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Topic: Last post wins!!!!!  (Read 2123052 times)

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10800 on: June 19, 2020, 06:43:45 PM
You do realise that almost no Australians live natively in 'the Bush'... we live under the roof of our house... in cities.

They are more civilised than you think (although you wouldn't think that with the way they drive).

I didn't say "stay in the bush," I said you might be "going bush."

You know, for a winter expedition, and also to fight crocodiles while they're most dormant.

Yes, I know.  Believe it or not I've spent some time with temporary emigrants from Oz, including a classmate/colleague from Perth.  That boy couldn't hold his beer, but he did end up with one of the more striking gals from the poetics department, about which he had not much good to say, at least for a short time. 

Collect dingo scrotums from the local specimens and preserve them for export trade! 

And never forget:  high fusel oil content is the mark of a quality beverage.

Seek it, crave it, become the flame.
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10801 on: June 19, 2020, 11:31:43 PM
Believe it or not I've spent some time with temporary emigrants from Oz, including a classmate/colleague from Perth.  That boy couldn't hold his beer

Are you sure he was Australian??? Holding beer is the only thing they excel at... in levels higher than the Germans do.

Also, I have more pressing things to do than send you Dingo scrotums. You want one? You can come to Australia and do it yourself. Although, Steve Irwins ghost may haunt you for doing so.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10802 on: June 20, 2020, 01:44:01 AM
Are you sure he was Australian??? Holding beer is the only thing they excel at... in levels higher than the Germans do.

Also, I have more pressing things to do than send you Dingo scrotums. You want one? You can come to Australia and do it yourself. Although, Steve Irwins ghost may haunt you for doing so.

Yeah, he was an sw-ozzer, and while he certainly knew how to pull a cork at the bar or private party, he was a literature guy, so, you know.  A little bit lightweight.

I've don't really want a dingo scrote, not for years.  I was just thinking of ways you could occupy yourself, alone, unsheltered, in the bush, drinking tainted liquor, burning some for heat.

A good bull crocodile hide, though, that would be a good find.  I'd pay you an 'alf a Wes'mins'er crown for tha' all lot!

ETA Oh, I forgot.  No, Scotch don't burn alcohol for flame, they grab the fire and say "Gimme it back, ye!"
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10803 on: June 20, 2020, 03:21:23 AM
I've don't really want a dingo scrote, not for years.  I was just thinking of ways you could occupy yourself, alone, unsheltered, in the bush, drinking tainted liquor, burning some for heat.

Yeah... and we all ride Kangaroos to work like taxis...

 ::)

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10804 on: June 20, 2020, 06:22:20 AM
Yeah... and we all ride Kangaroos to work like taxis...

 ::)

No, mister man, I'm pretty sure you fight kangaroos and ride ostriches in order to get to the crocodiles, which you hunt.

No, no.  That's the facts.  They even made movies about it, but they got the wrong continent. 

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10805 on: June 20, 2020, 09:16:47 AM
No, mister man, I'm pretty sure you fight kangaroos and ride ostriches in order to get to the crocodiles, which you hunt.

Yes, and our country is really upside down, where gravity pins us to the ceiling and we can't get down.

Offline lostinidlewonder

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10806 on: June 20, 2020, 11:54:28 AM
No, mister man, I'm pretty sure you fight kangaroos and ride ostriches in order to get to the crocodiles, which you hunt.
Not ostriches, we ride emus and it's not to hunt the crocs, it's to get away from them.
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Offline Bob

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10807 on: June 20, 2020, 09:39:29 PM
*Bob only processes Bush and .... something else he already forgot while typing in third person.* 


I forgot.... Oh, yes.  Why don't they just get rid of thos uber dangerous creatures in Australia, like the drop bear?  (Except we all know Autalalia-Land doesn't exist.  I've never seen it.)
Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10808 on: June 21, 2020, 03:02:34 AM
I forgot.... Oh, yes.  Why don't they just get rid of thos uber dangerous creatures in Australia, like the drop bear? 

You do realise drop-bears don't exist??? They only were created to help horny young blokes pick up blonde naive tourists as a cheesy pick up line, while some weirdo lives out his fantasy of wearing a fursuit.

We have documented proof, as you can see from this instructional video:



(Except we all know Autalalia-Land doesn't exist.  I've never seen it.)

I'm sure it's proven that most Americans don't know that other countries exist outside of America.



Edit: Apparently most of them don't even know where they are located on the map...)

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10809 on: June 21, 2020, 04:47:33 AM

Edit: Apparently most of them don't even know where they are located on the map...)

Isn't that irrelevant information? It's enough to know where you are located in relation to the closest bar of pizza place:)

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10810 on: June 21, 2020, 07:45:13 AM
I like to try and go through my life without having to google absolutely everything... and rely on my brain.

I mean, how else are you meant to win at Trivial Pursuit?

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10811 on: June 21, 2020, 11:40:16 AM
I like to try and go through my life without having to google absolutely everything... and rely on my brain.

I mean, how else are you meant to win at Trivial Pursuit?

Cheating?

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10812 on: June 22, 2020, 01:14:35 AM
I thought they stick an impossibly large knife point-first into the wooden table on which the game is played, take a long sip of beer, and say, "I hear you have a winning personality, mate.  Care to demonstrate?"
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10813 on: June 22, 2020, 08:56:02 AM
I thought they stick an impossibly large knife point-first into the wooden table on which the game is played, take a long sip of beer, and say, "I hear you have a winning personality, mate.  Care to demonstrate?"

To which I reply...

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10814 on: June 22, 2020, 02:22:09 PM
To which I reply...

h ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnww12a6W8o

I thought it was more something like this:

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10815 on: June 23, 2020, 08:54:19 AM
I'm not some stuck up British tosh??? How DARE YOU!!!

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10816 on: June 23, 2020, 02:12:02 PM
I'm not some stuck up British tosh??? How DARE YOU!!!

Note the distinct lack of crocodile-skin garments and accessories in the above picture.

Sir Ethan Steed Pantytosh has never ridden an emu to tangle with the crocodiles, I'd wager.

Coincidence? 

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline Bob

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10817 on: June 23, 2020, 11:36:53 PM
I'm not some stuck up British tosh??? How DARE YOU!!!

You're a criminal.  That's what I heard.  England sent all the criminals to Australia and then.... maybe something happened, maybe they revolted or were freed.... and now all the Australians are descendants of criminals. 




Favorite new teacher quote -- "You found the only possible wrong answer."

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10818 on: June 24, 2020, 02:34:47 AM
You're a criminal.  That's what I heard.  England sent all the criminals to Australia and then.... maybe something happened, maybe they revolted or were freed.... and now all the Australians are descendants of criminals. 

Yeah, but that's old history.

I, as a US citizen, proudly claim myself to be far more criminal than those fancy lads over in that other place!

They're all like "oh, no, I musn't disrupt afternoon tea while her majesty is to be broadcast over the radio," and meanwhile, lacking dingos, I have to capture and subdue the neighborhood domesticated dogs and do their sacks off with sewing scissors.

It's a very upside-down world, indeed!

Consider it, won't you?

Fancy.



My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10819 on: June 24, 2020, 07:46:47 AM
You're a criminal.  That's what I heard.  England sent all the criminals to Australia and then.... maybe something happened, maybe they revolted or were freed.... and now all the Australians are descendants of criminals. 

No... those who redeemed themselves became ordinary citizens. The really evil bastards...

...went into politics!!!



They're all like "oh, no, I musn't disrupt afternoon tea while her majesty is to be broadcast over the radio

Oh please, we couldn't give a *** what dear ol' Lizzie is blabbering on about.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10820 on: June 24, 2020, 06:02:32 PM
Oh please, we couldn't give a *** what dear ol' Lizzie is blabbering on about.

Dear Lizzie of the fancy hats, yet! 

Fancy lad like you, you know you LURRRRV her! 
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10821 on: June 25, 2020, 10:51:57 AM
Dear Lizzie of the fancy hats, yet! 

Fancy lad like you, you know you LURRRRV her!

She's old enough to be my Grandmother... in fact, she IS the same age as my grandmother.

I love my Granny... but I don't love the Queen.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10822 on: June 25, 2020, 03:12:27 PM
I love my Granny... but I don't love the Queen.

I believe that's all true.  I've seen the photographs.

So when did you abandon your plot to dismantle Windsor Castle stone by stone through finely tuned acoustic bombarbment?

It was a clever plan, and I was sorry to hear that the publication of its details in your manifesto led to exile.
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10823 on: June 26, 2020, 05:03:35 AM
So when did you abandon your plot to dismantle Windsor Castle stone by stone through finely tuned acoustic bombarbment?

When I ran out of Scotch. It was a sad, dark, rainy day.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10824 on: June 27, 2020, 05:36:48 AM
When I ran out of Scotch. It was a sad, dark, rainy day.

Yeah, that's true. 

A day without libation to the norse gods can be a very bad day indeed.

It'd go something like this:

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10825 on: June 27, 2020, 08:42:07 AM
You do realise that the blues are dead???

Nowadays, music is all dub-step, metallic noises, jiggling and twerking fuckwits who are CAKED in makeup, but can't sing for sh*t, but dance for the camera like the little monkey they are because some arsewipe in a corporate office wrote their song for them.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10826 on: June 28, 2020, 02:24:39 AM
You do realise that the blues are dead???

Nowadays, music is all dub-step, metallic noises, jiggling and twerking fuckwits who are CAKED in makeup, but can't sing for sh*t, but dance for the camera like the little monkey they are because some arsewipe in a corporate office wrote their song for them.

Blues isn't dead.  It just smells funny.

You sure know an awful lot about little kid music, though.  They can all go to hell, though, I think everyone agrees.
My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10827 on: June 28, 2020, 04:31:52 AM
You sure know an awful lot about little kid music, though.  They can all go to hell, though, I think everyone agrees.

Hell... even I agree with you. Dubstep should die a painful death.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10828 on: June 29, 2020, 03:28:09 AM
Hell... even I agree with you. Dubstep should die a painful death.

Repeated downward, stabbing, and thrusting motions.

You must always trust me, I a the expert, you know this! 

Why I so play football so much.



My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10829 on: June 29, 2020, 08:40:11 AM
Repeated downward, stabbing, and thrusting motions.

You must always trust me, I a the expert, you know this! 

Why I so play football so much.

I thought American football was a rough sport, but sh*t... no wonder the game is losing it's appeal. J_Tour is stabbing all the players.


If your goal is to somehow get us to incidentally and accidentally watch 'The room' by slicing up 2 minute segments and posting them here... I can tell you I won't fall for it.

Offline j_tour

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10830 on: June 29, 2020, 02:44:11 PM
If your goal is to somehow get us to incidentally and accidentally watch 'The room' by slicing up 2 minute segments and posting them here... I can tell you I won't fall for it.

Tommy Wiseau been here whole time, he see everything!

Sure, you expert on everything now, but you betray me!

My name is Nellie, and I take pride in helping protect the children of my community through active leadership roles in my local church and in the Boy Scouts of America.  Bad word make me sad.

Offline perfect_pitch

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10831 on: June 30, 2020, 08:49:42 AM
Tommy Wiseau been here whole time, he see everything!

Sure, you expert on everything now, but you betray me!

Where's a grammar Nazi when you need one?





[On a side note, I am actually astonished that there is a stock picture of a baby wearing a Nazi uniform... I guess you really can get everything on the internet.]

Offline outin

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Re: Last post wins!!!!!
Reply #10832 on: June 30, 2020, 01:28:03 PM

[On a side note, I am actually astonished that there is a stock picture of a baby wearing a Nazi uniform... I guess you really can get everything on the internet.]

How things are going these days that baby is going to lose a future job over a past misconduct...

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