Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

What in the hell... is that an actual show in which a bunch of weirdos watch... an actual show???

Yes.  It's an ancient concept.  Vampira, Svengoolie, et al. show ridiculous items on television and mock them, in more or less humorous ways.

[perfect_pitch]

I scrolled through that clip... didn't really find anything that humorous.

Maybe for 1980-something, or whenever that show was made, but then again - most of the 80s shows seem to have had very low production values:

[j_tour]

[perfect_pitch]

I think the more disturbing thing is how they manage to mold and shade the meat exactly like that...

THAT is the horrifying question. No wonder kids are afraid of clowns.

[j_tour]

THAT is the horrifying question. No wonder kids are afraid of clowns.

It's a beloved luncheon meat.  I believe it is or was popular in the Republic of Ireland.

Would you rather have this?

[perfect_pitch]

Mmm... I like my Fanny Tarts, but they have to be hot and moist, but hopefully not flaky.

[j_tour]

Mmm... I like my Fanny Tarts, but they have to be hot and moist, but hopefully not flaky.

I don't know.  I like a good crust now and then.  Something to really bite into.

Points for the Archer clip.

[perfect_pitch]

Thanks - Archer goes with everything.

Nicolas Cage however goes with nothing. Where the hell did he go wrong? Did he just literally think that everything he stars in turns into a piece of art???

[j_tour]

Thanks - Archer goes with everything.

You're welcome.  Yeah, pretty much.

Regards,

j_tour

[perfect_pitch]

This one always gave me a laugh...

[j_tour]

This one always gave me a laugh...

Yeah, well, laugh while you can, monkey boy.

This is not a very good pizza.  Even to those who like the cruciform vegetables very much.

[perfect_pitch]

This is not a very good pizza.  Even to those who like the cruciform vegetables very much.

I'm going to put this puzzle to rest... that's not a pizza at all. I don't care what marketing think of it. Talking of marketing, Skittles had some really fucked up weirdos in their advertising department.

[j_tour]

Talking of marketing, Skittles had some really fucked up weirdos in their advertising department.

I didn't notice.

[perfect_pitch]

Now this is the sort of thing you need at your next Halloween...



Gotta give them props for creativity.

[j_tour]

Gotta give them props for creativity.

I guess.  Those crazy Neopolitans.  They think everything is a pizza.  Even a skull cum rictus.

[perfect_pitch]

They'll put anything on a pizza, won't they?

Although, in this case - Gordon Ramsay is WRONG!!!

[compline]

If Corona virus doesn't get you , then a diet of pizza and chips will!

[perfect_pitch]

Hey - I'm in Australia. COVID ain't getting me. Last time it killed anyone in our country, it was at least 3 months ago.

[j_tour]

Killed from the snakebites can't suck the venom out, is what.

[perfect_pitch]

I dare not ask if that burger is actually made from snake-meat. It seems to have a weird shape, which is why I am asking...

If so... DAMN YOU. This is the only type of snake burger I want to see.

[j_tour]

If so... DAMN YOU. This is the only type of snake burger I want to see.

That's because you're evil.

[compline]

Only bat sht crazy Americans do this!

[j_tour]

Well, compline, who could argue with that?

[perfect_pitch]

Only bat sht crazy Americans do this!

Correction... Only bat-sh*t crazy Americans are STUPID ENOUGH to do that!



This is why I believe in Darwinism. I think the only way to increase the average IQ of the worlds population is to remove EVERY SINGLE WARNING AND DANGER SIGN in the world for just a year, and let nature take its course.

Who wants a Darwin Award? If so, feel free to post a picture of why you deserve one and you can go into the draw to compete against these chaps:

[j_tour]

Correction... Only bat-sh*t crazy Americans are STUPID ENOUGH to do that!

Bogan says what? 

I didn't hear anything.

Cover it with some burnt swamp, put it in a bottle, and make it cask strength, and perhaps even Scott Morrison and the Queen Mum would hear of it.  Call it Pom Priceless.

[perfect_pitch]

Cover it with some burnt swamp, put it in a bottle, and make it cask strength, and perhaps even Scott Morrison and the Queen Mum would hear of it.  Call it Pom Priceless.

Priceless Pom would have more ring to it I think. Scott Morrison is an idiot who thinks Social media is a tool used by the devil (yes, seriously) and the Queen is almost old enough to have had a pet dinosaur.

[j_tour]

blah blah something something

Yeah, but do either of those have a knife?

That's right:  think about it!

[perfect_pitch]

Yeah, but do either of those have a knife?

Paul Hogan may have had a knife, but he couldn't do Maths for sh*t...

That's why the ATO picked him up.

[j_tour]

That's why the ATO picked him up.

That doesn't explain the excessive amount of peat in Paul Hogan's whisky.

Nor why you spell "Authority" with an "O":  must be a Scottish thing.

[perfect_pitch]

That doesn't explain the excessive amount of peat in Paul Hogan's whisky.

Nor why you spell "Authority" with an "O":  must be a Scottish thing.

Huh?!? Well, let me answer that last one. If you didn't spell Authority with an 'O', the word would be Authrity... and that *** doesn't make sense...

...because it's not a bloody word.

[j_tour]

...because it's not a bloody word.

Sure it is.

[perfect_pitch]

You trying to match my Seinfeld wit against your own??? Prepare to die:

NAME THE EPISODE THIS WAS TAKEN FROM:

[j_tour]

NAME THE EPISODE THIS WAS TAKEN FROM

I will do no such thing!

I'm still enjoying the Glenmorangie 10 neat!

I don't have brain cells to waste on your buffoonery!

In other words, I don't remember. 

[perfect_pitch]

I'm still enjoying the Glenmorangie 10 neat!

I don't have brain cells to waste on your buffoonery!

In other words, I don't remember. 

[j_tour]

blah blah something something

Silence, you hooligan!

[perfect_pitch]

[j_tour]

What?

You're talking like an undergraduate.  Speak up, son.



And don't *** make the width more than, about 500 or 600 at most.  It burns my ass.

And also, wash yourself before going out in public.  It makes me sad.

[perfect_pitch]

And also, wash yourself before going out in public.  It makes me sad

Hey... I always wash myself every day... I'm not an American.   

Just kidding - I say that just to get on your nerves. Now I'm actually wondering if those in fact are your actual photos. I saw the picture of Bach, and seemed it very unlikely that it's just co-incidence.

But what in the *** happened to that computer under the desk... and how can you use your laptop as a coaster???

[j_tour]

But what in the *** happened to that computer under the desk... and how can you use your laptop as a coaster???

I wouldn't know.  Just do.

Because I just a feelthy peeg yanqui full of the self loathing. 

You *** bastards all to hell, I'm supposed to put my own version of the precipitato on here.

No, I can do it, but it's getting to be *** ridiculous with tripods and cameras and bullshit.

Gobshite.

Now I'm actually wondering if those in fact are your actual photos. I saw the picture of Bach, and seemed it very unlikely that it's just co-incidence.

No, that's IRL.  In fact, the Henle Ars fuga just arrived yesterday:  it's meant to be an inspiration that I can finally remember the Contrpuncts IX, and at least have a reading score for many of the rest. 

More or less an engraving of convenience:  it becomes more convenient to use bound volumes for pieces one plays.  In that regard, I also have a single-bound edition of the Prokofiev 7th.  And so forth.

Yes, I did my "homework" and figured out which hand does what for most of the Bach, but this is meant just for reading out of at the keyboard.  It's like, for example, the sinfonias of Bach:  I can hack my way through it, but it isn't concert material.  I'm just a rock and roller, in terms of what people actually pay me to day:  I'm not going to rent an auditorium and sell tickets through a broker/promoter for a self-proclaimed "concert" of some warhorses. 

Sure, one could, but so could anybody. 

[perfect_pitch]

No, that's IRL. 

Then, the more disturbing thing is that it looks like you shave your legs. They're surprisingly smooth.

I don't need a backstory if there is one... just concerned, that's all.

[j_tour]

I don't need a backstory if there is one... just concerned, that's all.

I think it's just the lighting.

Or perhaps some of the leg hair migrated to the upper back.

I did notice that as well:  it looks odd.

You don't have to worry.   Plenty of testosterone.  High ratio of ring finger to index finger length, disturbing facility at growing facial hair quickly despite routine efforts to shave it off, and so forth.

No, you don't need any more information.

[perfect_pitch]

No, you don't need any more information.

Other than... why are you drinking bleach???

Oh what - sorry, that's what you guys classify as whisky? Okay.

Jamesons is cheap sh*t.

[j_tour]

Other than... why are you drinking bleach???

Oh what - sorry, that's what you guys classify as whisky? Okay.

Jamesons is cheap sh*t.

Well, I would say Jameson's core expression is an "unchallenging" whiskey. 

I do like the Cask Mates expressions, both in IPA and Stout casks:  not just a marketing gimmick.

But I was hoping for a bit more from Jameson Black. 

No, it has an aroma and taste of sawdust with a bit of top-heavy sweetness.

You won't catch me defending Jameson in general as a whiskey, but I find it worthwhile to sample the various offerings so as to know what I'm talking about.

I was about a hair's breadth from pulling the trigger on the Laphroaig 10, but the Redbreast 12 captured my attention at the same price point at the moment.  So, I decided to see if there was anything to the Jameson Black.

TBH, I would have been better off with a Johnnie Black.

Although, I will say, the Jameson Black is an improvement over the core product:  it is a sturdy, workmanlike whiskey.  Not especially interesting, but it is drinkable, and without many of the childish features of the Jameson base model.

[perfect_pitch]

Have you ever had a Johnnie Walker Blue???

Jesus - that stuff goes down like liquid gold.

[j_tour]

Have you ever had a Johnnie Walker Blue???

Jesus - that stuff goes down like liquid gold.

No.  I recall you humble-bragging about having been gifted a bottle.

However, while I have no doubts it's an excellent whisky, some other people have suggested it's a bit underwhelming, given the price for it.

I'm more interested in, among Scotches, heavily peated varieties.  Namely the Laphroaig, is my next hill to climb, since we're talking highlands and some of the islands.

For example, even the Glenmo 10 did indeed open up with a few drops of water:  extending the advent of the sharp citrus notes, while not appreciably diluting the drink at room temperature.

But it's a bit of an investment for me given how quickly I'll go through a 750 ml bottle:  yes, I do slow down for the rarer expressions, but uita breuis.

[perfect_pitch]

No.  I recall you humble-bragging about having been gifted a bottle.

However, while I have no doubts it's an excellent whisky, some other people have suggested it's a bit underwhelming, given the price for it.

I'm more interested in, among Scotches, heavily peated varieties.  Namely the Laphroaig, is my next hill to climb, since we're talking highlands and some of the islands.

For example, even the Glenmo 10 did indeed open up with a few drops of water:  extending the advent of the sharp citrus notes, while not appreciably diluting the drink at room temperature.

But it's a bit of an investment for me given how quickly I'll go through a 750 ml bottle:  yes, I do slow down for the rarer expressions, but uita breuis.

Mmmm - I can't believe I've made a friend online - and he knows his *** whiskies.

I hope one day we can have a really good taste test of differing whiskies in person and drink each other under the table... I'm sure we can discuss piano as well.

Till then - *** COVID!!!

[j_tour]

Till then - *** COVID!!!

That may be.

However, it is also true that Keanu rhymes with "spray-on glue," an example of which is depicted below.

Yes, I intend to use the product to apply leather patches to a sport jacket with a hole in one sleeve, since it has become clear to me that stitching by hand through suede leather is beyond my patience and, indeed, endurance.

Trust me, it's fine.

I hope one day we can have a really good taste test of differing whiskies in person and drink each other under the table... I'm sure we can discuss piano as well.

Yeah, I'd drink whiskey or whisky with you any day.  I'm indiscriminate that way!  I've known a couple of people who lived in Perth IRL and they were OK, although bit of lightweights as far as drinking goes.  Inoffensive chaps, anyway.

In fact, that's more or less what the thread has "evolved" into, anyway.

You've been forewarned, though:  although I do not wear a clown's costume, and am not actually a psychotic killer (yet), I'm in the habit of carrying a rosary in a pocket, along with a copy of the latin versicles and responses, and the appropriate rosary incantations, which I sometimes like to recite to improve my memory. 

And possibly to attempt to cast out the demons from those whom I judge to be evil.  Don't worry, I do it on myself all the time:  it's harmless.

Although not very effective!

The day or evening might end poorly, but there would likely not be any fisticuffs, nor other unfortunate incidents.  Feats of strength and incredibly crude, vulgar, abusive language is a guarantee, though.

And I have been known to enjoy a bit of sparring with fists, just for fun.  No wrestling, though, nude or otherwise.  Clothing stays on.  I insist!

You can show me how to play snooker properly, and for my part, I'll introduce you to the subtle art of losing at 14.1 continuous at the pocket billiards table.



EDIT:

However, don't think I've gone soft in regard to my admiration for the nuances available in Irish whiskies, just because I have an interest in some of the Islay smoke monsters.

Far from it.

I'd put my latest acquisition, The Quiet Man, up against anything in terms of a tempered bite beneath a mellow character.

It's also the name of an OK movie, which I'm fairly sure predates the establishment of this particular whiskey.

OK, perhaps the glass could do with a bit of cleaning, but obviously I'm not running an up-to-code commercial establishment or public house at my place.  It's fine.  And don't trouble yourself about the slight mess:  it's fine. 

[perfect_pitch]

OK, perhaps the glass could do with a bit of cleaning, but obviously I'm not running an up-to-code commercial establishment or public house at my place.  It's fine.  And don't trouble yourself about the slight mess:  it's fine. 

The fact that your redacted your own damn picture says a lot. In the meantime, I don't have a very long spiel planned to entertain you all, so I copied this off Google instead.

The Zen of Sarcasm

1.   Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
2.   The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tyre
3.   It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper,
   that's the time to do it.
4.   Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5.   Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6.   Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7.   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8.   Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you
   criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9.   If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10.    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat
   and drink beer all day.
11.    If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise
   investment.
12.    If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13.    Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14.   Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15.   The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16.   A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17.   Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe
   together.
18.   There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19.   Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20.   Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

[j_tour]

The fact that your redacted your own damn picture says a lot. In the meantime, I don't have a very long spiel planned to entertain you all, so I copied this off Google instead.

Well, I think your Chan buddhism is weak!

I take laxatives and sleep aids all the time:  it's fine.

[perfect_pitch]

Well, I think your Chan buddhism is weak!

I take laxatives and sleep aids all the time:  it's fine.

I can only assume that you have buckets of detergent stored at home... ready when you need it.



Gotta keep those sheets clean somehow.