitch]

This is the Jura 10, and while it's only mildly peated, I find notes of tobacco and caramel, and a very full body and mouthfeel.  Only 80 proof, but that's plenty.

A rare combination of mild, nearly no harsh ethanol astringency, but potent complexity in all respects.  Beautiful color and presentation, as well.

Thumbs up!

Damnit... I'd buy it, if it weren't for the fact that when I drink Whisky, it dries the sh*t out of my mouth and I have a hard time sleeping.

[j_tour]

Damnit... I'd buy it, if it weren't for the fact that when I drink Whisky, it dries the sh*t out of my mouth and I have a hard time sleeping.

Yeah, well, welcome to my world.  I've been at five days abstinence per week, but the past two weeks life has gone a bit sideways, so drinking more.

It also you makes you a fat bastard, just like Hitchcock! 

But good whiskies are almost as good as sex!  And that can also perturb one's sleep! 

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, well, welcome to my world.  I've been at five days abstinence per week, but the past two weeks life has gone a bit sideways, so drinking more.

It also you makes you a fat bastard, just like Hitchcock! 

Damnit - why can't they make Whisky's that help you stay thin. Everything you DO in life makes you fat, or has some downside.

Red wine is good for the heart, but bad for the oesophagus.

[j_tour]

Damnit - why can't they make Whisky's that help you stay thin. Everything you DO in life makes you fat, or has some downside.

I know.  Just goes straight to my thighs even thinking about beer and liquors!

Just so jealous of those emaciated malnourished alkies!  They can drink and drink and not gain an ounce!

Hate them so much, seriously! 

[perfect_pitch]

I know.  Just goes straight to my thighs even thinking about beer and liquors!

Just so jealous of those emaciated malnourished alkies!  They can drink and drink and not gain an ounce!

Hate them so much, seriously! 

Yeah, but usually it deteriorates their brains, so while they stay perfectly thin - their brains are rotting.

[visitor]

Yeah, but usually it deteriorates their brains, so while they stay perfectly thin - their brains are rotting.
[/quotehttps://youtu.be/P88CSF2iIaQ]

[j_tour]

Yeah, but usually it deteriorates their brains, so while they stay perfectly thin - their brains are rotting.

What?  No, it starves the brain of oxygen, in order to better optimize performance and stimulate neurogenesis.

It's an extremely productive and ascetic practice.

[perfect_pitch]

While I would love to build up a beautiful collection of whiskys, I just don't have $1K to plonk down on the good sh*t right now.

I have a house to pay off, and prostitutes don't come cheap.   

[j_tour]

prostitutes don't come cheap.   

You're supposed to befriend them, then turn them out on the street.

Don't be the customer:  be the employer!

[perfect_pitch]

You're supposed to befriend them, then turn them out on the street.

Don't be the customer:  be the employer!

I thought of that, but the pimp is a hulky beefy-looking ***; and if I mess with he - he's going to whoop my arse.

[j_tour]

I thought of that, but the pimp is a hulky beefy-looking ***; and if I mess with he - he's going to whoop my arse.

Pshaw, candy-ass! 

You do your pushups and pullups everyday, right?

And you carry a straight razor, right?

Don't be so outrageous!

And it is true that some ladies of the evening are rather friendly.  I've known a few, and never paid a dime, nor became their pimp.

You do need a Cadillac or another garish American automobile, though.

And a hat, and shirts with no sleeves.

[perfect_pitch]

Pshaw, candy-ass! 

You do your pushups and pullups everyday, right?

And you carry a straight razor, right?

Don't be so outrageous!

And it is true that some ladies of the evening are rather friendly.  I've known a few, and never paid a dime, nor became their pimp.

You do need a Cadillac or another garish American automobile, though.

And a hat, and shirts with no sleeves.

I've heard of push-ups... for goodness sake, what type of twat do you take me for.

What's a pull-up though???

I ain't going to drive a Cadillac though, those things are ugly as hell. I mean, they might have looked great in the 70's, but the 70's died over 40 years ago.

[j_tour]

I've heard of push-ups... for goodness sake, what type of twat do you take me for.

What's a pull-up though???

I ain't going to drive a Cadillac though, those things are ugly as hell. I mean, they might have looked great in the 70's, but the 70's died over 40 years ago.

Well than you're just not suited for pimpin', bro!

Got my flowered shirt with buttons and a collar spent last night hustling pool and taking down fools!

Got me a new bottom ho, she got her own place and everything!

Actually all of the above is true....including the point when I got dressed and left her place at 0500, give her a nice little kiss and left her a note.

Oh. 

I don't think that's "pimping," exactly.  More like being a standard-issue jackass mining the town bicycle for a place to "sleep" for the night.

Hmmm.

Well, we'll see if she calls back.  She has a few rivals who now sort of despise me for taking off with "their" gal.  I might end up on the nightly news as victim of a mysterious stabbing.

Well.....I got the brakes fixed on my Toyota!

It's the Cadillac of imported sport sedans!

/* And to add more flavor, these are what "pull ups" are.

You pull yourself up from rest to above the height of your chin, using only the muscles of your upper body.

As usual, Australia Austria's prime minister demonstrates it best:

*/

[perfect_pitch]

/* And to add more flavor, these are what "pull ups" are.

You pull yourself up from rest to above the height of your chin, using only the muscles of your upper body.

As usual, Australia Austria's prime minister demonstrates it best:

I presume he's no longer interested in following his career in Politics??? I mean he did become Mayor for a while... why not President???

Trump managed to become president and he's a tosser wanker prick gasping, wheezing windbag with a bad hair-piece.

[j_tour]

I presume he's no longer interested in following his career in Politics??? I mean he did become Mayor for a while... why not President???

I wouldn't know, since I don't follow politics.

All about Jesse Ventura is what I do know.

[perfect_pitch]

A Sexual Tyrannosaurus... now there's a term I haven't heard.

I presume this is what he had in mind...



Also, I don't recommend searching that up - some people have gone a LOT further than that... weirdly further.

[j_tour]

A Sexual Tyrannosaurus... now there's a term I haven't heard.

All you need to know is that if you chew tobacco, it will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus.  Just like me.

[perfect_pitch]

All you need to know is that if you chew tobacco, it will make you a sexual tyrannosaurus.  Just like me.

You mean... you're extinct???

[j_tour]

You mean... you're extinct???

No, but I do have a sauras.

[perfect_pitch]

Then you need... some PREPARATION H

[j_tour]

Then you need... some PREPARATION H

That stuff tastes terrible. 

Somewhat like this:

[perfect_pitch]

That stuff tastes terrible. 

Somewhat like this:

Damn, that sh*t is nasty. You might as well have been drinking petrol:

[j_tour]

You might as well have been drinking petrol

I love that stuff.  Actually Monkey Shoulder isn't too bad, but it needs a little room-temperature water to calm down the nail-polish remover "notes" and undistinguished, thin color.  I don't know how it got a reputation for being a decent blend.  Johnnie Black is miles ahead.

[perfect_pitch]

Actually Monkey Shoulder isn't too bad, but it needs a little room-temperature water to calm down the nail-polish remover "notes" and undistinguished, thin color.  I don't know how it got a reputation for being a decent blend.

Drunks are probably not that picky, plus it's cheap???

Most of them don't care what they're drinking, as long as it fits in their brown paper bag.

[j_tour]

Drunks are probably not that picky, plus it's cheap???

So the Scottish, who appear to be rather proud of Monkey Shoulder blended malt Scotch, are drunks? 

That's not very nice!

And anyway, it says right on the back of the bottle:  "Don’t be a drunk monkey. Drink responsibly."  Who would defy such a commandment? 

[perfect_pitch]

So the Scottish, who appear to be rather proud of Monkey Shoulder blended malt Scotch, are drunks? 

Have you ever lived in Scotland? The Scots ain't proud of Monkey Shoulder... they prefer almost everything with that starts with a Glen...

Or a Johnnie. Monkey Shoulder is too piss poor to compete with all the other Scottish Whiskies.

And anyway, it says right on the back of the bottle:  "Don’t be a drunk monkey. Drink responsibly."  Who would defy such a commandment? 

Yeah, most adverts spend 99.9% of the advert promoting the product... and usually somewhere in the tiny corner, where no one can see... you might find that motto.



I mean... look at it... it's *** tiny.

[j_tour]

Have you ever lived in Scotland? The Scots ain't proud of Monkey Shoulder... they prefer almost everything with that starts with a Glen...

I mean... look at it... it's *** tiny.

Yeah, I agree.  Speyside blends are not liked by any Scots anywhere, which explains their lack of popularity.

So small.

[perfect_pitch]

Damnit... in the course of a day, I've gone from the usual sunny self that I am, to someone with an oncoming cold



...so I am going to have a hot shower, rug up with warm clothes, eat a spicy Beef Vindaloo... and leave you with this exasperated look, which is exactly how I feel.



...and also, lots of Hot toddies. SEVERAL of them, in fact.

[j_tour]

Well, I urinated on myself last night.  And didn't pick up the vibe that this gaggle of women playing pool were probably not "into men" and therefore didn't want to "play doubles" with me and my pal.  The misandry vibe was strong, but I was not deterred! 

And I'm probably not likely to randomly run into this gal I had a little encounter with, given our different schedules.  Even though we have each other's digits, I think we both think we're too "cool and hip" to do something square like plan a time to meet up. 

Cheer up there, little fella:  your misery is not unshared.

[perfect_pitch]

Well, I urinated on myself last night.  And didn't pick up the vibe that this gaggle of women playing pool were probably not "into men" and therefore didn't want to "play doubles" with me and my pal.  The misandry vibe was strong, but I was not deterred! 

And I'm probably not likely to randomly run into this gal I had a little encounter with, given our different schedules.  Even though we have each other's digits, I think we both think we're too "cool and hip" to do something square like plan a time to meet up. 

How do you come up with stuff like this??? If this is an insight into your mind, please show me the exit... and FAST!!!

[j_tour]

How do you come up with stuff like this??? If this is an insight into your mind, please show me the exit... and FAST!!!

You're nuts, man:  that's just a normal week. 

I also almost deliberately provoked a fistfight with some dudebro claiming to be an attorney who was interrupting my flow at the pool table another night.

[perfect_pitch]

I dread to see what an abnormal week is like in your world.

I somewhat imagine it like this though:



That's the best I could come up with... only because I know Google Images can get dark very quickly... and I dare not venture into those territories.

[j_tour]

That's the best I could come up with... only because I know Google Images can get dark very quickly... and I dare not venture into those territories.

You're a terrible person.  I bet you have CV-19.

I, on the other hand, did not sexually molest that woman.

I know because I asked a few days later.

[perfect_pitch]

You're a terrible person.  I bet you have CV-19.

I, on the other hand, did not sexually molest that woman.

I know because I asked a few days later.

1) I don't have COVID. This is Perth for goodness sake. We in WA haven't had anyone did from COVID possibly for almost a year. We're one of the safest cities in the world right now.

2) Bill Clinton also said the same thing with Monica Lewinsky, and we all knew he was full of sh*t.

3) I wouldn't trust Britney Spears anyway on anything she says... she's bat-sh*t crazy.

[j_tour]

1) I don't have COVID. This is Perth for goodness sake. We in WA haven't had anyone did from COVID possibly for almost a year. We're one of the safest cities in the world right now.

2) Bill Clinton also said the same thing with Monica Lewinsky, and we all knew he was full of sh*t.

3) I wouldn't trust Britney Spears anyway on anything she says... she's bat-sh*t crazy.

I did not have sex with that Britney Spears!  My gal had a full head of hair and was a normal, intelligent person!

Don't have COVID.  My ass.  You're crawling with viruses and you know it!

And also, snakes.

[perfect_pitch]

I did not have sex with that Britney Spears!  My gal had a full head of hair and was a normal, intelligent person!

Don't have COVID.  My ass.  You're crawling with viruses and you know it!

And also, snakes.

You're right... if she was a normal, intelligent person, then it can't have been Britney Spears.

Also, I've lived in Australia for 27 years, and still to this day have NEVER seen a wild snake.

27 mother-*** years.

[j_tour]

Also, I've lived in Australia for 27 years, and still to this day have NEVER seen a wild snake.

27 mother-*** years.

Well then you just haven't gone bush enough.

You should be ashamed, not strident and defiant. 

[Bob]

I've seen a snake.

[j_tour]

I've seen a snake.

I have a snake.

[Bob]

I have many snakes.  I think.  But I don't own them.  Or maybe I do.