Last post wins!!!!!

[j_tour]

Please - I've seen most of the horror movies on the planet. I ain't scared of anything.

I bet Olivia Hussey's character in Black Christmas scared you more than Keir Dullea's.

You're scared of Jello Biafra, I tell you what.

[perfect_pitch]

I ain't touching that with a 60-foot pole. I said I wasn't going to listen to Wesley Willis - EVER!!!

[perfect_pitch]

C'mon - the last thing we need to do is draw 'you know who' into the thread... let him wallow in the other threads.

[outin]

One word:  Sorabji.

How could anyone say no to this?? Just bring out the poles, boys!

[j_tour]

Just like Jerry Lee, I do my little boogie-woogie every day.

[perfect_pitch]

I envy the day of musicians who actually wrote and performed their own songs - without autotune and without backing tracks.

They were REAL BLOODY MUSICIANS. Not the corporate f@#$wits that big conglomerate companies that write the same generic musical crap that they offer to people who are really catwalk models who spend 10 hours a day practising their dance moves (not their singing, by the fact that they can't sing for crap and when they do, are autotuned to such high degree that they may as well just let Artificial intelligence sing it for them) who charge $300 a ticket and don't even bloody well sing live on stage.

I do like Pink though - she doesn't use auto-tune or backing tracks.



She should be the standard that all musicians are measured by.

[j_tour]

I envy the day of musicians who actually wrote and performed their own songs - without autotune and without backing tracks.

They were REAL BLOODY MUSICIANS.

What exactly are you blathering on about?

I think I fully agree, but perhaps the last bit of optimism I had left in the world is that, "Yes!  You're a musician, so play something, boy!"

Sadly that's probably not been the case for decades, but it's still the standard I hold up.

If some "musician" says "hey, I can't sight-transpose" or whatever:  of course there are tricks of the trade, but if you can't play to a James Brown or Aretha Franklin recording, I'd say hang it up.

Now, dancing like JB or singing like AF, that's another thing. 

[outin]

Everyone lies on the internet. I mean, as far as you know - I could really be a 3,000 year old alien being who is just using the internet to understand the human race and to discover their weaknesses.

I seldom bother to lie, the truth is weird enough

But of course I was only referring to the physical entity I have taken to complete my tasks. Winning this thread is only one of them, the rest will remain unrevealed for your own safety...

[outin]

I envy the day of musicians who actually wrote and performed their own songs - without autotune and without backing tracks.

They were REAL BLOODY MUSICIANS. Not the corporate f@#$wits that big conglomerate companies that write the same generic musical crap that they offer to people who are really catwalk models who spend 10 hours a day practising their dance moves (not their singing, by the fact that they can't sing for crap and when they do, are autotuned to such high degree that they may as well just let Artificial intelligence sing it for them) who charge $300 a ticket and don't even bloody well sing live on stage.

Singing in tune is easy, it takes a little more to sell records and draw crowds. Some of those people are actually talented you know, they just create that crap because people want it...

How do I install autotune to my cello? 

[j_tour]

Singing in tune is easy, it takes a little more to sell records and draw crowds. Some of those people are actually talented you know, they just create that crap because people want it...

How do I install autotune to my cello? 

Oh, hockeypucks  To get big crowds you need a good manager and some flashy clothes.  And, yeah, being a good performer is part of that.  Even in pomouth jazz or rock jobs, the look is part of it. 

Only Aretha could get away with being such a heavy, bold, and beautiful woman most of her career:  but she was Aretha.

I don't claim it's a difficult calculus, but it sure does matter.

Autotune a cello?  What are smoking acid or something?  Even keyboardists who typicallly have a "transpose" feature on their live gear wouldn't even use that.  Or at least they wouldn't admit to it. 

C'mon, lady, your intonation can't be that bad you need Antares Autotune for your 'cello. 

[outin]

C'mon, lady, your intonation can't be that bad you need Antares Autotune for your 'cello.

I can assure you it can be...it seems it takes some practice to train the fingers, damn!

[j_tour]

I can assure you it can be...it seems it takes some practice to train the fingers, damn!

No dog doodie?

Well put your hands on your hips and go for a ride!

What would Aretha Franklin do?

That's right, just same as I said!

And pick up a 3/4 size double bass while you're at it and start up with the music of the people.  Talking about doghouse bass, playing both kinds of music, country AND western.  With some jazz and race records on the side, but don't tell nobody.

[perfect_pitch]

Winning this thread is only one of them

Question is - how will you feel when you realise you won't get to accomplish that task?

Not to be mean, but you're not going to win; and you're in denial if you think you are.

[j_tour]

[outin]

Looks like there has been some spring cleaning here!
And now I am winning again

Lets get back to business...instead of a cute cat picture I am posting a cute...whatever...

[j_tour]

That's overdoing it! No need to get fancy, you just need some good dark roast ground coffee and a water boiler. Coffee makers spoil the taste and take longer than the traditional filtering system.



EDIT: A bit smaller might do though...

Non filtered coffee does taste even better but with the amounts I drink it can rise the cholesterol levels a bit too much...in average a Finn uses 12kg of coffee yearly and I think I use about 18kg...need to buy a package every 3 weeks or so...

I'm very familiar with the manual drip system, using water at the correct temperature.

I drink two liters of coffee in the morning, typically. 

That method takes a real heck of a long time, unless you're just making a cup or two. 

I know everything about making coffee, making wine, and, cursing like a sailor.  There's not a thing you can tell me.

[j_tour]

Looks like there has been some spring cleaning here!
And now I am winning again

Lets get back to business...instead of a cute cat picture I am posting a cute...whatever...

You wish.  I don't even know what that thing is, but it's probably edible.

[outin]

I drink two liters of coffee in the morning, typically. 

That method takes f****** forever, unless you're just making a cup or two. 

It doesn't really...you are just in denial... The coffee will be done while I prepare the rest of my breakfast.

[outin]

You wish.  I don't even know what that thing is, but it's probably edible.

Well, I did some research and it is a Venezuelan poodle moth. Most insects are edible, so you are probably right.

[j_tour]

It doesn't really...you are just in denial... The coffee will be done while I prepare the rest of my breakfast.

I assure it does "really."  I didn't just fall off the turnip truck onto my head...not recently.

Well, it's more work than I care to invest.

Even the Chemex system with the larger filter takes too long to make a full pot.

Nope. 

I like my beverages fast, hot, and black.  With milk.  To kill the aftertaste.  Well that wasn't polite..  Extirpate?  Yes, much more genteel.

A French press aka "press pot" among francophobes is much simpler and faster.  Until you break the glass carafe.  About which I would have no idea how such a thing would happen.

Plus, the mechanism of a French press includes a shaft.

You're darn tootin' right it does! 

That's what drives the mesh screen into the coffee grounds.

Absolutely golly-darn right! 

But at least we can agree that those electric filter-drip machines are no good.  A bad piece of pita bread is what they are.  I don't think I've ever turned down a cup of coffee from one of those, but I wouldn't have it in my kitchen and I sure as heck wouldn't be using it in favor of simpler methods.

Well, I did some research and it is a Venezuelan poodle moth. Most insects are edible, so you are probably right.

I'm sure it's edible.  I just think moths are gross.  Plus, they have slender bodies and probably not worth the effort.

And G** help you if let a live one into your domicile:  they are darned annoying as heck, golly darn.

[lostinidlewonder]

Haha, got sent to naughty corner

[j_tour]

Not me, you motherloving good boy!  A boy's best friend is his mother.

It was...other kids.

Notice I'm still winning, you beloved friend to all, about whom I have nothing offensive to say?

And, yes, inspired by others, I shall change my gender.

My best friends call me "Nellie" now, and that's just fine.

Gosh darn right!

[j_tour]

dp

[j_tour]

Looks like there has been some spring cleaning here!
And now I am winning again

Lets get back to business...instead of a cute cat picture I am posting a cute...whatever...

Be honest Bob outin, have you *ever* posted a "cute" cat picture?

I've seen a lot of cat pictures here that look like abominations from Hieronym. Bosch.

Mind you, I'm a cat fancier myself, to some extent (depends on the cat:  they do have personalities, of a sort), but I've seen mostly abominable photographs.



No, it's a family member's kitty, but I like Bobbie:  somewhat docile.  I don't see my family very often, but I like Bobbie.  She's a good kitty.

Yeah, it's obviously low-resolution to compensate for my mobile phone connection, but you get the idea.

[outin]

Be honest Bob outin, have you *ever* posted a "cute" cat picture?

Got me there. I probably haven't...the funny thing is, I do not really care for cute cat photos and I sure do not watch cat videos online. I guess live ones are quite enough to cater to my feline needs...

I do however possess a massive digital cat photo and video collection...over 60 Gt all copyrighted by me and free for me to use in any way I want. So if I do not win this thread in another way I just start posting them one by one...if we already did not make pp leave because he got ashamed of us, that will certainly do the trick!

[Bob]

I thought we weren't supposed to post cat pics.  I thought perfect_pitch didn't like them.  Ok...

[j_tour]

if we already did not make pp leave because he got ashamed of us, that will certainly do the trick!

I find that pretty gosh darn unlikely, given his braggadocio about being imperturable and unflappable by language his heros speak on the recordings or the televisions.

That boy would have to some sand to claim his speech were unobjectionable to some uncultivated zealots.

And, thank you very much, I'm the one who does the shaming around here, not the being-ashamed.

That's what's for sure darn right.

So, what happened, like a troop of Girlscouts or another paramilitary youth group invaded and decided young people needed sheltering?  Fanatics or something?

That's cool, I guess. 

They could have used their so-called profanity filter correctly. 

If I helped run a subscription, for-profit site, I could probably be convinced to spend twenty minutes enabling a so-called profanity filter.

No, I don't think that's part of the business plan.  You know what and gosh heck if it ain't.

 

I find your graphics demented and disturbing.  I'd suggest you use your words.  Those are images I never want to see outside of a nightmare.

Regards,

Nellie

[j_tour]

Go... I guess live ones are quite enough to cater to my feline needs...

Oh my gosh, you maniacs neuro-atypicals, may Gosh preserve you and keep you safe.  You blew it up! 

You really did it!

Now just take a second and see where you went wrong there.

I extirpated the most vulgar of speech, when quoting your vile screed, but do you not realize there are youth paramilitary groups lurking here who could well have been triggered by such speech?

You're welcome, but that'll earn you a warning, my good woman person.

There is no sexual content allowed here, either.  Not even bestiality.

NO, this is not intended to inflame, but to inform those who may have forgotten the forum rules, as I once did.  It's intended to be a friendly reminder.

Regards,

Nellie.

[j_tour]

Well that settles that. 

https://www.pianostreet.com/forumrules.php

"You may not post words or URLs that are censored by adding spaces, dots, or substituting characters, or by any other means attempt to defeat any censors put in place by Piano Forum."

So basically, all Strines, Yankees, and all else are forbidden from self-censoring.

So, it's gosh darn we're doing only swell and neat speech here.

Which is keen with me, but I was mistaken.  Self-censoring in an effort to be polite to hordes of children is not allowed either.

Which is neat, and I think it's a neat idea.

And, yeah, that means you too p_p. 

If you can't say anything nice, just don't say it, and not only are your favorite words off limits, p_p, so are your other favorites even though they may have been obfuscated.

I'm putting you all on notice, because one thing all musicians respect are respect for authority and the binding of minds to approved methods.

[j_tour]

And, yes, from the album cover from which this tune is taken, I'd imagine even an illiterate could infer that "stroking" is here meant to refer to pushing a golf ball down the course.

It's a peculiar British past-time, but with enough experience, even someone with only a barely-adequate grasp of English idiolects can grasp the notion.

It's a sport, of a kind.

In addition, "Pumping piano" is a common idiom in American English, in addition to "picking piano."

There are some written references to which I could refer you, but they tend to be expensive, and, obviously, written in the English language.

[samwitdangol]

Mahler Symphony No. 2 in C minor "Resurrection"

[j_tour]

Mahler Symphony No. 2 in C minor "Resurrection"

If it's not performed by von Klemperer, I believe it's an inferior version.

But you're welcome to try again.

[samwitdangol]

If it's not performed by von Klemperer, I believe it's an inferior version.

But you're welcome to try again.

What do you think of the one conducted by Dudamel?

[j_tour]

What do you think of the one conducted by Dudamel?

I'm afraid I don't know that rendition.

I will keep an ear out for it, but to be honest, it's been many years since I've felt like spending time on Mahler.

But if I do end up in one of the dark nights of the soul, I will search out Dudamel.

You know how it is, sometimes some of the first recordings of a piece one has heard "imprints" upon one's ear and mind, such that nothing else seems to be satisfactory.  It's really, sometimes, just an irrational prejudice.

Oh, and, I'm terribly sorry, but you just won't be winning this thread.

[samwitdangol]

The same thing happens to me when I listen to a piece for the first time. Sometimes only the first recording I listen to of a certain piece feels like the "correct" one, and I judge all others in comparison to that one.

[j_tour]

The same thing happens to me when I listen to a piece for the first time. Sometimes only the first recording I listen to of a certain piece feels like the "correct" one, and I judge all others in comparison to that one.

Yeah, that sounds about right. 

Not that one's interpretive preferences don't evolve or change, there's always a kind of magic about the first performance of a piece that really spoke to you.

Sorry, pal, still not winning this thread.

Nellie's on the jazz.

[

[outin]

Welcome to the forum Nellie! You read the rules of the forum as well...who does that? Good girl

Here's some inside information: The header of this thread is a bit misleading. It should really say outin wins, but the first poster was a little lost...

[j_tour]

Welcome to the forum Nellie! You read the rules of the forum as well...who does that? Good girl

Here's some inside information: The header of this thread is a bit misleading. It should really say outin wins, but the first poster was a little lost...

Oh no, no, no.  I went full Rain Man on the rules mother's daughter 

There ain't gonna be no problems from me.

And there ain't gonna be no mother-loving (NOT an obfuscation:  who doesn't love their mother?  I know I do, and I'm not ashamed one bit who knows) winning from nobody but me, you, you friendly person.

And thanks for the welcome! 

I also go by the names Nancy, Sally, Mary, and Sheila.  And Jack, but I allow very few people to call me that.  At least from it's root name (John).  Believe it or not many people in the USA seem to think "Jack" has something to do with the name "Jacques," which it very obviously doesn't have anything to do with.

And if people keep misspelling my last name, I think I might go completely mental.  Sounds different, is spelled different, just...people...what is their problem. 

So, therefore I insist nobody call me Jack unless they're close relations.  John is good enough, just like that, spelled like that.  But I cannot tolerate people misspelling my last name (no, it's not "tour").

Every day, it seems.  Completely different surnames, from completely different parts of country and culture. 

And I will go ape-bananas if somebody tries to call me "Jacques."  That is nothing to do with my prename.  Not my baptismal name, not nothing.

"Jack"?  Sure, I tolerate it but it's really only for closer familial relations. 

[j_tour]

But the rules could be loosened just a bit.

Bestiality?  Child sacrifice?  Cannibalism?

Well, they are the rules, and all musicians know you have to learn the rules before you break them.  Are those enforced by the state religion of some country?  Maybe not, but Luther is not a popular fellow in many states of Western Europe, nor among many ethnic enclaves in Canada, the U.S., or Mexico. 

They are the rules of some Swedes who own the domain, and I respect that.  I respect that Sweden has its state-mandated religion, like the UK, and that's fine with me.  Their countries, their rules.  No problem at all.

But consider:  parallel fifths or fourths?  Bach did it!  All the time!

Consider that Bach was a proto-Enlightenment composer.  I'd venture his views on once-taboo subjects were quite liberal.  Maybe he was no Voltaire or Diderot, certainly no Rousseau, but I think toward the end of his life his views might have become more modern.

[outin]

And there ain't gonna be no mother-loving (NOT an obfuscation:  who doesn't love their mother?  I know I do, and I'm not ashamed one bit who knows) winning from nobody but me, you, you friendly person.

I don't, she's a PITA so you actually got it right this time

[j_tour]

I don't, she's a PITA so you actually got it right this time

Fair enough.  Yeah, I know not everybody has best ties to their closest relatives, if they're still alive.

All right, that warrants a good guffaw and also, sorry it didn't work out to be a closest family, but at least you're out of the woods now.

[j_tour]

I don't, she's a PITA so you actually got it right this time

WHAT is that?  "PITA"?  A Lebanese or Syrian flatbread, I certainly hope is what you said.

There is to be no obuscation here, young lady.

You may think that's awfully clever, but I think you might have just tried to do an end run around the "filter"'s unpredictable rules.

That could be six months in the cooler, Capt. Hiltz:  I hope you brought a baseball and glove, missus ma'am

The rules cannot be broken, lady:  it's sent from top orders!

Fine, I won't report you this time, but you better start flying right, comrade!

[perfect_pitch]

Seriously??? More bloody cat pictures??? I'm sure the human race cares about something MORE THAN CATS!!!

[j_tour]

Seriously??? More bloody cat pictures??? I'm sure the human race cares about something MORE THAN CATS!!!

I know I do, but no sexual topics are allowed to be discussed on this forum.  Pictures of pussycats is fine. 

But I don't want to see any more pictures of random animals.  That's very neuro-atypical, and I don't like it.  Botany, forestry:  those are good topics about which to post pictures.  No animals cribbed from some random web-crawler.

But I'm sure you can post pictures of your Little Pony toy collection, or pictures of your spaceman comic action figure collection.

Regards,

Nellie

[j_tour]

[j_tour]

Wapner comes in es on exacttly thirteen mnutes.

Yeah, Judge Wapner it's a TV show, exactly eight minutes and twenty-four seconds.  Don't miss Wapner.

Also I buy my boxer shorts at K-Mart.  Exactly one in Cinciannati. 

Can't miss Waper at four o'clock.

I have my name sewn into my boxer shorts from K-Mart, always from K-Mart, in Cincinnati.  Always do because they're my underwear. 

Always from K-Mart. 

I'm an excellent driver.

[perfect_pitch]

But I don't want to see any more pictures of random animals. 

But bunnies are cute... I mean...



Look at him...



LOOK AT HIM, DAMNIT!!!

[j_tour]

But bunnies are cute... I mean...


LOOK AT HIM, DAMNIT!!!

I see rabbits all the time.  I don't think they're that cute, and they're not very good as food either, I've heard.  Peasant food at best.

Besides, ever seen a little movie called Night of the Lepus starring Janet Leigh?  They will cut you, man.  Savage, bloodthirsty abominations.

The jackalope, and Bugs Bunny.  Those I'll allow.

And could you please mind your language?  It's considered blasphemy by the state religion of Sweden, and we'd really prefer you to substitute words like "darn," "heck," or "golly."  This is a forum for families of any creed, sex, race, or color.

And that language really busts my freaking haggis.

With you always,

Nellie

[j_tour]

Also, rabbits are known to breed like Bach.

That is a salacious topic, and in the opinion of this commentator, well outside the bounds of good taste.

I'm always forever with you,

Nellie



I can feel a brain aneurysm growing....I don't know how long I can keep this up...you .... darling little family child people ..... it's not going to last..... ********* you ******** ***** ******** ****** you ****** and ****** your ********* ********** board with its ********** rules and also I'm thinking about ********** ******** ********.

The asterisks are not to subvert the defective "profanity" filter, and it's not possible to infer any particular words from them.  It's a literary device which you remember from "von" Kleist's The Marquise of O___, obviously, among many other examples. 

It is my intention to commemorate that literary tradition, and in the doing, I hope to raise the tone of this forum to one wherein one thinks of children, all the time.

Dear fellows.

Again, as always,

Nellie

EETA If you had a *** profanity *** filter in the first place you wouldn't have a bunch of *** ponces complaining about some dumbass kid getting its ears profaned by the *** language.

Not my *** problem if you didn't bother to set up your *** filter right in the first place.

If any "bad words" got through your ineptly calibrated filter, then that's 100% on you. ***.

[outin]

Nellie has been productive while I was busy elsewhere.
I know it'd hard to know with all that work you still won't win. It's the glass ceiling you know...



Fortunately I have no such issues with my